Beautifully Broken
by Vampgirl79
Summary: *ON HIATUS* She's resentful and distances herself from others. He's consuming with guilt and heartache. Is he the one who can get through to her and break down her walls? Will she let him in her life and open her heart to him? This is a tale about two beautifully broken souls and how they mend each others hearts. AH/OOC *3rd Place WINNER For Best Edward Cullen in the 2014 FCA's*
1. Chapter 1: Resentful and Rescued

**A/N: Hello! First of all I want to thank you for clicking on this new tale of mine. This is my fourth FF and to be technical, I am writing two others currently along with this one, (smh) Wish me luck, haa. Alright for real, this story popped in my head one afternoon and I just had to go with it. I really hope you like the first chapter and will want to continue on this journey with me. If not, no hard feelings and I thank you for giving it a shot. Before you start reading I highly suggest you read this warning:**

**This story contains a sensitive subject and also has references of rape, alcohol, strong language and sexual situations. This is also a drama, not too angsty, romance story. I must warn one more time if any of these themes may make you uncomfortable you probably shouldn't continue reading! Okay, for those of you who are sticking around, thanks. Now on with the story..**

**Disclaimer: Not mine and never will be, darn! But advance tickets to see BD are, yeah! God will Nov. 18th just get here? It's SM's of course but I'm very grateful that I'm allowed to use her characters to create, hopefully, a good story. This story is rated M for a reason!**

**My beta is the awesome, bright and very sweet Serenshadow who is so supportive of my newest Ff's. Thank you hun!**

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><p><strong>Beautifully Broken<strong>

**Chapter One: Resentful and Rescued**

**(BPOV)**

Friday.

My favorite day of the week.

Alright, that's not entirely true. I don't have a favorite anything. But, I do like Fridays.

Simply put, because for the next two days there's no school. Two days I don't have to subject myself to that godawful outdated place. Two days of freedom from my cruel classmates who believe popularity is everything. Thank the Lord that I don't have to face any of those plastic, over makeup-ed, slutty dressed dimwits for two whole days. Or be repulsed by the Senior boys' crude and immature behavior. Two days that I won't be constantly reminded about how alone and invisible I was to the students of Forks High. Then again, I am at fault for that. But after being back stabbed and hurt countless times by people who I stupidly believed were my friends, I'm finished with trusting anyone.

I am done with trying to build and maintain friendships. I only trust myself and can only rely on myself. Quite frankly, having a friendship is too much work. There are too many emotions involved and I don't handle feelings too well. I've built walls around my heart to shelter myself and it suits me just fine. Though I suppose it has backfired because I'm penned as the school outcast; or the 'emo chick'. Pretty much everyone avoids me like the plague, unless it's absolutely necessary for them to interact with me. Of course, the teachers have to interact with me, but even some of them treat me like I'm a ghost. I've gotten used to being treated like this and honestly, it doesn't even bother me anymore..

Besides, I'm just buying my time until graduation. Then I will hightail out of this ordinary, podonk town and find a place where I could blend in, since it's nearly impossible for me to blend here. Perhaps there, wherever it may be, I could finally lower my walls and defenses and make some friends. I could be anyone I wanted to be in a new town. The people there won't know me as 'Emo looney Swan' and perhaps some of them will think I'm beautiful, smart, and amazing. God I need to stop having these fantasies! I might as well face the shitty fact that I'll be stuck in this hole of a wall town forever. I imagine being a waitress serving the daily specials over at the Forks Diner for smelly and greasy truck drivers the rest of my life. The very thought alone disgusts me.

I'm aware I could and should make something more of myself. But I lack the ambition to, and I have no idea why. _You do know why, it's because of the shitty life you live. _No, I wasn't going to start thinking about my past or the resentful feelings I bear towards my family on a daily basis. So a distraction was in order and I had an idea in mind. I entered the house discreetly, after unlocking the door, and walked inside the foyer. Shutting the door behind me, I locked it and took a quick look around to see who was home. Just my father Charlie from the looks of it, who was passed out cold sitting on his treasured recliner. I swear that piece of furniture should be burned, immediately.

So tattered and filthy, it should be outlawed from our house, hell, from our town. I'll never understand why he won't just get rid of the damn thing! How does a fucking chair hold any kind of sentimental value? I think he loves that thing more than his own children, well at least his daughter anyway. Charlie probably loves his son, my older brother Riley, equally as much as that damn ratty, ancient seat. I was halfway up the stairs but decided to turn back around and tiptoe over to the kitchen to grab myself a bottle of water. _Damn, I was parched. _Hurriedly, I retrieved the water out of the fridge and headed back upstairs. The moment I entered inside my bedroom, closed and locked the door, I sighed in relief.

This was the one place where I actually feel…happy, being in the comfort and solace of my room. I guess that sounds ridiculous because most teens my age preferred to be out of the house, cruising in their cars, going to the mall or hanging with their friends. But not me, I was the exception, because lying on my bed while listening to music on my Ipod was my idea of a perfect Friday night. There's another thing I do that helps with the pain and depression I harbor daily. I'm not sure why I started doing this to myself, but it became addicting and now I'm unable to stop. I removed my school clothes and changed into my favorite sweats, then pulled the object out from underneath the mattress. I stared intently at the sharp blade briefly and took a deep breath.

The first time I marked my skin using the blade, it was painful. But after awhile I became immune and numb to the act. Besides, normally I use my fingernails to scratch my wrists and arms instead of the blade; since it could inflict more damage than I like. But today was one of those hellish days I truly wanted to forget. I made only a couple of small incisions in each wrist, withdrawing only minimal blood. Yes, perhaps its twisted what I do, but I'm not suicidal. Seriously, the very mention of death frightens the hell out of me. I placed the small blade back underneath the mattress and then walked over to the dresser. Once retrieving two bandages and some tissues, I directed back to my bed, sat down and quickly got to work.

I was thorough and careful each and every time so that no one would ever suspect a thing. Not that anybody would notice, I was non-existent after all. I shoved my shirt sleeves back down after covering the wounds with band-aids and laid myself down on the comfortable mattress. Then I rolled onto my side and reached for my Ipod where it was on the nightstand. Excitedly, I pressed the power button and once all systems were go, I searched for my favorite play list and hit play. Edgy rock music filled my eardrums and I bobbed my head to the beats. This was just what I needed.

A short time passed and I was scribbling random words inside my journal, losing myself in the words written. But then, a knock on the door rudely interrupted my me time. I ignored the person behind the door, hoping he would just take a hint and leave me the hell alone. But of course, I never get what I wish for.

"Bells?" Charlie's gruff voice bellowed while knocking two more times.

He was well aware I was listening to my music and withdrawing myself from the outside world. Yet, he just had to disturb me anyway, damn sperm donor. That's all he will ever be to me frankly. Charlie only pays attention to me when necessary. Ever since I moved back to Forks months ago, him and I have spoken very little. Before and not by choice, I lived with my free-spirited, immature mother Renee over in Arizona. Over the course of my childhood I felt like a foster child because neither my parents wanted me around. They made that very clear by shuffling me back and forth between the two of them. During the school year I would live with Charlie, then during school holidays and over the summer I would stay wherever Renee lived at the time.

But then once I turned thirteen, Charlie felt it was best that I lived Renee permanently, so that she could be there for me during my teen years. In other words, he just didn't care to deal with the awkwardness that came with raising a teenage daughter. After all, getting rid of me meant he had more time to focus on his golden child, my brother Riley. _Yeah, he's truly a star child for sure!_ The lazy ass still lives at home after graduating from high school last year, because his plan is to take a year off before attending college. I know my brother well and the 'real plan' was to mooch off Charlie and live it up for as long as possible, responsibility free. Lucky bastard, if I even brought up that idea to Charlie for myself, he wouldn't allow it, period. But, since Riley is the favorite and kisses Charlie's ass on a daily basis, he pretty much gets away with anything.

I have never been wanted by 'my father', at least it certainly feels that way. I'm just a person occupying some space in his abode. Life has been like this ever since Renee bailed on us when I was just four years old. Alright, to be honest, living with Charlie during my childhood was pretty decent. When I was younger and I suppose cuter in his eyes, he did pay a little more attention to me. He made me feel included in his and Riley's little inner circle they had going. I was invited, okay more like forced, to tag-along on their fishing trips, bikes rides at the park and tossing around the football in the backyard. Sure, I was a tomboy but at least I was somewhat enjoying being a kid, but then Renee called Charlie one afternoon. Supposedly, she whined to him about how much she missed me and felt guilty that I wasn't being raised by her, so he caved and sent my ass packing without batting an eye. Then my life went to hell.

Living with Renee was miserable. She was rarely ever home except to shower, eat, and sleep. It wasn't because she had a demanding full-time job like most normal parents, oh I so wish that were the reason. My mother was out barhopping and hitting on any random guy who merely winked at her, while her thirteen year old daughter practically lived on her own and fended for herself. Then to make matters worse she would bring some of those scuzzy, uneducated low-life's into our home. Occasionally, they would spend the night and even sometimes Renee begged for them to stay with me while she ran her errands. As if I needed a Goddamn babysitter, especially one who most likely owned a criminal rap sheet. _Yes, my mother was a prize, wasn't she?_

One of the dirt-bag's she had dated for a short time had the audacity to hit on me several times, whenever Renee wasn't around of course. I would ignore him best I could and just played it off because he was intoxicated half of the time. Thankfully, he never tried anything else other than repulsively flirting on me. But then one evening while he was staying for the night and Renee was sleeping, the bastard snuck inside my bedroom. I woke up feeling his hot breath against my face and his almost two hundred pound body on top of mine. I tried to scream and fight him off, but naturally he was much stronger. Thank God Renee woke up to use the bathroom and heard the commotion then checked in to see what was happening. Needless to say, Renee actually behaved like a real mother and threw his disgusting ass out. But that was all she did. She refused to talk about what she saw or comfort me afterwards.

I mean for crying aloud, I was a young girl who was almost raped and Renee acted like she didn't give a fuck! I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and figured maybe she was just disturbed over seeing her boyfriend nearly sexually assault her daughter. However, the next day, when I attempted to discuss with her what occurred, she nearly blamed me for it; saying that if I hadn't appeared "so tempting" he wouldn't have tried anything on me in the first place. I was devastated and beyond heart-broken. I couldn't believe my own mother felt that way and refused to help me through a traumatic moment in my life. Again I was left to fend for myself. Months passed and we never brought up what happened that evening, nor conversed much at all. Truthfully that suited me just fine because I didn't have much to say to the woman who partly sided with that piece of shit over her own flesh and blood.

Things were drama free for quite awhile in our household. Renee didn't even bring any strange men home. Instead, she wisely stayed at their house, though once again I was left to take care of myself. I felt like an adult more than a fourteen year old and she played the role of the damn child. I remember wishing at the time she was more of a mother and we had a better relationship like I saw my friends in school had with their mothers. But the other part was glad she wasn't around, however I would have been happier if I wasn't forced to play the role of Cinderella. I did all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and every other household chore while Renee worked, at least she had a job, thank god. I even assisted Renee with figuring out the bills! I held responsibilities that no teenager should carry.

Then unexpectedly, but not surprising, Renee met Phil, a wannabe rock singer who was in a shitty, talentless band that was just starting out. Of course the second my mom felt she was in "love" with him, (though if you asked me it had more to do with her raging teen like hormones) she wanted to be one of their groupies. Phil had invited her to go on the road with him for a year and God forbid she refused the invitation. She didn't even hide how excited she was to not only embark on this ridiculous journey, but to rid me once again. I was more than eager to oblige, at least with Charlie I didn't play the role of his fucking servant. So after a couple of months my Junior year started, I was sent back to Charlie's and back to living the mundane, small town existence that Forks provides. Renee and I have rarely communicated since, as cruel as this sounds, I don't even miss her, but a small part of me wished that I felt different.

**Knock, knock! **Oh damn, Charlie, right. I had forgotten he's been standing outside my bedroom door while I was lost in my unpleasant memories. I sighed and lowered the volume on the I-Pod, waiting for him to speak again.

"Bells! If you're listening I just wanted you to know that I'm heading off to work-"

Of course he was, all he ever does is work. His job and his prized son was his whole damn life. God forbid he would actually want to spend some quality time with his only daughter, not that I desired that anyway.

"Do you uh...need anything before I leave?" he added, his voice worn and anxious.

I snorted under my breath and rolled my eyes. Was he for real? Why did he even bother asking? Oh right, because it was required of him too. He doesn't give a flying fuck what I need, so why does he bother pretending to?

"No, I'm good Charlie. Anything else? I'm busy." I snapped, clearly hinting that he was being dismissed.

"No, nothing else Bells. Well...just thought you should know that Ri will be home for the evening and he may invite a few friends over."

I almost laughed aloud but withheld it and shook my head in disbelief. Jesus, Charlie has to be the most gullible man on the face of the planet. And he was the town's Chief of Police? My brother's definition of having a "few friends" over really meant that he's planning on throwing a party. _Oh yes, such the golden child he is! _Whatever, it wasn't my concern and I intend on having nothing to do with it. My plan for the night was to stay right here in my room, avoid the party and my fellow classmates. Yes, even though my brother is no longer a student at Forks High, he'll probably invite some of the Seniors from my class, along with their older brothers, sisters, and cousins of course. The way Riley sees it, the more guests the better. How all of them fit into this tiny ass house though was beyond me.

"Why don't you give Angela Weber a call? Maybe she's available to do something." Charlie suggested and I snorted loud enough for his old ass ears to hear.

_What a fucking idiot!_ God, Charlie really was oblivious and paid very little attention to the world around him, especially where I was concerned. If he had then he would remember that Angela and I are no longer speaking. We haven't been friends since the end of last school year. For the briefest of moments, my heart ached over the loss of the only best friend I ever had. Angela used to be such a caring, open-minded and non judgmental person. That was until she became closer friends with that skank bitch Jessica Stanley, and immediately she managed to turn Angela completely against me. Perhaps Ang wasn't as wonderful as I figured she was, if she were she wouldn't have allowed anyone to influence her thinking. Tears sprang up in the back of my eyes and I blinked them back angrily. I'm over it, I have to be. After all Angela moved on and treats me and our friendship as if it never existed.

As far as most of the world was concerned, I am invisible, a nobody, end of story.

Finally I was able to shoo Charlie away and peace was mine once more. I spent it by listening to music again and reading one of my favorite classic stories, The Count of Monte Cristo. All of a sudden fatigue invaded my body and mind and I had a difficult time keeping my eyes open. So I surrendered and allowed the darkness to consume my being.

**~~~~BB~~~~**

My eyelids blinked and slowly opened, setting on a shadowy figure that hovered over me. Alcohol scented breath covered my face and I cringed in fear and disgust. _Holy shi__t, someone is in my room! This was just like years ago when he was in my room and.._Panic clenched my chest as I tried to reach over and turn on the lamp but a scorching, rough hand forced my arm down.

"Ouch! What the fuck? Riley, is that you?" I hissed in low, panic-etched voice.

I prayed to God that it was, or I was just having a nightmare about that low-life who attempted to assault my body all those years ago.

"No, I'm not Riley." An unfamiliar voice spoke and his lust-filled tone sent chills up my spine. "But, I can be whoever you want me to be baby."

No, this can't be happening! I won't allow another filthy bastard to touch me against my will ever again! My breathing became labored as I sat up and jerked his hands off my wrist. Quickly I moved towards the corner of my bed and pressed my back against the wall. Now that the creepy intruder wasn't hunched over me, I was able to see a little better. I blinked repeatedly and focused on the guy who stood beside the edge of my bed. I have no clue who this Peeping Tom was, but judging from his appearance, he might be one of Riley's friends. I shook my head to clear it but then confusion settled in. I was at a loss. I was positive I had locked the door several hours ago. I hadn't been out of the room since, so then how the hell did he get inside?

"Hey, how the fuck did you get in here? That door was locked!" I gestured my head towards it and narrowed my eyes as he grinned at me wickedly.

"No it wasn't sweetheart."

_Sweetheart? Fucking creeper! _Wait a damn minute, did he just imply that the bedroom door was unlocked? That's impossible because… I glanced around the room anxiously and set my gaze on my Ipod which was now resting on top of the nightstand. How did it get over there? I had it with me on the bed when I listened to music right before I fell asleep. Then I vaguely remember waking up a short while later, needing to use the bathroom and…Shit! I must have forgotten to lock the door! _Great job Swan, you fucking idiot! Now that you have solved th__e mystery, make this psycho get the hell out of your room! _I swallowed thickly and stared directly at his face. I wasn't able to distinguish much, thanks to the minimal light, but he appeared quite larger than I. It might be impossible to fight him off but what worried me more was the aroused gleam in his dark eyes.

It was no accident that he happened to enter my room. This asshole has a plan and it seemed there was no stopping him from following through. Too bad for him I would fight back with all I got. I thought about the blade that's hidden underneath my mattress and I scrambled to come up with a plan on how I would retrieve it before he had the chance to stop me.

"Sorry I woke you, I was looking for the bathroom, and thought this was it." His face displayed an innocent expression but the tone in his voice gave away his intentions.

Was this guy serious? How stupid does he think I am? _Well, you are Swan because you should have ran out of the room five seconds ago or at least scream for help._ The problem with that last idea was that no one would even hear me. Because the music coming from downstairs blared so piercingly I was able to understand some of the lyrics.

I centered my attention back to the intruder and snapped coolly, "Well as you can see, this clearly isn't the bathroom. Now get the hell out of my room before I scream! You have five seconds! One...two..."

He laughed obnoxiously and shook his head incredulously. "Go ahead baby, but I wouldn't waste your breath. No one will hear you anyway." He then licked his lips slowly and I grimaced, thoroughly repulsed.

_Think Swan, think! And hurry the hell up, things aren't looking so good for you right about now._

"You might as well enjoy it baby." He sauntered closer towards the edge of the bed and his mouth curved into a devious smile. "I've always wanted to pop the Chief's daughters cherry."

Before I had the chance to react the asshole climbed on top of the bed, grabbed a hold of me and roughly shoved me flat on my back.

"Get the fuck off me!" I screamed through gritted teeth and started to punch his chest violently.

I refuse to go through this again. However, this time may be different than the last. This time I may not be saved. I struggled with pushing back the wave of tears that threatened to fall as flashbacks of what occurred back in Arizona resurfaced. The memories soon faded when I felt his hard body collapse on top of mine and almost all the air in my lungs escaped. Fuck he was heavy and massively strong! Just like Renee's boyfriend… _**Marcus**_. Dammit I wish I had forgotten that vile bastards name! My stomach suddenly churned and I began to feel nauseous and light-headed. _Please God, please don't let this happen to me. Then fight him Bella, fight him with all the strength y__ou possess dammit!_

I attempted to push his chest hard but the bastard didn't even budge. So I kneed his lower stomach but the fucker laughed, finding my efforts to fight him amusing. He then pinned himself harder against my torso and I gasped for air, turning my head repeatedly each time he tried to kiss me.

"No, fuck you asshole! Get the hell off of me, NOW!"

He looked into my eyes and shook his head humorously, then moaned deeply as his large hands lifted my shirt. My fists pounded fiercely on his back, yet it didn't faze him and he continued on with his inappropriate exploring. As his hands discovered the hem of my pants and he pulled it down roughly.

"NO, stop! Don't fucking touch me!" I protested angrily, but he paid me no mind as his hands kneaded my bare breasts.

I think I was about to hurl. _Good, maybe that would make him stop! _Unfortunately the fear I harbored overpowered my urge to vomit, along with the anger that flowed through my veins. Fighting this son-of-a-bitch wasn't working, so what next?

"Hey!" I hollered, grabbing creeper's attention just as his nasty mouth nearly made contact with my left ear. "I have tons of STD's, you don't want to risk catching some, do you?" Maybe not the best thing to say, but hopefully it would do the trick to scare him away.

He laughed uproariously and muttered under his breath, "That's what rubbers are for sweetheart and besides nice try. I know you're a virgin."

I raised an eyebrow at him as my face expressed a repulsed look. How the fuck does he know I'm a virgin? Jesus, were rumors about my lack of sex life floating around? I would bet my own life that Jessica or Lauren spread that personal information about me around. _Forget about that right now Bella, keep fighting him!_

I tried to push his heavy frame off once more but he merely chuckled and whispered right against my lips, "I want to be the first to feel how fucking tight you are. Don't worry, I'll try to be gentle."

His mouth pressed hard on my neck and his tongue slipped out then licked my skin hungrily. _Eww, fucking gross! _I shut my eyes tight because I didn't want to look at this bastards fucking nasty face for one more second. His hips slammed against mine over and over, dry-humping the hell out of me. I can't believe history was repeating itself. That this was happening while my brother was downstairs, having the time of his life hosting his damn party. I can't believe no one heard my screams or at least came up-stairs having to use the restroom. I was in deep shit. _No, don't you dare give up! Keep fig__hting, dammit! There's no way you're going to lose your virginity this way!_

All of a sudden his hand glided inside my panties and his thick fingers brushed over the top of my entrance. I screamed out of the top of my lungs and shoved his chest with all of my might. His body wobbled back but quickly recovered. Then he covered my mouth with his hand and glared at me furiously while muttering, "I'm getting sick and tired of hearing your fucking voice! You're killing the mood you damn bitch! Now shut the fuck-"

As he was spewing on I seized the opportunity and acted on impulse by pressing my mouth over the inside of his hand. Then sank my teeth hard against his flesh.

"OWW, you fucking cunt! FUCK!" he yelped in alarm, flinching backward and examined his hand carefully.

I exhaled heavily and attempted to climb out of the bed but froze when his cold eyes met mine. _Oh, shit! _A look of fury etched on his face and his mouth curled up, displaying his teeth. I gulped and watched in horror as his hand rose and swung towards my face. Just as it grazed my right cheek, a different male voice yelled, "Hey! Leave her the fuck alone, get off her!"

Suddenly pervy was physically forced out of my bed and thrown right onto the floor. _What in the world? _Immediately creeper stood up but didn't have a moment to recover or steal a glance at the person who has stepped in. Because the other person punched him right in his face!

"_**What the fuck man**_?" Pervy shouted incredulously, his voice laced with sheer pain.

Jesus Christ, what just happened? Did my ass really just get saved? Well thank God for this other guy that arrived just in time! Utter panic continued to settle deep in my chest as my heart hammered against my ribs. Dazedly, I observed the scene unfold before my eyes as creeper swayed from side to side with a confused but furious expression etched on his face.

He then cradled his right cheek, rubbing the fresh bruise and groaned painfully. "Dude, what the fuck? Wait for your turn! There's no need to-"

The hero with messy hair, glared at him heatedly and growled, fucking growled under his breath. Jesus Christ that sounded scary and sexy as hell all at the same time! Even in the mostly dark of the room I made out the fury that shined in bed-hair's eyes. He looked so familiar. _Where do I know him from? __  
><em>_  
><em>"Get the hell out of here before I call the Chief, or better yet break your fucking arm!" he warned with a voice laced with such malice I wouldn't doubt he would make good of his threat.

The guy stared at him in appall and utter fright, then nodded his head nervously and bolted out of my room. I released a huge sigh of relief as my chest rose and fell erratically. My exhales were hard and deep as I looked at the hallway outside of my room. I was partly afraid the bastard would show up again and try to get what he wanted the second boy scout here leaves. A soft, warm hand light touched my right shoulder and I flinched violently in reaction. _Christ, he scared the shit out of me!_

"Hey, are you alright?" his voice, that sounded smooth as butter, asked.

He owned the kind of voice that made a certain body part respond in wonderful ways. I turned my head and glared evenly at his stomach. _Holy shit, he was tall! Look at his face, you moron! _I sighed and quickly rolled down my shirt, then pulled up my pants. I sat up carefully and lifted my head in order to gaze into his eyes. Eyes which were a strikingly beautiful jade color. How I was able to detect that with very little light was beyond me.

"Uh, still with me? Are you sure you're okay?" His large but slender hand rested gently on my shoulder and I shrugged him off forcefully.

He took a step back and I was surprised when discovering his face wore a pained and wounded expression. _Who was he and what the hell was he also doing inside __my room? And why does he look so upset?_

Before I thought better of it, the words escaped out of my dry, trembling lips. "Don't touch me." My voice was rough and raw from sleep.

Bronze held up his hands in midair defensively and a hurt expression crossed on his face.

"Sorry, I'm not the bad guy here, remember? I saved your ass." he defended in a calm voice but the slight irritated gleam in his eyes said it all.

He was right, he did come to the rescue for my sorry ass. And instead of being grateful, I was pissed. Because for some Godforsaken reason a part of me wished pervy intruder guy assaulted me. _Come on, you don't mean that Bella!_

"So what do you want, a fucking medal?"

_That was seriously rude, Swan._

God, it would be so much easier to treat messy hair guy like shit if he wasn't so damn beautiful!_ Christ Bella, beautiful? Who thinks of a man as beautiful?_ My thoughts ceased when an annoying, pounding bass noise grabbed my attention. Shit, I momentarily forgotten there was still a party happening downstairs.

"A thank you would have sufficed." Messy hair's dulcet voice muttered, snapping me back to the present.

_He was still here?_

I inhaled deeply and tugged the ends of my hair frustratingly. He had a point, I was being such an ungrateful bitch. But in my defense, I have major trust issues, especially when it comes to men, and understandably so. For example, the perverted asshole who almost raped me just seconds ago was the very reason why I've built up a wall years ago, and continue blocking people from getting too close. I cleared my throat and the sound echoed throughout the room. Suddenly the atmosphere became uncomfortable so I figured it would be best to wrap this up.

"Thank you." I murmured and tried not to directly stare at him.

But it couldn't be helped, he was incredibly attractive, unlike the other guys who attend Forks High. He had to have been one of Riley's friends. No, Riley has idiotic, immature, and repulsive friends. This guy appears and acts gentlemanly which none of those neanderthals friends of my brother's are. _Fuck, he looks and seems so familiar!_ Maybe I should just ask him his name, I mean after all, the dude just came to my rescue.

"You're welcome. Glad I was nearby and overheard..." he trailed off and Goddamn his uneasiness was sexy.

His full kissable lips formed into a slight pout and his brows furrowed deeply as he looked profoundly in thought. It was as if he was struggling with trying to read my mind or something. _Oh that's ridiculous Bella! _Green eyes then ran his hands through that sex hair of his and sighed quietly. God I was beyond jealous of those hands. I wish my hands were caressing those silky looking locks of his. I bet it was baby soft and smelled incredible. Jesus what's with the cheesy thoughts? I haven't been attracted to a guy like this in a long, long time and it was my goal to keep it that way. I certainly wasn't going to start now the second I set eyes on a man who screams hot, passionate sex.

"So... are you sure you don't want me to call the Chief, or tell your brother at least about what that vile, perverted thing did-"

"NO!" I shouted and the pitch in my voice clearly startled him. _God, he must think I'm a ungrateful lunatic!_

I shook my head in protest. "No, please don't call Char- my dad, or tell Riley. Let's just... keep this between us, okay? No one needs to know because nothing happened and..." Great now I was babbling! I swear where is a damn hole to swallow you when you need one?

Bronze's jaw clenched and his face expressed a mixture of disbelief and anger. I was confused, why was he so upset? "Are you sure? I don't think that's a good idea Bella. You were assaulted inside your room and under the roof of Chief Swan's house no less..."

Wait up! How does he know my name? Who is this guy and furthermore, where the hell does he get off trying to play role of protector? Why does he care so fucking much?

Just as I opened my mouth to dispute with him a familiar voice bellowed, "Hey Cullen! What the fuck are you doing in my sister's room?"

Immediately our heads turned and our eyes fixed on Riley who was standing outside the bedroom doorway with a puzzled, suspicious look on his face. _Cullen?_ My heart nearly stopped beating as my finally working brain put two and two together. _Holy shit! Edward Cullen. _One of the most popular guys in school Edward Cullen. The town doctor's son Edward Cullen. Mr. Perfect Grades Edward Cullen. Mr. I've Dated All The Fake Looking Bimbos in Forks High Edward Cullen. He was here, right inside my room after coming to my aid only five minutes ago. This has to be a nightmare. _Please God let me wake up from this dream and find out none of this happened!_

If I were only so lucky, but I wasn't. So I was left to face the facts; Edward Cullen with his tousled fucking hair, piercing green eyes, and luscious lips was standing inside my room! And I look like absolute shit, treated him horribly, and yet he's still talking to me. Me Bella Swan, aka emo chick. I don't recall him and me ever saying more than two words during the almost two years I've been attending FHS. Wow, this needed to make the history books!

"I was um... I needed to double-check with Bella about the Chemistry homework we were assigned for this weekend." Edward finally answered and cast a quick glance in my direction.

Riley glared at me for confirmation and I shrugged innocently. "Uh yeah, that's it. What he said."

Riley rolled his eyes. "Alright, whatever. Just use a rubber if you... you know, okay Cullen? Unless you want my dad to shoot your balls off." He shook his head and chuckled as if he shared the world's funniest fucking joke.

Asshole! So funny my dumb-ass brother is. Christ, most brothers would threaten a guy's life if they found him in their sisters room, but not Riley. He couldn't fucking care less! Hold up, why do I want him to care? He's never shown any sort of kindness to me throughout the years, so why would he start now? Apparently, Edward appeared bothered by my brother's nonchalant attitude towards me as it was written all over his gorgeous face. Again I was puzzled as to why Edward Cullen seemed to take such a sudden interest in me, not that I minded.

"Listen Riley, it's not what you think-" Edward attempted to clear up but was cut short when a girl's voice yelled, "Hey Ri baby, where are you?"

Riley turned his back on us and said, "Well peeps, that's my cue."

I watched him practically race down the hallway and headed towards the stairs. The moment he was out of sight I muttered to Edward, "Okay now it's time for you to leave."

He raised a brow questioningly and his face reflected concern. "Are you sure that's a good idea? Maybe I should-"

I glowered irritably at him. "Yes it is. I know what's best for me, so get out of my room, now!"

"Bella-"

I groaned in frustration. God, is he always this stubborn and impossible? I was truly thankful for what he did, but I'm exhausted. Honestly, I just wanted to be alone and try to forget all the events that just occurred.

"Edward," I whispered and I loved the way his name sounded as it escaped out of my lips. "Again, I appreciate what you did but I would be even more grateful if you left me alone."

Besides I really wanted to take a quick shower and wash off the creeper's filth.

Edward sighed soundly and shook his head in disbelief. "Alright then, well guess I'll see you around."

He stole one last look at me and I almost melted right into the bed. Those eyes of his would be the death of me, I was certain of it. I nodded firmly and lowered my eyes fixing them on my hands. "Yeah, see you."

I exhaled softly and closed my eyes, because if I look at him one more time I would cave and ask him to stay to keep me company. The temptation was far too great, damn him! The quiet click of the door shutting indicated that he was gone.

I was alone again, or so I thought.

My eyes trained on the door then lowered and glared directly at the crack underneath. Sure enough I discovered a pair of feet that most likely belonged to Edward. Unbelievable, he was fucking guarding my room! I would be lying if I said I wasn't flattered by the gesture. I debated whether to leave the room to shower in worry I would face him again. But I seriously wanted to get that disgusting asshole's strong scent off of my body. Hurriedly, I retrieved a new pair of pajamas out of the dresser and exited my room. Edward was sitting on the floor right beside the door and I could barely contain my laughter.

"What?" he asked as a slight embarrassed and offended look etched on his face.

"Nothing…sorry, it's just you body-guarding my room isn't necessary. I really don't think that perverted bastard will show his face around here again and-"

Edward's eyes narrowed and his chiseled jaw clenched as his eyes flashed in fury. "I'm not willing to take that chance. Besides it's no problem, I think the party is just wrapping up, so I'll just remain here until everyone leaves."

I sighed and rolled my eyes agitatedly. "You are aware Riley didn't buy your bullshit story earlier, right?"

Edward shrugged and grinned crookedly. _Oh Jesus, what a smile this man owns!_ I shook my head to clear the haze that was caused by Edward Cullen and eyed him evenly.

"You're seriously just going to sit here, for however long?"

"Yep."

"I don't understand you!"

Edward chuckled lightly under his breath and damn that voice of his made my belly flip-flop. "You're not the first person who's said that to me."

"Ugh, whatever, I'm going to take a shower!" I threw my hands up in frustration and entered the bathroom, then locked the door.

Damn that stubborn, freaking beautiful, heroic guy!

A few minutes later I was face to face with him again. A soft smile creased his mouth as his eyes admired my freshly-clean appearance. My cheeks lightly reddened and he lowered his gaze, pretending to be occupied with the cell phone that was in his left hand.

"So…um, are you feeling a bit better now?" his creamy voice whispered and once again my insides reacted to his tone.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah I am, thank you… I mean, for everything, for what you did."

"Don't mention it. I'm just glad you're alright."

Our eyes locked on the others for what seemed like hours, but unfortunately the trance was broken when Riley's voice resounded throughout the house. He was informing his buddies that the party was over and everyone needed to haul their asses out of here before Charlie arrived back home. Finally peace and quiet at last. This was one hell of a night and I was eager for it to end.

"Well, guess that's your cue to leave." I murmured and shuffled my feet uncomfortably.

Edward rose off the floor and took a step towards me, his deep greens gazing intently on my face. "Ah, nice try. But I'm not leaving until your brother throws me out."

I scowled at him and folded my arms over my chest irritably. "Well, that can be arranged. Hey Ril-

"Bella, please just humor me and allow me to stay until the coast is clear." His face and eyes pleaded with me and I was too tired to argue with him any further.

I inhaled sharply and smirked. "Fine, whatever tickles your peach."

I crossed the three steps needed to reach my room and entered inside. As I closed the door, I heard Edward murmur, "Good night Bella."

"Night Edward."

I quietly shut the door, headed for bed and climbed in. Once I made myself comfortable underneath the warm sheets, I gazed at the door. Just like earlier, I spotted his shoes underneath the crack and my head shook in disbelief. _He was something else!_ In a matter of seconds unconsciousness invaded my body and mind. And for the first time in a long while, I had a blissful and dreamless sleep.

**~~~~BB~~~~**

**A/N: Hi again, *waves* Well, if you made it this far, thank you! I realize the subject of cutting is a sensitive one but it's one that's very personal to me and I assure you I will handle it delicately. Also it won't be mentioned often or in great detail. This story will focus more on the bond that Bella and Edward share and how they will help each other heal. As you read Bella has plenty of issues and Edward also has a great deal himself. You will find out soon what they are. The next chapter I have a feeling you will like more and the ones to come after :) I should inform you also that this story, as I see it playing out in my mind, will only be ten chapters if that.**

**I don't have intentions of dragging this out, but that doesn't mean an HEA will come quickly by any means. Alright I don't want to give the story away, lol, so you will just have to tune in next time to see what happens :) Feel free to check out my other stories as well, the others are very different from this one. Oh and as far as an update schedule, incase you are curious, most likely I will be updating this every two weeks. I wish sooner, or it may be later since I write two other fics. But I can promise you wont have to wait too long. Especially for the next update since it's already pre-written.**

**Okay, I blabbed enough, so with that, feel free to leave me a review! I love hearing from my readers but please be thoughtful in what you say :) Oh and also you can catch up with me or chat with me on Twitter: vampgirl792011 or on FB at my fanpage vampgirl79 Fanfiction. Till next time, Leslie**


	2. Chapter 2: An Invitation & Interrogation

**A/N: Hello sweeties, Happy Weekend! Hope all of you are having a great one :) See, you didn't have to wait long for another BB update. I had to get this chapter up because it's way lighter than the first. In fact there are some parts that are a bit funny. At least I hope you all get a chuckle out of it :) Anyhow, I just quickly wanted to thank all of you for adding this story to your alerts, favorites and for the reviews! It was a nice surprise. I admit I was pretty worried about how people would react to the first chapter. I'm really glad you decided to join me on this journey, and as I said things won't be so dark and heavy as the first chapter. I will try not to let it be anyway, but well it all depends on my imagination. Alright, I'm sure you want to get to reading, so I will talk with you more at the end!**

**Disclaimer: **This story contains a sensitive subject and also has references of rape, alcohol, strong language and sexual situations. This is also a drama, not too angsty, romance story. I must warn one more time if any of these themes may make you uncomfortable you probably shouldn't continue reading!****

****Also, not mine, it's of course SM's and I'm very grateful that I'm allowed to play with her characters :) This story is also rated M!****

****My beta is the awesome Serenshadow, who is the best for dealing with my impatience, lol. For real thanks hun so very much!****

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two: An Invitation and Interrogation<strong>

I woke up startled, hearing a soft but firm tap on the door. I groaned sleepily into my pillow and rolled over to my right side. Sleep almost inhabited my being once again but was rudely interrupted by a gruff voice.

"Bells?"

Charlie! Goddamn him! Doesn't he know what time it is? Granted I have no idea what time it is, but I had a feeling it was early because I was still so exhausted. So it must mean it's the middle of the night. Then why on earth would Charlie be awake? I didn't have the energy to figure it out or care so I sighed and immersed myself back into the welcoming darkness.

**Knock, knock!**

_Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me!_ This better be a dream or Charlie's head was about to be chewed off. I didn't give two shits if he was my father, he knows better! Him and Riley know not to disrupt my sleep under any circumstances, unless the house was on fire.

"Bells?" he said in a raised and irritated tone of voice.

I groaned soundly on purpose, hoping he heard and blindly grabbed for the pillow underneath the one my head rested on. I placed it over my face and focused on tuning Charlie out to the best of my ability. A second of silence passed and I sighed in relief. Good maybe he finally grasped I was dead to the world.

**Knock! **I spoke too soon, fuck!

"Bells? Come on, wake up! There's someone on the phone who wants to talk to you."

What? Someone calling for me, on the house line no less? No way! For one thing, no one ever calls me. Well, except for Renee when she decides to give a damn and makes her every six months call just so she feels good about herself. But it couldn't be Renee on the phone, she only calls my cell, never the house phone. Heaven forbid if she were to speak to Charlie for a few seconds if he were to answer. So, Charlie must be mistaken or I'm dreaming because nobody gives a shit about me enough to call.

"Go away!" I yelled, my voice groggy and hoarse.

"Bella, are you seriously still sleeping?"

_No shit Sherlock! What drew you to that obvious conclusion? After you knocked for the fiftieth fucking time and I didn't answer? _I exhaled sharply and grudgingly opened my lids._ Ugh, it's too bright in here, need the dark right now! _

I closed my eyes tight and finally replied, "Yes, I'm sleeping! Now tell whoever it is to call me back later."

I decided to humor him since I was skeptical that there was a real person waiting for me to talk to them. Why Charlie was playing a joke on me I have no idea, but I wish he would leave me the hell alone!

"At almost one in the afternoon?" Charlie asked incredulously, sighing in disapproval.

I could just imagine the look on his face. He never cared for my desire to sleep often. He didn't see it as normal and always tried to encourage me to get out of the house and exercise, insisting it would give me energy. What the hell ever. He should be grateful I was the type of person who just enjoys a good sleep. I could be using drugs or having unprotected sex with random losers. Yet he was concerned about my "sleeping issue". I almost forgot he was standing across the other side of the door, until he talked again.

"Look Bells, can I come in? Or open the door please? Edward Cullen is on the phone and waiting for you."

His name grabbed my attention and immediately I yanked the pillow off my face then sprang in an upright position. I rubbed my eyes repeatedly and struggled with keeping the fatigue at bay. I seriously must be dreaming, or need to have my ears checked, because I thought Charlie said Edward Cullen is on the phone for me. No, that can't be right. I don't speak to Edward Cullen and he has never really spoken to me either, unless needed. He was popular in school and very easy on the eyes. I was a nobody and plain as fucking day. Suddenly my mind replayed last night's events and it all came back to me. Edward saved my ass from almost being assaulted by a perverted intruder who tried to have his way with me. Edward and I shared a few words after and I recall he was kind, helpful, and surprisingly interested in my well-being.

Last I remember, he was standing guard outside of my bedroom door after I kicked him out because I wanted to go to sleep. Okay, maybe this wasn't a dream, perhaps he really was on the phone and wanted to talk. But if that were true, then why? What does he want? _Stop thinking about it and find out!_

"Ugh, for the love of God, Isabella Marie, open the door right now! It's rude to keep people waiting." Charlie chastised.

I was aware his nerves were shot because of me and I bet everything I own his face was all shades of red and veins were practically popping out of his forehead too. Normally I would be amused by his temper, but I was more intrigued with the fact that Edward Cullen was waiting to talk to me. _For real Bella, get over it and just answer before he gets impatient from waiting and hangs up!_ Wait, what if I do answer the call, what do I say? What will he say and furthermore, what does he want? _God my head was starting to hurt from all of my__ over-analyzing!_ I sighed and chewed my lower lip between my teeth.

"Dad, stop messing around! Who is it really on the phone?"

Charlie inhaled and I was certain from the other side of the door his eyes were shooting daggers at me. "It's Edward Cullen, Bells. Dr. Cullen's son. He said he wants to speak to you, said it was important."

Important? Alright, mystery solved, I was wide awake now and at last realized this was for real. Carefully and tentatively, I climbed out of bed and hurried over to the door. The moment I opened it Charlie scowled irritably and shook his head. "About time," he grumbled. "Poor kid has been waiting long enough."

I threw him an annoyed look and silently tried to warn him that Edward probably overheard what he said. Charlie shrugged and stared questioningly into my eyes. Oh great. I know that look. He was curious, suspicions and therefore the second I finish talking to Edward, the interrogation would be begin. There was no choice, I had to prolong the conversation with Edward for as long as possible. _Wait, what am I thinking? _I was freaked out about speaking to him again. So how could I even think about wanting to speak to him for an extended amount of time? My heart was beating so violently, I worried it may burst out of my chest. And my stomach twisted in such tight knots, heightening my anxiety times a hundred.

_Get a grip Swan, you chatted with him last night, this will be no different. Right, I can do this!_

"Here." Charlie muttered interrupting my inner rambles and practically shoved the phone underneath my nose.

I frowned agitatedly. "Um, thanks." I grabbed the phone walked back inside the room and without saying another word slammed the door in Charlie's face.

Yes, I know quite the rude thing to do, but well I am a teenager after all. I listened to him grumble unintelligibly under his breath and the sounds of his footsteps trailing down the hallway. The second I believed he was out of earshot I placed the phone against my left ear and took a deep breath. I have to get a hold of myself, I was acting stupid and like a preteen who was about to converse with her crush.

"Ah, hello?" I greeted in a quite unattractive groggy-induced voice.

"Bella?" Edward's velvety voice responded and my heart responded in surprising ways, soaring and fluttering.

_What the fuck? Don't let Edward Cullen win you over like he did with countless other girls, be strong! The last thing you need in your life was a complication. _What life? I don't have one and why was I even thinking this? Edward Cullen wouldn't want me if I were the last woman existing in the entire planet. He was probably calling to ask me something about school or...

"That didn't sound like you." Edward chuckled in amusement.

The sounds of his voice made a certain body part of mine set on fire. Oh god, I think I was aroused. Shit, I was fucked! I was becoming pretty enthralled by him, not good, at all. _Remember Bella you are an outcast, a nobody and certainly no Swan. _He had dated most of the plastic looking bimbos of FHS. I don't even compare to them and that was fine because I wouldn't want to be anything like those slutty bitches if my life depended on it. _Wow, jealous much?_

"I was getting worried, you took awhile answering and-"

"So, what do you want? How did you get Char-, I mean my dad's number?" I rudely intruded, cutting him mid-sentence.

_Nice one Swan, and you wonder why you don't have any friends!_

Edward cleared his throat uncomfortably then murmured, "Well... I have my ways."

Why that sexy, cryptic, sneaky guy!

"Oh, I bet you do." I shot back, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

_God Bella, could you lower the bitchiness a few notches?_

"And as far as why I called, well... I wanted to find out how you are doing after what happened last night."

I groaned under my breath and rolled my eyes. I should have known. He pities me, I'm pathetic to him. He just feels sorry for the unpopular girl who almost got raped. Of course he didn't want to discuss anything else, why would he want to make friends with the 'emo chick'. _Stupid, stupid Bella! _Wait a sec, why would I want him to talk to me about random things? I thought I wanted nothing to do with him, right? Christ, in a matter of less than twenty-four hours this guy managed to turn my life upside down. That just won't fly with me, this has to end, now.

"I'm fine Edward, thanks. Look, I already thanked you for doing your good deed, what more do you want?"

Edward sighed and I may have imagined it but the tone in his voice sounded wistful. Shit this guy really confuses me!

"I wanted to talk to you and to-"

"We are talking. So if that's all, then I really have to get-"

"I want to see you as well Bella." his voice was smooth, low and incredibly sexy.

_Never mind that, did you catch what he just said?_ Edward flat out implied that he wants to see me! Is he on some sort of medication that makes him go crazy and decide to talk to chicks he wouldn't normally be caught talking to? Yeah, I'm leaning towards the last theory.

"What?" I stammered, like a fucking moron. "You want to see _**me**_?"

Edward laughed and oh, how my thighs quivered perfectly in response. God I'm such a virgin!

"Yes,"

"Are you sure you're asking the right person?"

He chuckled again and his buttery voice was music to my ears. I'm so glad I amuse him!

"Well, your name is Bella Swan, correct?"

I exhaled sharply and snickered dryly. "Yes, last time I checked smart-ass."

_Wow, that was an attractive thing to say!_

"So, you actually want to see me?"I double checked and held my breath while waiting for his reply.

I was positive Edward would wake up from his moment of temporary insanity and realize his mistake.

"Yes, I really would like for us to ah, hang out." His voice sounded surprisingly nervous. I have to admit it was too fucking cute for words._ Oh no, don't go falling for his charms!_

"You want to hang out, with me?" I shook my head in disbelief. Is there any justice left in this world?

Edward laughed deeply. "Yes, I want to hang out with you and only you Bella Swan. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Uh, because you're Edward Cullen." I moronically blurted out, without thinking it through. I swear to God I should ask Charlie to buy me a muzzle for Christmas this year.

"Well, that is my name last time I checked."

Ugh, why that fucking beautiful wise-ass!

"And your point, Bella?"

My point? I could give him several, such as he's unbelievably handsome and I'm just, well too ordinary and not right for him, that's what. I inhaled quietly and walked over to my bed, gently sitting down on the edge. Alright, maybe I'm the one who's losing my mind, but I was curious in seeing how this would play out. I half expected for Ashton Kutcher to pop out of nowhere and announce that I've been Punk'd. It was just too unreal that Edward Cullen wanted to spend any time with me. What are the odds?

"No, no point, I guess. Just... so when do you want to hang?" I tried to keep my voice steady but it was cracking. God, how embarrassing!

"Today, in a few minutes actually if you are free. I'm aware it's last minute but-"

This isn't happening! No way did I become this lucky to be asked to chill with the most popular guy in school. It doesn't happen to girls like me. This has to be a joke or... I don't know what, but I want no part of it. Just to be on the safe side, I figure I should save myself from future heartbreak and refuse his invitation.

"Sorry but um...today's no good. I have a lot of homework to do." _Homework? What a lame ass excuse Swan!_

"Homework? That's what you plan to do with your Saturday? On a nice day like this?" Edward asked incredulously and I imagined him shaking his head in disbelief.

I sighed exasperatingly. I seriously don't get this dude, what does he want from me? I've been living back in Forks for almost two years and during that time we've barely interacted. Now all of a sudden he's taken an interest in me, why? _Oh stop fucking wondering and find out! _A huge part of me really wants to but I was afraid of getting hurt. I can't allow myself to get too involved with him. I can't trust another person, not ever again.

"Yes, I have homework and I couldn't care less what I do with my Saturday and neither should you. So thanks but no thanks."

"Wait! Bella, don't hang up. Just...please spend the day with me. You won't regret it, I promise." his voice pleaded and it sounded truly genuine.

Maybe it won't hurt to just go and... _No, bad idea! Don't consider it a second longer!_ Besides Charlie wouldn't allow me to spend alone time with a guy anyway. Granted, him and I never actually discussed the rules of my dating. But that was because the subject didn't come up, until now. _Dating? Think you're getting way ahead of yourself there!_

"Why? Why do you want to spend the day with me? Out of every girl in the entire town of Forks, correction the world, why me?"

_Wow you are really selling yourself, aren't you?_

Edward sighed. "Are you always this way with guys? Why is it so hard to believe that I want to spend time with you and get to know you?"

"Because before last night, before you saved my ass, you and I barely spoken two words to each other." I retorted.

"That's not true. We were lab partners, remember? We talked then."

I snorted humorously. "That doesn't count Edward." He groaned under his breath and I discovered that my irritating him was a bit of a turn on.

"Look Bella, do you want to waste the rest of the afternoon arguing about this? Or may I swing on by and pick you up?"

I contemplated over his words for several moments and they were the longest of my life. However I answer could affect my day, damn my life!

"Alright fine. So what time will you be here?"

"Actually, I'm already in the neighborhood. How much time do you need?" his voice etched with slight guilt and my eyes widened over what he hinted.

"You figured I would say yes, didn't you?" I accused in a hard tone of voice.

Edward laughed nervously. "Ah, well, I was hoping. So... what time should I be there?"

I quickly stole a glance at the alarm clock and it indicated that it was about five minutes till one. "Uh, can you give me twenty minutes or so?"

"Not a problem." he reassured me in that make my panties wet voice of his.

Oh God, this was happening. I'm about to have a... well not a date, but I will be hanging out with Edward Cullen. This can't be real. I think now would be the perfect time to panic. _No, wait until after you hang up genius!_My stomach was twisting in knots and my hands started to tremble frantically. Christ, I have to pull myself together and fast!

"Okay, well, guess I'll see you soon Bella-"

Suddenly the obvious question I should have asked him seconds ago popped into my mind, prompting me to ask, "So, where are we going?"

I wanted to ask what I should wear to this outing, but I didn't want to make myself look stupid. The last thing he needed to know was that I believed this might be a date.

"It's sort of a...surprise. But I will advise that you should dress warm."

Dress warm? Why? It appeared to be a pretty pleasant day outside today; partly sunny and cloudy. A rare occurrence in Forks. So then what was the need for dressing warm?

"Oh come on, give me some kind of clue as to where we're going." I shamelessly begged. I mean, damn help a girl out a little!

Edward chuckled. "There's water."

_Huh, water?_

"Edward, uh-"

"I'll see you soon Bella, looking forward to it."

"Wait, I need to-"

**Click!** The end of his line was dead silent and I groaned irritably into the mouthpiece. Perfect, I was having a non-date with Edward Cullen and I have no idea what to wear or where we are going! I was royally screwed! Dammit, what should I wear? _Why are you even caring so much? Unless you want to make an impression on him. _No, that's ridiculous! I couldn't care less what Edward thinks about how I look. Oh who am I joking? It's Edward Cullen for crying aloud! _Exactly, so don't even __think for a second that he could be remotely interested in you! _He was probably doing this as one of his good deeds for the month. Okay, if I believed that then why did I agree to go hang with him? Because I'm an idiot, end of story! Yeah a nervous and extremely confused one at that.

I was still trying to figure out why Edward would want to spend time with me outside of school and it had nothing to do with a project we were partnered up for. _Look, why don't you just ask him what the deal is when he picks y__ou up? _I yanked on the ends of my hair in frustration. Shit, I really need to get my ass in gear and figure out what to wear! Alright, so he didn't reveal where we were going or what we were doing once we arrive there. All he hinted was that I should dress warm. _God, could he have been more vague?_ I sighed angrily, pushed myself off the bed and strolled over to my closet. Once I opened the door, my eyes glared at my clothes in distaste and I groaned in frustration. Ugh, I truly lack variety in my wardrobe! Since when I have I gave a crap about that?

I always preferred to dress comfortably and cover my body up as much as possible. So I certainly wasn't going to impress him or start dressing differently now. Besides, I was under the impression this is going to be a casual outing. So jeans and a t-shirt always work in that case. Quickly I chose my favorite pair of jeans, then a long sleeved, low-cut shirt. Why I chose that was beyond me, I don't own much cleavage to show off. I exhaled sadly and also selected my favorite hoodie to complete the outfit. Well, that's as good as it was going to get. It was also a good thing I had showered last night, so one less thing to worry about. Yet I still wanted to freshen up in the bathroom. After I did, I was back inside the room and getting dressed.

The moment I slipped the shirt over my head, Charlie's voice yelled, "Bells! Could you come down please?"

_Oh Christ, not now Charlie!_ I'm not in the mood for his line of questioning. I had a feeling he was going to do this shit to me!

I huffed in agitation then replied, "Yeah Charlie, be right down!"

Frantically I slipped on my socks, then my converse sneakers and put on my hoodie. There, all set. _No, wait Bella, brush your damn hair, will yah? It looks like a damn bush! _Damn thick hair of mine. I retrieved my hairbrush from where it laid on top of the dresser and proceeded to comb my hair. I headed over to the door, opened it and walked inside the bathroom. I was afraid to look at my reflection again, but well here goes. I frowned the moment I turned on the light and stared back at myself. God, I was the very definition of plain and unattractive. So yes, this outing was just about him being polite and doing this out of pity for me. How pathetic!

Damn, why don't I own more make-up? All I have is mascara, lip gloss and two kinds of blush. I may have some lipstick somewhere... Oh forget it, I didn't have time to throw some on my face anyhow. I sighed soundly and tried to make my hair presentable as possible. But it laid flat and slightly waved, well at least it didn't look like a bird's nest anymore. I shook my head, pulled my cell phone out of my front pocket and checked the time. Dammit, he will be here in about five minutes! I took a deep, shaky breath, turned off the light and walked slowly out of the bedroom. I was dreading this conversation with Charlie, it was going to be the very definition of awkward. I climbed down the stairs at a snail like pace and headed over to the kitchen.

I passed the living room first and Riley was there lounging on the sofa, watching some kind of sports crap on the flat-screen. He held a bowl of cereal in his hands and devoured it like it was his last meal in existence. _Fucking pig!_ He didn't even acknowledge me and I sure as hell wasn't going to greet him. So I headed towards the kitchen but stopped dead in my tracks before entering. Charlie was sitting at the kitchen table drinking his favorite brand of beer and glaring at me, studying my every move. He was now playing the role of Chief of Police, not father, but cop. Fuck my life! He nodded stiffly and his hand gestured towards the vacant chair across from him.

"Have a seat Bells."

I lifted my chin up, attempting to appear innocent and unfazed in the slightest. But on the inside my heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode out of my chest. My head was spinning and my stomach also felt nauseous. _Get a grip Bella, maybe it won't be so bad._

I swallowed and replied quietly, "No thanks, I'll stand."

Charlie scoffed and shrugged as his dark eyes examined my face curiously. "Alright, suit yourself. Hungry? I can make you a sandwich."

What? Charlie offered to make me some food? That is odd and not a good sign. Was this a test? Should I accept his offer or...

"No, thanks...um, I'm just thirsty."

Which was the truth, my throat was parched, yet my stomach was wanting food. It growled angrily at me but I ignored it and just pulled out a carton of OJ from the fridge. After pouring some into a glass and helping myself to a generous gulp, Charlie broke the ice.

"So, Edward Cullen, huh? Isn't he a little old for you?"

I narrowed my eyes at him and almost burst out laughing. Riley however, had no shame and did, his obnoxious chuckles made Charlie frown irritably. It was humorous what Charlie asked because he damn well knows Edward and I are in the same grade, doesn't he? Charlie stared at me hard while waiting for my answer and I struggled with refraining from rolling my eyes.

"No Charlie, Edward's a Senior, I'm a Senior."

Charlie nodded stiffly and his gruff expression remained on his face. Great, there was more, many more questions that he had in store and Edward will be here any minute.

"So, when did you start talking to Edward Cullen? I thought you didn't like any of the boys in town or had any interest in ah..."

Watching Charlie appear uneasy over the topic of my dating was downright hilarious. It would be even more so if that were actually the case.

"Edward doesn't live in town, technically, and besides I thought you liked Dr. Cullen?"

Charlie made some unintelligible noise under his breath and stroked his mustache thoughtfully. Oh perfect, I know what it means when he does that, this conversation was about to take a serious turn. I wish now more than ever that I was invisible. Or owned an invisibility cloak like Harry Potter, that would come in handy right about now.

"Sure I do, Dr. Cullen is a good man and a brilliant doctor. His boys have given me no trouble over the years. Unlike these other hell raisers in town." Charlie took a long swig of his beer and Riley snorted loudly in amusement.

"Riley, that's enough. Mind your business!" Charlie scolded.

It was dead quiet for several seconds until Charlie cleared his throat. "Look Bells, even though Edward Cullen is Dr. Cullen's son and he might be a good kid, the fact remains that he called you. I don't mean any offense by this Bells, but since you have been back home no guy seemed to take any-"

He paused short when catching the wounded and offended expression on my face. Could he be any more insulting? Even though sadly, he was right. "Sorry, what I meant was-"

I had to stop him before he got really out of hand, and needed to end this discussion immediately because Edward will be here any second. Not to mention that things took a seriously uncomfortable turn.

"Listen Charlie, it's not what you think. Edward and I are just going to hang out and-" _Oh shit, what a way to drop the bomb on him Swan! You were supposed to gradually lead up to it and charm him so that he would a__gree to this._

Charlie's face lightly reddened and his eyes narrowed sharply. The look on his face was intense and frankly, scared the hell out of me._ Bella, take it back before it's too..._

"Did I hear right? Did you just say you and Edward Cullen are planning to hang out?"

"Yes." I stupidly answered, then turned my head and glanced at the wall clock to check on the time.

Dammit, where is he? Figures he would be late or perhaps he was standing me up. I should have known better. God I'm a fucking idiot! Light moisture filled my eyes and my cheeks flamed deeply. I was so humiliated for many reasons and all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and live there forever. That was a more appealing option than living in this shithole that's my life.

"When?" Charlie's stern voice asked, pulling me back to the present.

I lowered my head and stared at my feet. "Uh, like now. I mean... he'll be here any moment to pick me up." Yeah, sure, the jerk stood me up!

Charlie exhaled deeply. "Where's he taking you? A movie, lunch?"

"I don't know." I idiotically replied. I truly wanted to smack the back of my head.

Riley laughed again and Charlie warned that he better shut it or he would be walking to places for an entire month. Was it just me or was I the only one who found it sad that Riley was still being punished like a nine year old? He was nineteen, almost twenty for god sakes!

"You don't know?" Charlie repeated and out of the corner of my eye, I spotted him glaring at me suspiciously.

"Dad please, just don't make a big deal out of this. It was last minute and I don't even think he likes me in that way, so..."

Charlie's eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Why not?" Seriously, he needs to make up his mind, either he wanted Edward Cullen to like me or not, take me out or not! What was his deal?

I sighed. "Because I'm just, I..."

**Knock, knock!**

Never was I more happy to hear a door being knocked. But the happiness soon faded when a bundle of nerves invaded my insides like a ton of bricks. He was here! Holy shit, he actually showed up! Oh God. I looked up, watching as Charlie slowly rose out of his seat and strolled out of the kitchen. Oh God please, no! He wasn't planning on answering the door, was he?

"Riley, sit down son, I got this."

Shit, I have to stop him! I practically sprinted out of the kitchen and followed Charlie as he headed over to the front door.

"Charlie, I can answer it-"

"Hey Riley, which one should I use... the Smith and Wesson or the-"

"No, Charlie, don't! Come on!" I begged in a voice that sounded like a whiny five year old's.

Riley doubled over in laughter and Charlie smirked then winked at me. "It's alright Bells, don't worry, I know where to shoot him so he won't feel a thing."

I scowled angrily and folded my arms tightly across my chest. I can't believe him! He was fucking with me! For someone who takes minimal interest in me most of the time, I found it odd that he started caring about me all of a sudden. He was actually behaving like a real, over-protective father. Though it should touch me, it pissed me off more. He has no right to behave this way, he was acting ridiculous!

Just as Charlie placed his hand over the door knob, I placed my hand on top of his and muttered, "I'll get it, dad."

"No Bells, this is my house. Go inside the living room and wait."

I tried to beg him using my once signature let me get my way look, but Charlie wouldn't budge. He just gestured his head towards the direction of the living room and I groaned in reply. I stomped my feet across the floor and slumped down heavily on the recliner. My breath caught and my heart thundered against my ribs as Charlie opened the door. I watched nervously while Charlie eyed Edward sternly and critically. I gulped the hard ball that was stuck in the middle of my throat and buried my face between my hands. Whether this was a date or not, I was sure that if it were, it would be the last. And to think I won't even receive my first kiss. _Oh keep dreaming._

Edward appeared surprisingly calm while greeting Charlie and smiled cordially. His eyes quickly flickered and trained on my face, then focused back on Charlie. "Hello Chief Swan, I'm Edward-"

"I know who you are boy and I know why you are here. Come in and have a seat."

My face reddened even more and I couldn't bear to look as Edward entered inside the house. I gazed at my feet and listened to the sound of the door closing. Riley chuckled quietly and I felt his eyes train on me as he whispered, "This is going to be good."

"Riley, go to your room." Charlie ordered and a small, satisfactory grin creased on my lips.

"But dad, come on! I'm not a kid, you can't just send me to my room like I'm-"

"You're still living under my roof aren't you?" Charlie countered. Riley didn't respond and I assumed he nodded his head. "Well then do as I ask."

Riley sighed loudly and stormed out of the room, heading upstairs. I heard the creak of the sofa as Edward's body rested on it. Slowly, I raised my head and shyly glanced in his direction. He mouthed "Hi" to me and I blushed then downcast my eyes. Jesus, what was I, thirteen?

"Bell, have a seat over at the couch please." Charlie commanded his voice eerily calm.

Oh right, I was sitting on his precious man throne. I obeyed and hurriedly walked over by the sofa, then sat as far away as possible from Edward. Which was very difficult to do because from the quick look I stole, I noticed he looked even sexier than he did last night. How was that possible? And Christ, he smells so good! What I would give to kiss his neck and run my hands through his messy ass hair, messing it up even more. Fuck, what am I thinking? I have got to stop daydreaming like this. Remember this was nothing, not a date, not anything.

"So Edward, it's my understanding that you are here to take my daughter out?"

"Yes."

Look at him, he was the epitome of calm! Edward was handling himself so well under the Chief of Police's intimidating attitude. Maybe he had practice with the fathers of the other girls he had dated. Those girls, who own bigger boobs, dressed slutty, wore too much make-up and exuded sex appeal. Whereas I was the total opposite, I could never be that kind of girl.

"Where are you taking my daughter today?"

"Char-, dad, don't. Please."

"Bells," my father sharply glared in my direction and my mouth obediently shut.

Please let this be just a nightmare that I will wake up from any moment now. Oh, who am I kidding? This shit was actually happening because that's how things go in my fucked up life. Edward briefly looked at me and damn... his eyes are so green. They were an impressive, vivid color and I wanted to stare at them endlessly. I snapped out of my pondering at the sound of Edward's voice.

"Well, the library sir."

The library? Seriously? Well, in a way that makes sense. No wonder he suggested that I dress warm, libraries are freezing. But going to the library, on a Saturday? Was he fucking for real? Wait a second, the only clue that Edward gave was there was water where we were heading. Last time I checked there wasn't water in the library, unless you count the water fountain.

Charlie must have been thinking the very same thing as I did previously, because he questioned suspiciously, "The library?" His brow rose as he glared at Edward dead in the eye.

Oh shit, Charlie's wearing his "I know you're bullshitting me look." But Edward didn't falter, remaining collected, yet his eyes hinted his anxiousness. No apologies I extend to him would ever be enough. The guy just wanted to hang out and he was on trial for it. No wonder I decided not to date long ago and after today Edward will tell his friends what went down. Then word will spread around and I will be forever dateless.

"Ah, yes sir. I'm working on this history project and Bella kindly volunteered to help me on it."

I did? What project? We may not have the same period together, but I know for a fact there wasn't any project currently assigned. Oh, I get it, he's good. Damn, what an impeccable liar! I can't lie if my life depended on it. Charlie's browns trained on mine, asking me silently to confirm or deny what Edward said. Great, I was in the spotlight and direct on center stage. _You can do this Bella, you fucking wimp! It's just one little simple lie._

"Bells, is it true? Did you volunteer to help him with his project?"

I decided to play it safe and nod my head confidently. Edward smiled at me gratefully and I beamed to myself. Score one for Bella! _Yeah, yeah good for you._ _Don't be so excited just yet, Edward still needed to get through Charlie's interrogation. _An endless moment of silence passed which made the atmosphere of the room tense and uncomfortable. I started feeling nervous so I bounced my right leg up and down, hoping it would ease my out of control emotions. But of course, it didn't. So I stopped and decided to study my hands as if they were interesting to look at. Charlie cleared his throat in order to grab my attention and I whipped my head up, noticing his eyes were locked on Edward and I. He appeared heavy in contemplation as he cocked his head to the side.

My nerves were almost shot and I tried ignoring the frantic beating of my heart. I was fucking doomed, no, correction, we both were. Charlie wasn't buying Edward's bullshit story. Fuck, I hope I can distract Charlie somehow after he was finished, long enough to give Edward a chance to run before he shoots him. I stole a quick peek at Edward and he was matching Charlie's look, appearing unfazed by the whole thing. Damn, I give the guy credit for not letting Charlie intimidate him. Still, I will be forever embarrassed by this. I should consider becoming a nun, and then I wouldn't have to go through this crap every time a guy wanted to take me out. _Oh you don't have to __worry about that Swan, it's not like guys are__ lining up at the door waiting for their chance to date you._

All of a sudden I flinched in alarm upon hearing Charlie's deep laughs echo throughout the room. Did I miss something? Why was he laughing? What the hell was so-

"Why didn't you say that in the first place Bells when I asked ten minutes ago? Jesus." Charlie shook his head humorously and I threw him a puzzled, shocked expression.

Edward grinned at Charlie and the look of relief on his face was priceless. God he's so... incredibly fucking hot that's what. I have to get over him before I become too wrapped up in his beauty and charm. _Aren't you already?_

"I apologize for the misunderstanding Chief Swan." Christ, his voice is literally smooth as silk.

Charlie continued to chuckle as he replied, "Don't be Edward. It was Bella's fault, not yours."

What? My fault? All I did was agree to the stupid lie, not make it up! True, but his fucking lie saved both of your asses. I so owe Edward Cullen, again.

"Yeah, totally my fault." I agreed, humoring Charlie. "I was just, um nervous about asking and uh..." Seriously, I wasn't capable of forming a coherent sentence when Mr. Fucking Sexy over there was looking at me like that.

"Bell, it's alright. But next time just tell me, whatever it is." Charlie reprimanded and I nodded in agreement.

Charlie eyed us intently once more and leaned back in his chair. "Well, I should let you both get to it before the library closes."

Edward prepared to stand and I followed suit but Charlie's voice made us froze. "Though it's not a school night, Bella does have a curfew. So no later than eleven. Assuming you kids may go get something to eat later or anything."

Great, thanks dad, just push the idea on Edward that he has to take me out to dinner! And while on the subject, he was allowing me to be out for an entire afternoon and evening, with a guy? Who was this man and what had he done with my father? Damn, Edward's charms really did win him over. Or maybe he just wanted to get rid of me for a few hours. Charlie bitches from time to time how I never go out with friends or just go out somewhere every once in awhile.

"Not a problem Chief Swan, I'll most likely have her home before then." Edward reassured and flashed that charming grin of his.

God, I would give anything to kiss his mouth and suck on that jaw! _Snap out of it, snap out of it!_ Edward rose out of the couch and started walking over to the door. I hurriedly sprang off my seat, followed him, but ceased when Charlie spoke again.

"Wait, Bells. Let me give you some money for-"

"That won't be necessary Chief Swan, I got it covered." Edward cut in and cast Charlie a reassuring gaze.

"Of course you do Mr. Moneybags." Charlie mumbled quietly under his breath.

"Dad!" I hissed sternly, throwing him a furious stare.

Charlie inhaled and released out deeply. "Well, thank you Edward, that's very generous. So, see you later Bell. Don't have too much fun, you're supposed to be helping Edward with his project after all."

"I know dad." I replied in an exasperated voice. "See you later."

I waited for Edward to unlock the door and once he did, he held it open for me, waiting for me to exit first. Damn, the royal treatment, wow was he raised right. I walked out of the house first and Edward joined soon after, then Charlie shut the door after saying good-bye. We walked in silence as Edward directed us over to his fancy, pricey ass Volvo.

He turned his head, glancing at me from behind his shoulder and asked, "Alright, well...are you ready to go?"

I looked at him nervously as my mind processed his simple question. Ready? Anything but. I was about to spend an entire afternoon and part of the evening with him! Nothing prepared me for this. I never been more nervous during the short eighteen years of my existence. A part of my gut felt this could actually go well, while the other half felt it could end badly.

I had a sinking feeling that the second theory would prove to be right.

**~~~~BB~~~~**

**A/N: Yes, I know the dreaded cliffie. I will say there may be a couple of more of those in this story, lol. Don't kill me, jk. So yes, even though this chappie was easier to read I will warn right now, the next one may be a bit tough, possibly a tearjerker and will for sure shock you! I hope that won't discourage you and you will continue to stay on this journey with me. The next chapter you will learn more about Edward and I will just hint, prepare yourselves. Alright, I probably gave too much away, haa, so I am going to go for now. But before i do, thanks again so much for reading! And please leave a review, don't be shy. Reviews make us authors very happy and keeps us going! Also feel free to take a peek at the other stories on my profile. I'm on Twitter if you like to drop me a line, I love to chat, vampgirl792011. I'm also on facebook under Vampgirl79 Fanfiction. It's a cool page, I post story teasers, trivia, quotes of the day, even some Twilight stuff! Okay, I'm really going now, so see you at the next update. Which will hopefully be another week from now :) *Hugs, Leslie**


	3. Chapter 3: Revelations

**A/N: Hi darlings! Bet you're surprised to see an update huh? Well, I was itching to get this update to you! I was floored and humbled by all the responses I recieved over the last chapter and just for this story period. The hits have been climbing up, along with people adding it to their alerts and favorites. It means so very much :) I truly didn't think many would give this story a shot. So I thank all of you for reading, reviewing and all that good stuff! Anyhow I want to make this short and sweet, so let's get on with the chapter, talk to you more at the end. Oh and yes, a little warning, this chapter is a little drama heavy! :(**

**Disclaimer: **This story contains a sensitive subject and also has references of rape, alcohol, strong language and sexual situations. This is also a drama, not too angsty, romance story. I must warn one more time, if any of these themes may make you uncomfortable you probably shouldn't continue reading! This story is Rated M for obvious reasons.****

****It's still not mine but the incredible SM's! Hey, so who's excited for BD? Only 4 more days Twihards, woohoo!****

****My beta is the very pretty and super awesome SerenShadow, you seriously rock woman!****

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3: Revelations<strong>

_Well, here goes_. I thought, taking a deep, shaky breath.

I can't believe I agreed to this, what the fuck was I thinking?

Slowly and nervously, I walked over to Edward's car. _Jesus Christ Bella, you're acting like this is a death sentence or something! _I shook my head, ridding my inner commentary and watched as Edward unlocked the door.

That damn car of his represents him perfectly. It's sexy, flawless and beautiful, just like its owner. _Fucking shiny Volvo! _Pathetically enough, my rusty pick-up truck represents me just right. It's plain, nothing special to look at and lacks style. See, I'm no prize. So the same question remains; what the hell does Edward Cullen want with me? Why does he want anything to do with me? Guess I was about to find out.

A quiet but distinct chirp, chirp caught me off guard and I flinched, startled over whatever the sound was. I felt completely stupid when finding out that it was only the car alarm. I stood awkwardly in place as Edward gingerly brushed past me and opened the passenger side. I carefully climbed in, sitting down on the comfortable plush seat and glanced at Edward as he closed the door. Oh sweet Jesus, the car smells just like him; manly and sexy. I stole a quick inhale discreetly and will commit that delightful scent of his to memory. Lord I need help! My eyes never left him as he sauntered around the vehicle, opened the driver's side door and climbed in. _Stop staring at him or you will freak him the fuck out! Right._

Once Edward settled in his seat and placed the key inside the ignition, I blurted out, "Okay Edward, be straight with me. That was bullshit back in the house, right? Please tell me we aren't going to the library."

Edward chuckled, amusement written all over his handsome face as he turned his head to face me. I couldn't help but feel anxious again, his stares are always intense, like he tries to read my mind or something.

"No, I didn't have the library in mind for us to hangout. Unless..."

I shook my head in objection and snorted in distaste. _So lady__like Swan! _"Uh, no thanks. I do love books but the library isn't exactly where I'd like to go to on a Saturday."

Edward's brows furrowed in ponder as he leaned forward, leaving us only a couple of inches apart. Oh goddamn that cologne of his! It smells so fucking good; it just makes me want to kiss him, hard.

"So, where do you prefer to go on Saturdays? What do you like to do, Bella?" His moss eyes pierced mine and I reddened instantly from the attention.

I didn't miss his lips twitch as he tried to hide the smile that itched to break free. Great, what should I say? Wait, scratch that, the million dollar question is, should I answer him? He would surely think I'm a fucking loser once I inform him what I do with my weekends.

"Hey, don't be shy. You can tell me." Edward encouraged, his velvet voice causing shivers to glide up and down my spine.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't do anything special, really. I normally listen to music...a lot."

Edward grinned crookedly and I almost melted right into the seat. Good God, could he be any sexier? No wonder nearly every girl at Forks High practically falls at his feet! His appearance alone is mesmerizing and his personality is beyond charming. It even won over my own father! Charlie 'I am the law' Swan himself actually bought Edward's bullshit fib, hook, line and sinker! Sure, Edward might be able to win just about everyone over, but I plan to be a tough cookie to crumble. I refuse to become attached to him and allow his beauty and charm blind me. Today was just damn pure luck. He feels sympathetic about what happened to me last night and obligated to be nice just cause. That's it. Nothing more.

_Sure, keep being in denial Swan. Denial, denial! _Whatever, I can handle this. I will be strong!

"Sounds like the perfect way to spend a Saturday to me." his silky voice murmured, halting my train of thought.

His eyes locked directly on mine and my breath hitched as my heart pounded excitedly against my chest. _Get a damn grip, will you? There just a pair of__ fucking eyes! _Right, just a pair of the most impressive green eyes I've ever seen. I could get lost from the intensity of them. _You are hopeless Bella! What happened to remaining strong and not allowing him to win you over?_I think that ship has almost sailed. Damn him and his beautiful face, his smooth looking mouth and those eyes... _Wait, you forgot his jaw, take a hard good look at that chiseled, very lickable__,__ jaw! _Oh the things I want to do to him! Wait, what am I thinking? I have to snap out of it and the only way that's possible was to stare at anything else but him. The more I look at him, the deeper shit I will be in.

I sighed heavily and grudgingly bowed my head, then stared at my hands. There, much better, I'm back to myself again. It was as if those fucking eyes of his had put me under a spell! Now all I have to do is avoid looking at him at all costs. _Yeah, good luck with that Bella!_

"Ah Bella, still here with me?"

Quickly I glanced in his direction and nodded slowly. Perfect, he must think I'm a damn idiot for zoning out on him. This non-date was off to a fantastic start!

I cleared my throat and muttered, "Yeah, still here, sorry. I was um..."

"Is everything alright?" The concern in his voice tugged my heartstrings and I felt idiotic for my peculiar behavior.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just, um..."

_God, now you lost your ability to speak in complete sentences! You have to look at him sometime; don't just keep staring at your hands!_

I took a deep breath, raised my head and gazed at him. His eyes immediately trained to my face and again I was engrossed over those pools of green. I shook my head to clear it and set my focus on his nose. There, that should be a safe place to look at. Christ, he just has to own a fucking beautiful nose too! Is there anything about him that isn't perfect? Shit, now I realized why he was staring at me so intensely. He was waiting for me to finish what I was saying just moments ago. _Christ, he must think I'm a basket-case!_

"I was just...thinking about Char-, I mean, my dad. Sorry he was so hard on you back there." I turned my head and quickly glanced at the house. Well, that was a good start as any to break the awkward ice that I caused.

Edward chuckled and I whipped my to the left, looking at him curiously. He shrugged, leaning back in his seat and I groaned internally, unhappy that he put an end to our close proximity. I obsessed in my mind about his manly scent and how it made a certain place between my legs throb. I squeezed my legs together in hopes it would subside the pleasurable ache. This is bad, very bad. My body has never responded this way to any guy, ever. I never even felt like this for my favorite male movie actors. I have to calm down and get a better handle on myself! We haven't been alone for a solid fifteen minutes, so how am I going to get through the rest of the damn day? This is a disaster in the making!

"It's alright. He was just doing his job by being a protective father. I respect him for that. You're lucky to have a father who cares the way he does." Edward threw me a deliberate look and I rolled my eyes, snorting under my breath.

Oh good one, he probably thinks you're one of those typical bratty teenage daughters who have little respect for their parent. Well, I can't really argue with that.

"I wouldn't consider myself lucky Edward. He just puts on that act because he has to. He really doesn't give a shit about me, never has."

Oh shit, did I just say that aloud? I might as well dump out the rest of my resentful feelings for Charlie while I'm at it!

Edward clicked his seat-belt in place and rotated to face me. His eyes expressed his appall over my snide comment as he gazed deeply at me in wonder. I shrugged one shoulder, placing my seat-belt on as well and stared at my hands distractedly.

"Why would you say such a thing, Bella?" his smooth voice captured my attention and made my heart flutter rapidly. "I'm sure that's not true. The way the Chief behaved back in there clearly shows that he-"

"What? Loves me?" I interfered icily, training my eyes on his.

An irritated look crossed my face as the words escaped out of my throat before I had the chance to stop it. "You don't know anything about our relationship, so don't even bother pretending like you do."

The shocked and wounded look on Edward's face made my chest tighten in guilt. _Nice one Bella! You win the award for rudest bitch hands down! _I sighed heavily, turned to my right and reached for the door handle. Hurriedly, I removed the seat-belt and yanked the handle roughly. _This was a mista__ke!_ Just as my hand pushed the door ajar, it slammed back shut. I gasped and glanced down discovering that Edward's hand covered mine.

"No! Don't go...please. I'm sorry I upset you, I just-" He removed his hand from mine and my chest constricted over the loss of contact.

His hand was wonderfully soft, warm, and felt so right against mine. I exhaled sharply and twisted around to face him yet again. Edward was resting against the seat and had one hand curled over the steering wheel, while the other gripped the ends of that crazy hair of his. It should be my hand touching his beautiful hair. _Oh keep dreaming! Your ass is lucky he still wants to be around you after the way you behaved! __  
><em>_  
><em>_"_Dammit," he muttered in a quiet, remorseful voice. "I just wanted to spend the day with you, get to know you and I had to fuck it up by-"

"Hey, no! Don't blame yourself." I assured him and lightly touched the back of his hand.

Whoa, why did I just say that? _Remember the little promise you made to yourself? The __one where you won't under any circumstances get wrapped up in him? _Sure, I do but I have to admit I was at fault for this. There was no reason to snap at him like that when all he has been since last night was nice. Besides, Edward has no idea about my relationship with Charlie. So perhaps I should let my guard down. Maybe I should see where the day takes us and stop being so paranoid! Maybe, just maybe Edward Cullen genuinely wanted to spend time with me. _Wow, if you truly believe that, then you have truly__ lost your damn mind!_

I ignored my cynical thought and picked up from where I left off. "Look, you had no idea about where Charlie and I stand...Anyway, sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you."

Edward's gaze lingered on my hand and before long our eyes met again. After staring at the other for several moments, I broke the trance by looking away and unwillingly moved my hand from his. Already I longed to feel his skin against mine once more. This is crazy, I barely even know him, yet it feels like we're soul-mates or something. This shit has to end before it gets a hell of a lot worse!

"It's alright. Why don't we just forget about it, put it behind us and start over. If you like?" Edward suggested, throwing a pleading and hopeful look.

Oh he's good!

I sighed in defeat, very willing to surrender to this gorgeous, mysterious boy. "Sure, I'd like that. Charlie has been harassing my ass to get out of the house for weeks now anyway."

Oh Christ, why did I admit that? Wonderful, not only will he believe I'm the weird, emo, social outcast of the school, but that I'm a hermit as well! _Well, you do fit the role, you are abnormally pale. _All of a sudden the corners of Edward's mouth raised and his eyes shined in humor. Oh, so he finds that I said funny, does he?

"Bella, can I ask you something?" His question threw me completely off guard and my heart beat accelerated as the words sank in.

I inhaled softly and foolishly replied, "Uh, sure go ahead."

"Why do you call your father Charlie?"

_Because that's his name!_ I almost rudely answered and held the annoyance within to the best of my ability. I mean, for crying aloud out of all the other countless questions he could have asked, he chose to ask that one!

I frowned and exhaled soundly. "It's a long story." I pray to the God's above that he would take the hint and move on from the topic I really didn't care to broach.

Edward set his gaze on the windshield as an unreadable expression crossed his face. "Well, it's a good thing I'm not in a hurry; I have plenty of time to listen."

Oh, he isn't? Perfect, then why don't we utilize the endless amount of time he has by making out in the back seat of the car? _God Bella, you seriously need to get those hormones under control! _Besides_, _I refused to crack, no matter how gorgeous or nice he is. I will not open my heart to anyone, not even him! _Ha, who are you trying to fool Swan?_

"Well, sorry Edward, but I don't. So can we just get this show on the road?" I grumbled crisply. I partly wanted to kick the shit out of myself for acting so nasty again!

Edward sighed sorrowfully, directing his focus on the windshield again. "Alright, then."

He started the car and immediately the quiet humming of the engine filled the uneasy silence. I bit my lower lip irritably, turning my head and gazed out the window. The way things were going, it could be a really long afternoon.

"Uh, Bella?" Edward's velvety voice rang throughout my ears.

"Yes?"

"Seat-belt back on, please."

My cheeks turned a deep shade of red and I nodded stiffly, trying to appear casual; though on the inside I was a fucking nervous wreck. "Um, sure, right. Of course."

**~~~~BB~~~~**

Moments later we were out of the neighborhood and navigating along the lifeless streets of Forks. The quiet that lingered inside the car was a tad unsettling, so I decided to break it and asked him where we were heading.

"You'll find out soon enough." Edward answered vaguely.

I glowered agitatedly at him, "You are aware that you're taking me somewhere against my will, right?"

Edward shook his head and guffawed in disbelief. "No Bella that would be kidnapping. And I wouldn't consider this kidnapping since you agreed to it and are very willing to accompany me."

He smirked, his eyes shining in humor and I huffed while crossing my arms angrily. Shit, he made a good point. Nonetheless, I still don't understand why he just won't reveal the location and what we will be doing once we arrive there. What's with the fucking secrecy? I hate surprises and anyone who knows me knows that.

As if he had amazingly read my thoughts, Edward answered my silent questions. "If I share with you where we are going, you probably...wouldn't agree to it."

His expression tensed and his foot pressed harder on the gas causing the Volvo to move at a near dangerous speed. I held onto the armrest for dear life as Edward maneuvered the car like a Nascar driver through the remainder of Forks. I pondered over his cryptic reply carefully and the nerves crept back in as a couple of things came to light. For starters, I noticed that wherever we were heading wasn't in Forks, since we're about to pass city limits. And another thing, Edward was in a foul, tense mood and I have this strong feeling it might have something to do with the mystery place. I shouldn't have agreed to this, I have a terrible feeling about it. _You're being paranoid Bella, just chill! _Maybe, but I would feel somewhat at ease if 'speedy' slowed the damn car down!

"Edward, can you please slow down?" I asked in an imploring, gentle voice.

He stole a quick glance in my direction and his face wore an apologetic expression. "Sorry, I can be a lead-foot sometimes." He laughed and thankfully slowed the car's speed significantly.

I breathed a sigh of relief and glanced out the window, studying the scenery that passed by. This road seems familiar, I believe it's the same one Charlie uses when traveling to La Push. I haven't been over there in ages, since last summer when Charlie forced me to accompany him to a barbeque over at First Beach. Is that where we're going, First Beach? Well, it is beautiful there and slightly on the romantic side, especially at night when the stars are out and the bonfires are going. Okay, I'm royally confused. Edward has to provide me with some answers, now.

"Why me?" I twisted my head and glared evenly at him. He didn't meet my gaze and kept his eyes peeled on the road ahead. Is it just me or has he been acting strange over the past couple of minutes?

"What do you mean, Bella? You lost me." Edward replied innocently.

God, his face looked so intense and his jaw was tightly clenched. I would have thought it was sexy if I wasn't so perplexed by his behavior.

"Why did you...ask me out... on a date?" I blurted out, closing my mouth seconds too late.

_That was seriously a fucking stupid thing to say Bella! Prepare yourself for the ultimate humiliation in five, four, three, two..._

"You think this is a date?" Edward asked in a voice etched with surprise.

I wonder how badly injured my body would be if I jumped right out of the car? _Melodramatic much? Just play it cool Swan, you can recover from this blunder._

I shook my head repeatedly and waved my hand in the air dismissively. "No, of course not. I just...I figured that _**you**_ believed it may have-"

"Oh, I'm sorry Bella for giving you the wrong impression. This is just..." Edward paused and a pensive look crossed his face. "I mean, I wanted to hang out with you...only as friends. Does that sound alright to you?"

He flashed a warm smile and my fucking heart melted and wavered in response. Friends... Of course he wants to be just friends. Why would he want anything more with me? God, I'm a fucking moron!

I inhaled and threw him a nonchalant gaze. "Of course that's alright. Why wouldn't it be? I just wanted to clear it up with you, make sure we're on the same page. So I guess we are and..."

I was seriously, without a shadow of a doubt, the stupidest human being on the face of the earth! My cheeks couldn't get any hotter and at this rate it would be best if I look away. I felt those beautiful greens of his linger on the back of my head and I wanted to find a hole to crawl in. I struggled to keep my emotions in line but the damn waterworks had to arrive. They remained frozen in place over my eyes and stung like hell. I nibbled on my bottom lip anxiously, praying for the tears to not escape. _Take a deep breath Bella and relax or he will think that he offended you._ But he fucking did! God, I'm beyond confused. I thought I wanted nothing to do with him, but now I wasn't so sure.

"Bella, what's the matter? You got quiet all of a sudden." Edward murmured in a tone brimmed with concern and guilt. "Wait, does this we're just hanging out as friends thing actually bother you? If so, then maybe-"

"Nope, not at all. I'm cool." I interrupted, taking a deep breath and moved my head to glance at him.

Thank the lord I managed to control the tears and they were tucked away, for now. I swallowed thickly and figured a change of subject was in order. Besides there was something I have been itching to ask him.

"So, I'm curious, what were you doing over at Riley's party last night? I didn't know you were friends with him." I shuddered over the mere possibility. Edward's too perfect to be friends with the likes of my immature brother.

He smiled lopsidedly, glancing at me quickly and observed the road once again. "No, I'm not but my brother, Emmett is, remember?"

Oh, that's right, duh! How could have I forgotten that Riley and Emmett were in the same graduating class. This may sound messed up, but truthfully I hardly pay any attention when comes to my brother. He doesn't give a flying fuck about me, so why should I? Yet come to think of it, I do remember Emmett visiting the house a few times to chill with Riley, or pick him up to take him to some random party. From little I know of him, Emmett seems like a pretty alright dude. So why he associates himself with my loser ass brother is beyond me. I raised an eyebrow questioningly and pondered about the unknown reason why Edward was at my father's last night.

Once again, as if he had the ability to tap into my mind, Edward explained. "Em made me go with him because he was tired of seeing me _**mope**_ in my room." Edward sighed loudly, shaking his head over the memory.

My face expressed curiosity but a smirk creased on my lips. "You, mope? Why?"

Edward frowned and I noticed his hands clutched the steering wheel much too tightly. Awesome, I managed to ask the wrong question yet again! I'm batting a thousand today.

"It's nothing. Just that...Emmett has been pushing me to do things out of the house more... he thinks I should date again." His jaw tightened again and the gleam in his eyes hardened.

Wait a minute, so according to Emmett, Edward needed to socialize more? That was odd, Edward is the most popular guy on campus. I figured he was probably living it up every other night at parties or chilling with his group of stuck up friends. I never imagined him brooding inside his bedroom. Edward doesn't appear to be that type of guy. Then again, I haven't really paid all that much attention to him either until last night. Which goes to show that there's plenty I don't know about Edward Cullen. He's such a mystery, one that I wanted to unravel. _Oh no you don't! Remember, you vowed to not get too involved!_ It's too late; I'm already in way over my head.

"After ending things with Lauren, Em thinks I need to find someone else to get over her. The funny thing is I never was into her in the first place."

I snorted under my breath and rolled my eyes in slight disgust. Edward cast another look in my direction and his face showed his puzzlement over my reaction. _Well, since you opened that can of worms, can't back out now, speak up!_

"Then why did you date her? I mean...what did you see in her anyway?" _Oh Jesus, you have no filter, do you?_

I couldn't help it, curiosity always plagued me concerning the reason why Edward chose to date Lauren Mallory; out of all the other pretty decent girls at school, with the exception of Jessica Stanley, Lauren's wannabe twin, why her? Lauren is a parasite, a vicious bitch that gets her kicks in making every non popular student's life a living hell. See, I was one of her victims last year. Every opportunity she had to torture me, she used it to her full advantage, in various unforgettable ways mind you.

But, I survived and she moved on to torture some other poor girl. The latest rumor about her was that she has gotten worse in her bullying due to her and Edward's break-up. Talk about a woman scorned. Edward must be an amazing kisser and fucktastic in bed. _Too bad you will never find out._

Edward chuckled darkly and threw me an appreciative stare. "Wow, no one has ever asked me that. Everyone just seemed to focus more on the fact that her and I looked good together."

I had to hold back the laugh that itched to free. Was he for real? People actually thought that? Were they blind? Edward was clearly the beauty in that relationship and Lauren was, well the beast of course.

"I have no clue what I saw in her to be honest." Edward admitted in a low, hard voice while turning the steering wheel over to the right.

Yep, sure enough, just as I suspected, we were heading over to La Push. I gazed out the window, admiring the majestic scenery as we approached closer.

"Lauren is the most vain, immature, spoiled...brat I've ever met." Edward's icy tone of voice muttered, pulling me back to the present.

I looked at him bemusedly and laughed. "Brat?" I echoed teasingly.

Edward frowned, showing his disapproval over my teasing him. But I couldn't resist, it was sort of cute the way he refrained from saying what he was actually thinking.

"Fine...she's a _bitch_, happy? Lauren is a big, pain in the ass bitch."

"Yeah, I know firsthand." I muttered bitterly, glaring down at my lap.

My heart skipped several beats as Edward's finger gently lifted my chin and turned my face to meet his. "Listen Bella, I apologize about the shit Lauren put you through last year."

God, his voice is so fucking dreamy! Hold up, he actually cares about the hell Lauren put me through? I wanted to believe Edward's sympathies were real, but he had dated the cold, heartless bitch. Therefore in my book, he must have not minded the cruel way she treated others. I shrugged him off and reluctantly, Edward withdrew his finger off my chin. His expression was broken and I nearly apologized for my cold reaction. But my conscience reminded that I need to keep him at arms length and continue on shielding my heart.

"It's fine, I'm way over it." I mumbled in a pathetically soft and shaky voice. _Way to go, that will show him how over it you are!_

"Are you?" Edward challenged, calling me on my bullshit. Damn that beautiful messy haired ass!

"Yes, now can we just drop it?"

"Sure...no problem."

The quiet that ensued was downright uncomfortable, yet I was grateful for it. As it allowed me a chance to cool off and try to shove away the mortifying memories of Junior year into the far corner of my mind, where they belonged.

"So, what about you?" Edward's random question snapped me back to attention.

I wrinkled my brows together and a bewildered expression settled on my face. "What do you mean? What about me?"

Edward sighed and appeared lost in thought, considering what his next choice of words would be. I became more and more nervous as each agonizing second passed. What does he want to know?

"Well... are you seeing anyone? I mean... its bullshit what some are saying about you at school, right?"

He had a curious look in his eyes and I titled my head sideways as I pondered over his questions. I'm lost, what's he talking about? I'm aware most of the kids at school say shit about me, but I stopped trying to figure out what or care a long time ago. Honestly, I don't give a fuck, I know myself and that's all that matters. But now thanks to green eyes, I'm slightly interested in finding out what the latest gossip about me is. I'm positive I would regret asking this, but I'm masochistic, what can I say?

"I don't know Edward, what are they saying about me?"

Immediately Edward appeared uneasy over my inquiry and that didn't settle well with me at all. Damn, is it that bad?

"Nothing, it's nothing. Forget I brought it up. You know I was thinking that later we could go out to dinner and-"

"Oh, no you don't! You can't just open your big mouth and say that people have been saying shit about me then not say what it is! So spill Cullen, now!" I yelled angrily and Edward's mouth dropped wide open.

He looked like a deer that had been caught in the headlights and it would be humorous if I wasn't so fucking livid. I appreciate he was trying to spare my feelings, but he was the one who brought it up in the first place. So he was going to finish it.

Edward cleared his throat and fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat. I sighed heavily as my patience was wearing thin. "Edward, tell me."

He took a deep breath and said, "Some people think you are either a lesbian, an alcoholic, a drug addict, or all of the above." His lips tightly pursed as a furious look crossed his face.

Judging from his reaction it would be safe to believe he doesn't agree with the rumors. And dammit to hell, I was touched by it. _Never mind that, what about the garbage some people have been spreading about you? _I should find out who started it and kick their ass! What's wrong with people? Don't they have anything better to do then making other people's lives miserable? Well, I just had to ask him though, didn't I?

"So who spread that shit around about me? Was it Lauren, Jessica, maybe Angela-"

"Angela cares about you Bella! She wouldn't nor has ever said anything bad about you!" Edward reasoned, his expression revealing his disbelief.

What did he just say? How dare he! He has no fucking idea about what went down between Ang and I.

"No, she doesn't and where the hell do you get off-" I retorted but was rudely cut short.

"You're the one who shut her out of your life Bella! The same way you do with everyone else!"

"Fuck you!" I growled through clenched teeth, curling my hands into firm fists. I can't believe his nerve! He doesn't know a damn thing about me, what fucking right does he have judging me?

"Look Edward, you don't know shit about what happened with Angela! So fuck off..." I turned my head around, refusing to stare at his judgmental ass a second longer.

"You're right, I don't." Edward agreed, his voice serious and then it softened. "But I want to, if you let me. Don't shut me out Bella."

I shook my head fiercely and crossed my arms over my chest. "Why? Why do you...why are you wasting your time with me? Is it something you feel obligated to do because you feel sorry for me? I'm not some fucking charity case Edward! I'm a nobody... I'm invisible."

I closed my eyes and released a shaky breath. Then fought with all my might to keep the tears under control. I refuse to cry in front of him and look weak. Those asshole classmates of mine aren't worth my tears! God, I was doing just fine until Mr. I want to be your friend here turned my life upside down! I was content with being alone and bottled up in my protective invisible shell away from the outside world. It's where I felt mostly safe. All of a sudden the car stopped moving and I almost opened my eyes but feared of what I would see once they did. I heard the seat-belt unfasten and the leather seat groaning as Edward motioned towards me.

My breath caught as his body bridged the tiny space between us. "Bella, open your eyes." he instructed in such a gentle voice that made my toes curl.

His breath was warm as it blew over the side of my face and his silky fingers delicately caressed under my eyelids. Edward tenderly wiped away the single tear that slipped out of my right eye and I sighed breathlessly as his thumb stroked my skin softly. I longed to feel his touch forever, because sadly, no one else has ever shown me any kind of affection.

"Bella." he whispered against my cheek and unwillingly, my eyes opened. But I couldn't look at him, if I did I was positive I would fall apart.

However, Edward didn't give me a choice in the matter; forcing my body to face him and our eyes locked. My heart thundered against my ribs as his hands gently cupped the sides of my face. Why am I letting him touch me? I can't put my guard down, or allow him into my heart. I can't give him the chance to hurt me like others in the past had.

"Edward, please-"

"Bella, listen to me. What you said isn't true, you're not invisible. I see you, very clearly."

Goddammit, he just had to say that shit, didn't he? He sounds like he genuinely cares and that couldn't be possible because no way Edward Cullen cares about me, right?

I shook my head and lowered my eyes; Edward's melodic voice reeled me in. "You are not a nobody, when I look at you I see-"

"What? What do you see?" I pressed, nervously peeking at him from underneath my eyelashes.

"A beautiful, but lost soul." he replied wistfully and our gazes held for the longest of moments.

Wow, perhaps he has been paying attention to me all this time. I was just too stubborn and in my own world to notice. But then again, if he was so interested and wanted to build a friendship with me, why did he wait so long to approach me? _Maybe because you aren't exactly welcoming__,__ Swan!_

"Come on, there's something I want to show you." Edward whispered, breaking my intense train of thought.

Huh, show me what? I watched nervously as Edward unlocked the car doors and quickly exited. He slammed the door closed behind him and walked around, stopping when he reached the passenger side.

A short time passed and I followed Edward as he directed us towards the entrance of First Beach. My eyes squinted as the sun peeked out of the clouds and brightened the dreary tinted sky. A light breeze traveled through and I shivered inside my hoodie, instinctively embracing my middle. Edward ceased his speed walking; damn long legs of his helped him move faster, and turned around to face me.

"Are you cold? I think I have a spare jacket or blanket back in the-"

"No, I'm fine, thanks." I sighed frustratedly, wrinkling my nose in distaste. "The beach, really Edward? This was your 'big surprise'?"

_Way to make a guy feel good Swan!_

Edward appeared slightly hurt by my attitude, but it was quickly forgotten when a crooked grin planted on his lips. Oh, he just knows how to work that 'make me weak in knees smile' of his, doesn't he?

"Well, yeah. What's the problem, don't you like the beach?"

I shook my head in protest and jammed my hands inside the pockets of my jacket. "No. I hate the beach."

Edward glared at me like I had grown a second head and his face wore a disbelief look. Jesus, I always get this reaction every time I inform someone my dislike for the beach.

See, once upon a time, like most kids, I loved the beach. That was until I lived in Florida with Renee for a few short months, now I despise any beach and also the sun. She fucking ruined it, just like she fucked up a big portion of my life.

"You're serious? Who doesn't like the beach?" he asked incredulously with a glint of amusement in his eyes.

Alright, I take back all of the harsh feelings I harbored toward the sun. Thank you God for creating it, because the sun is Edward's best friend. It made him look even more beautiful if that were possible. The rays accentuated the red tint in Edward's bronze hair and brightened his deep green eyes. It was a sight to behold for sure. He was a breathtaking, angelic and much too idyllic being compared to myself. As far as I was concerned, we were on opposite ends of the spectrum. I was dark, and he was light.

I shook my head to rid my brain's excessive thoughts and muttered coolly. "I do. So can we just get this over with and go anywhere else after?"

Edward laughed. "You make it sound like I'm torturing you."

"Almost." I joked dryly with a halfhearted smile.

He smiled wide and I nearly fainted right in the sand. I swear Edward Cullen was going to be the death of me.

"Just follow me."

I pouted, huffing under my breath but surrendered and followed right behind Edward. Okay, I have to confess the view here was astounding. The beach appeared picturesque, like straight out of a painting, with its sparkling blue-gray water and beautiful cliffs that surrounded it. Still, a part of me didn't want to be here. I wished we went anywhere else and for some odd reason, I had unsettling feelings about this place. _Oh quit being so suspicious, it's just a damn beach!_ Yeah, a beach... where romantic things could happen. I can just envision Edward and I sprawled on a large blanket, cuddling as we stared at the ocean.

"Bella?"

Crap, he caught me zoning out again! God how embarrassing, this seriously has to be the most awkward non-date ever!

"Uh, yeah?"

"Just thought I'd warn you, be careful as we climb up here, alright?"

Huh, what's he talking about? Climbing what...

"Whoa! There's no fucking way I'm going up there! Are you out of your damn mind? That's a cliff you know!" I reprimanded, training my eyes on the intimidating yet majestic cliffs.

Edward's expression was grim and his eyes were cold and distant. "Yes, I know. Just follow me Bella, please."

I should have asked him why but I didn't, instead stupidly pursuing right behind him. A couple of minutes passed and we were standing near the edge of cliff and I wanted to run for dear life. Yet, I couldn't because the scenery before my eyes was utterly fascinating. I watched the waves starting to pick up in intensity and crashed against the rocks. I took a deep inhale, reveling over the salty, clean air. Granted, I wasn't a forecaster but it was safe to assume a storm was coming, based on how the sky darkened suddenly. I stared at the sea once more and trembled over the lovely but haunting sight. The waves were battering against the lines of the cliffs, spraying massive white clouds of sea foam into the sky.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Edward whispered, breaking the silence.

He took a few careful steps, ceasing just at the very edge of the cliff. My breath hitched and heart almost stopped beating as fear gripped my insides. Was he trying to give me a heart attack? What the fuck was he doing, was he insane?

"Edward, move back! Don't take another step!"

He laughed humorlessly, stealing a look at me from behind his shoulder. "It's okay Bella. I know what I'm doing."

I gazed at him incredulously with my mouth slightly hung open. "Oh, you do? And what exactly would that be? You want to go for a swim? Great, do it down there where it's safe and..."

What was I, his mother? No, but shit since she wasn't around, someone has to talk some sense into his crazy ass!

"Who knew such a beautiful place could be so dangerous?" Edward whispered, lowering his head and gazed at the ocean below.

What? He lost me again. I swear this guy has done nothing but confuse me over the last half hour or so! But, he did make a valid point. These cliffs are dangerous, all the more reason why I have to get him out of harms way.

"You remember my sister Alice, right?"

I blinked at him in wonder and processed his unexpected question briefly. Of course I remember he had a twin sister. Well, I heard he had one, but she died in tragic accident just before I moved back last year. I wasn't sure whether to answer him because I didn't understand where he was leading with this.

However, the curiosity overpowered my uncertainty, causing me to utter out, "Uh yes, I knew of her and heard the story about how she-"

"Accidentally drowned here, right?" Edward chuckled bitterly and his expression had an eerie appearance to it.

A shiver coursed over my spine and suddenly, my body temperature drastically dropped. To say I was feeling uneasy would be an understatement. Not to be cruel but this subject wasn't something I felt comfortable discussing. But I'm a moron and have foot in the mouth disease, which prompted me to say, "Um, yeah that's what Charlie told me... Edward, I'm really sorry about Alice...you must miss her and-"

"That's not what happened!" Edward interrupted, turning around and looking intently into my eyes.

My heart sank the instant I noticed the pained and lost glint in his eyes. Tentatively, I took a step towards him but stopped when he shook his head in protest.

"You need to hear the truth about what happened to her." The truth? There was more? And why would he want me to know about it over anyone else?

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I don't understand-"

"Bella, Alice committed suicide. She took her own life...right here on his very spot."

A gasp escaped out my mouth and the wetness that pooled over Edward's eyes confirmed what he had confessed to be true.

As his words sank in, time had literally froze.

**~~~~BB~~~~**

**A/N: I know, another cliffie! *runs and hides* Forgive me? lol. I won't lie, there will be a few of these with this story and also LOTS more drama is ahead. But after the next chapter, it will get a little lighter ;) So, I'm sure that was a lot to take in right? I did warn you our beloved Edward has his own issues too :( It was extremely hard for me to have to kill Alice off, even though she will never make an appearance. I love the Alice character, but well my imagination works the way it does... So, you guys also learned more about Bella and some of the crap she has went through since being back in Forks, poor girl. I feel for both of them and as I warned, this is only the beginning!**

**Alright, enough with the spoilers, hee. I hope you enjoyed the chappie though! If so, please leave me some review loving. I appreciate all of them and respond to each one! I'm sure you are wondering right about now, when's the next update? I have chapter 4 prewritten and about ready to go, so hopefully by next week it will be posted. I am going to try my hardest to post this tale every week. But I cant guarantee that, real life can be hectic and all. Plus I'm writing two other stories, which I highly encourage you to take a look at if you haven't! Okay, guess that's it for now. Make sure to add me on Twitter: vampgirl792011, I really do love meeting fellow Twihards and making new friends! Also feel free to like my FB page, vampgirl79 fanfiction. I post chapter spoilers, songs of the day, quotes of the day and lots more! Till next time, thank you so very much for reading! Looking forward to hearing from you, xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4: Intervention

**A/N: Hi my lovelies, Happy Monday or Tuesday depending which part of the world you live in ;) Hope all of you had a great long weekend! Anyway, sorry for the little wait on the update but you know with the holiday and life being busy, blah, blah. Thanks for your patience everyone and I hope this will be worth the wait. I will warn, this one is pretty drama heavy and heart-breaking... Alright, quickly I just want to give my usual thank you's to all of you for reading, reviewing, adding this story to your alerts and favs. It really touches my heart! Okay, now on to reading...**

**Disclaimer: ****This story contains a sensitive subject, has references of rape, alcohol, strong language and sexual situations. This is also a drama, not too angsty, romance story. I must warn one more time if any of these themes may make you uncomfortable you probably shouldn't continue reading! This story is also Rated M for a reason! **Warning for this particular chapter: There is mentioning of drug use.**

**It's not mine as you already know by now, haa. But the wonderful SM's, who would probably be ****mortified with my use of her characters, lol :)**

**My beta is the kick-ass SerenShadow, who is always so kind and encouraging to me regarding my silly boo-boos. Thanks a million as always!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4: Intervention<strong>

The silence that filled between us was thick and solemn. I felt like I was in a dream or an alternate universe, because what Edward confessed couldn't possibly be true. Yet after hearing the sounds of the ocean crashing against the rocks, I was reminded that this moment was indeed very real. I concentrated on the peaceful noises while struggling with the shocking revelation Edward shared. It was downright impossible to comprehend.

Alice Cullen committed suicide...right here on the same exact place where we're standing.

A chill crawled over my spine and I embraced myself tightly, trying to warm my now cool body. Jesus, poor Edward and his family. My mind was racing with several different thoughts but only a couple stood out above the rest. Why was I told a different story about Alice's death? Why did the students at school say she drowned, when actually she took... her own life? Many more questions plagued my brain and I desperately wanted to ask them to Edward. But it wasn't the appropriate time. He was lost in his memories, grieving and heart-broken after revealing the truth about his sister's death.

I wanted to comfort him, but I was at a loss for words and honestly what is there to say at a moment like this? I sighed quietly and carefully approached him again. Then placed my left hand over his shoulder and said the two words that seemed fitting. "I'm sorry. So sorry Edward."

He nodded stiffly, stole a quick glance in my direction and stared back at the churning sea once again. "I miss her every single moment of everyday. Alice is always on my mind, whether something would trigger a memory about her or just...I wonder if she's at peace wherever she is."

I wanted to express my sympathies and console him as his words broke my heart in half. But feared I would say the wrong thing. Truthfully, I have no earthly idea what Edward deals with on a daily basis, yet I hoped that by my listening, it would help ease some of his pain. A pool of wetness clung in the back of my eyes as I continued absorbing everything he told. All of a sudden Riley came to mind, sure him and I have zero in common, aren't close and we don't get along. But if he died, it would devastate me; after all he is my brother. But, would he give a damn if anything tragic were to happen to me? I shook my head, pushing aside those morbid thoughts. Now wasn't the time and thankfully Edward's voice pulled me back to the present.

"Alice was not only my sister but was also my best friend. The one person I could turn to for anything. She understood me like no one else and I knew her better than anyone. The twin connection I suppose." Edward's deep greens lit up for the briefest of seconds and I couldn't help but admire their beauty.

He smirked and shook his head slowly as a reflective expression crossed his face. "She was also a pain in my ass and damn well knew it. But still, I loved her... so damn much."

Edward took a step over to the side and my hand lowered down in the process. I watched intently as he glared at the water below with a hard expression and tears swimming in his eyes. Once again my heart ripped, shattering in several pieces and I was puzzled about how I literally felt his agony. As if Edward and I have a connection... _No, that's insane, get your head out of the clouds Swan! _The clearing of his throat captured my attention and I observed him attentively. The glare in his eyes that revealed his suffering and sorrow would forever haunt my mind. God, I wish that I had the damn guts to just embrace him and assure him that he will be alright. Because I have all the faith he would be; he isn't a lost cause like I am.

"Bella, there's something else..."

More? What more could he possibly say? Okay, now I'm starting to get a bit freaked out!

"Alice wasn't the only one who came here to..." Edward turned and directly eyed me. I pondered over his cryptic words and wracked my brain frantically, trying to figure out their meaning.

Just as I drew to the horrifying conclusion of what he meant, Edward explained, "A few days after her death I came here to...I planned on..."

"Oh my god Edward! No, you didn't, you wouldn't..." My heart soared to the middle of my throat as I waited anxiously for him to confirm my fear.

"Yes, I did Bella. I almost...jumped. I almost foolishly and selfishly ended my life. But then..."

My entire insides numbed and my chest constricted so tightly I had to catch my breath. After collecting myself I whispered hoarsely, "Then what? What happened?"

Edward's eyes lowered and an uncertain look etched on his face. "You might not believe me if I tell you. I still think to this day that maybe it was a figment of my imagination and I had momentarily lost my mind."

Now he certainly captured my interest and also confused me greatly, nothing new there. I threw him an assuring gaze and smiled gently. "It's okay Edward, you can tell me." I walked the steps needed to stand closer to him and squeezed his shoulder.

Edward nodded and focused his gaze back to the dark tinted ocean. "I was so close...just at the very edge right here." His voice trembled, lowering after each word and my heart crumbled yet again.

Granted, I know little about him but watching him mourn like this was gut-wrenching. I felt his pain deep in my soul and that was alarming. I shouldn't bear such a strong link with a person I'm just getting to know. So, then why am I? Edward rubbed his face repeatedly with his hands and exhaled a shaky breath. He took a step back and I frowned when my hand dropped again like before. The loss of connection was almost unbearable and it was royally confusing me. However, I didn't have the chance to analyze my whirlwind emotions because Edward proceeded where he left off.

"I was just about to jump when I heard her voice."

Perplexed, I was about to question him when Edward whispered, "Alice. She talked to me... and I even saw her standing right beside me."

Edward glanced over in my direction and the second he read my expression, he appeared embarrassed. "You don't believe me, I understand. I realize it sounds completely insane, but I'm telling you the truth Bella. Alice saved my life that morning and stopped me from making the biggest mistake of my life. Though I wish I was there that day when she... I could have prevented it. Her death is all on me, it was my..."

"No! Don't say that!" I pleaded, cutting him off mid-sentence and his eyes slightly widened over my reaction. I had to at least try and reason with him, make him see that his sister's tragic, untimely death was not his doing. "That's not true, it wasn't your fault Ed-"

"Yes it was Bella! It was _**my fault, **_also my brothers, my mother's and especially my father's! We all played a role in it... we are all to blame. Alice tried everything she could to get our attention, to make us listen and notice what was wrong with her. But none of us listened, or spotted the fucking signs! We didn't care enough to make the effort; we were all too busy with our own damn lives. So don't fucking say that it wasn't my fault! You weren't there, so what the hell do you know?"

His cold and bitter tone of voice, along with his verbal attack made me flinch. I stepped aside, leaving us a short distance apart and his infuriated eyes landed on my face. The pain and anger rolled off him in massive waves, his body incredibly rigid and his hands balled into fists by his sides. Though I was partly upset over the way Edward talked to me, it took a backseat compared to the sadness my heart felt. He's grieving and obviously deals with an enormous amount of guilt on a day to day basis. I can't fathom what that must be like. I wasn't sure what to say next, since nearly every word that spilled out of my mouth was wrong. After all, he was right, I have no clue about the suffering that he and his family face.

I inhaled slowly and jammed my hands inside my hoodie pockets. "You're right; I don't know anything about what you and your family have been going through. I'm sorry Edward, truly am for upsetting you...but, I have a feeling Alice wouldn't want you to wallow in self-pity over her loss. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself. According to you she rescued you that day, right? And she was the reason why you didn't go through with it... so, what did she tell you right before you, you know..."

_Whoa,__ what happened to leaving him alone and not say another word regarding this subject?_ I truly hope what I just said won't set Edward off and he instead realizes that I only said it to help.

Edward's face softened and remorse was written in his eyes. He breathed out heavily and ran his fingers through his hair. "She begged me to not do it, pointed out my selfishness and reminded me that I have so much to live for."

He laughed bitterly, shaking his head over the memory. "Alice didn't hold back, saying that I was an idiot and made me promise to keep living for her. She also reminded how much I much I am loved and about the potential I have..." his voice started to crack and my heart sank when I noticed tears slipping out of his eyes.

"But she had plenty of reasons to live and had so much love to give. She made everyone in her life happy, the world was a better, complete place with her in it. I wish I had said those things to her, paid better attention, discovered the signs...and saved her in time..."

Edward turned his back to me and his shoulders slumped as he freed a gut-wrenching sob. It was beyond devastating to witness his torment. He doesn't deserve to deal with such sadness and loss at his age. _Well then if you feel that way, don't just __keep standing there, hug him and comfort him for God-sakes! _I want to, believe me, but the questions on my mind were weighing heavily on my mind. Why did he bring me here just to reveal the truth about Alice's death, and why does he want me to know about it? My head ached from all this over-analyzing and really now wasn't the time to dwell over these things, Edward needed a friend.

Tentatively I sauntered toward him, his eyes never left mine as I pulled his body towards mine and embraced him tightly. God, he feels so perfect, warm and unbelievably soft. Oh sweet Jesus does he smell amazing too! I helped myself and discreetly inhaled his beautiful scent. My eyes automatically slipped closed as electrifying sensations invaded my insides and warmed my heart. I wish I could hold him like this for as long as humanly possible, but obviously that isn't possible, so I'll happily take what I can get. My hand rubbed Edward's back soothingly and it was a struggle to keep the tears at bay while he cried quietly into my shoulder.

I felt beyond sympathetic to him; this was truly gut-wrenching to witness. During these silent, gloomy moments I learned that I was way off about my judgment towards Edward. I figured like most of the Forks High student body, that he was pretty content with his life and popularity. Yet sadly, he faces this unbearable pain and loss everyday. Appearances can be very deceiving for sure. I was pulled back to the present when Edward's deep sobs reduced to quiet sniffing. I squeezed his back tenderly and tiptoed my feet in order to whisper inside his ear, "I'm sorry Edward. For your loss, about what happened with Alice..."

He nodded slowly and squeezed me back gently. Oh good gracious, he feels too good, I never want to him let go. "I appreciate it Bella but I'm the one who owes you an apology. I was harsh and completely out of line before. You were only trying to help and I snapped."

To my dismay, Edward gingerly pulled away from our tender embrace. No, I have to feel him again, those biceps of his curled around my body was nothing short of blissful. His eyes locked with mine and instantly my heart skipped several beats. Christ, I was so done for! Those seas of greens were sucking me in, but his voice interrupted the almost trance.

"Thank you Bella."

His words threw me for a loop and I eyed him in wonder, furrowing my brows. "For what? I haven't done anything besides upset you."

I swear this beautiful guy was so perplexing!

Edward shook his head in disagreement. "That's not true, contrary to your belief you have done more for me over these last few minutes than anyone else has in a long time. You listened, showed that you genuinely cared and most importantly, didn't pass judgment."

I threw him an incredulous expression. The possibility that I did that all for him was baffling.

Edward apparently caught my look because he smiled reassuringly and added, "And you also called me out and put me in my place."

I blushed, chuckled nervously and chewed my lower lip thoughtfully. "You're... welcome. Wow, I didn't realize I...uh, it was no problem, really. Glad I helped in some way."

I glanced down at my feet and shuffled them awkwardly, anxious about what I'm about to ask. But there's no other choice, the curiosity was killing me, I need to know what Edward's reasons were for bringing me here.

"So, I don't mean to be rude but... I have to ask, why did you bring me here and share the truth about Alice? Why, Edward?" I was too nervous to look at him straight in the face, so I kept my gaze on my shoes.

I knew he was staring at me and patiently waited until I made make eye-contact with him. A bundle of nerves made itself home in the pit of my stomach as I pondered over what he was going to say next. Edward inhaled sharply and my breath hitched as his feet moved just an inch, closing the tiny space between us. Dammit, why does my stupid body have to react to him every single time we nearly connect? My heart raced faster than a Grey-hound and my lower regions burned with desire. I realize it's an inappropriate time to feel this way, but truthfully, I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to make him feel better with my lips and touch.

But above all that, I just wanted to hold him again; I wanted to be the girl he deserved. _Whoa, where are these thoughts coming from? Remember, you promised to not get involved and now you're in way over your head! Seriously these fantasies of yours, are just that, they will never come true! He just sees you as a person to vent to, that's it! _I sighed internally, trying not to dwell over my negative thoughts, even though they were correct.

"You remind me of her Bella." Edward's creamy voice caught me off guard and my eyes slightly widened as his words sank in.

What did he just say? I remind him of his deceased sister, how?

I raised my head and glared him square in his eyes. Edward immediately read my confused expression and elaborated further. "Granted, both of you are very different, in most ways worlds different. But you are the very thing that Alice was as well..."

Alright, once again he managed to render me lost!

I swallowed thickly and felt a bewildered expression crease on my face. "And that is?"

"Lost." he whispered without hesitation.

I blinked at him innocently, shaking my head. "Edward, I don't know what you're talking about-"

Before I was able to react, Edward reached across, grabbing a hold of my jacket sleeves and pushed them up. I stared at him in appall as he seized my arms and turned them around. Oh my god, no, he can't see them!

"Hey! What do you think you're_** fucking doing**_?" I yelled and tried to wiggle free from his firm grasp as his fingers tightened around my skin.

Who the hell does he think he is touching me like that?

My eyes narrowed sharply and my cheeks flamed as anger clenched my chest firmly. All of a sudden, things were starting to make a whole a lot of sense. Edward's hands gingerly loosened my wrists and his eyes locked on the visible cuts that were etched on my skin. Jesus Christ, how did I let this happen? Now he sees the pain I inflict on myself, the evidence clear as fucking day right in front of him! What should I say for the reason why those scars are present? What if Edward threatens to spill to Charlie? Then Charlie will think I'm a suicidal nut-job and will admit me in a mental hospital in no time! _Shit, think fast Swan!_

I exhaled shakily and strained to keep my voice steady and firm. "It's not what you think. I'm a major klutz in the kitchen, Charlie always lectures me about it-"

"You seriously expect me to buy that bull-shit, Bella?" Edward asked, his tone hard and skeptical.

I don't believe this asshole!

I took a few steps back and angrily pulled down my sleeves. "I don't give a shit what you buy! I don't owe you an explanation, my life, my business!"

"You're right, it's none of my business, but it's certainly your father's!"

Edward walked slowly and carefully towards me, halting when I threw him a warning glare. Instantly, his expression fell and his eyes brimmed with utter sadness. "There's another way. You don't have to resort to doing that to yourself, Bella."

He gestured his head towards my arms and I crossed them defensively over my chest. I can't believe this is happening! Since when did the tables turn and the spotlight was on me? We were discussing Alice, and I was helping him with his heartache. Idiotically, I started to believe that Edward wanted to be friends and we were heading in that direction. This entire afternoon was confusing and I didn't understand most of it, until now. My eyes are wide open and things are finally crystal clear.

I raised my brow and cast him a stern, accusing gaze. "How did you figure it out? About my wrists?"

I wasn't particularly fond of where this conversation was heading because things were about to take an ugly turn, fast. Just when I foolishly thought we were connecting, I was proved wrong. Edward had an ulterior motive for inviting me to spend the day with him. I'm aware of what that is and I wanted him to confirm my suspicion.

"Bella, listen to me, I may have went about this the wrong way, but I really want to hel-"

"How did you know about my cutting? How Edward?"

He sighed deeply and appeared almost embarrassed as he murmured, "Last night...um, after the party ended and everyone left, I went inside your room to check on you..."

Wait, what? I was sure I locked the damn door! What is he a lock-picker?

"I just went and peeked my head inside. I noticed your arm was over your face and I saw them but wasn't sure. So I looked closer and-"

"You what? What the hell Edward! You saved me from that perverted asshole who intruded in my room and yet you did the very same thing? How did you get in anyway? I know I locked that door-"

"No, you didn't." Edward corrected, his voice low and sheepish.

I don't believe him!

I shook my head furiously. "Are you kidding me? I can't believe you just entered my room without my permission, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

My raised voice blended with the sounds of the howling wind that passed through. A storm was coming and I don't mean the weather.

Edward stared at me in disbelief and threw his hands up in the air. "What's wrong with _**me**_? Fine, you are right about one thing, I probably shouldn't have entered your room like that-"

"_**Probably**_?"

"But, I'm not the one cutting myself!"

That was a low blow. My chest tightened painfully, as if he had sucker-punched it, over his true but hurtful words. _Oh cut the crap, be real for a second Swan, you're just mad because someone finally figured you out and called you on it!_ Maybe, but it was still a shitty thing for him to say! Not to mention he snuck in my room without my knowledge and invited me to spend time with him just so he could give me an intervention! Screw that, and him!

My eyes flashed vehemently as I growled through clenched teeth, "Go to hell Cullen, just... fuck off!"

_Yep, you just proved his point right there! _I spun on my heels and proceeded to stalk away, only to be stopped before moving any further. I glanced behind my shoulder and noticed Edward's hand curled around my elbow. Damn it to hell, as furious as I was, his touch still does things to me that are undeniable.

"Take your hand off me!" I threatened coolly, struggling with ignoring my body's reactions to him.

"Bella, please...I apologize. It's not what you think. I truly do want to help you, just let me in. Let me be here for you."

He makes it sound so easy, and goddamn me for wanting to believe his words.

I huffed loudly and whirled around to confront him. "Oh, but it is what I think Cullen. God, I'm so fucking stupid!"

"You aren't, please let me explain-"

"No, I'm talking! So let me see if I understand this correctly, this whole 'I want to be friends deal' was bull-shit and all about you feeling sorry for me! You feel compelled to help the poor emo chick, is that it?"

Edward shook his head in protest and an appealing, wounded expression crossed his face. "No, you have it all wrong! I genuinely want to be your friend and it isn't because I feel sorry for you. It's because I'm concerned about you. I don't want... you heading down the same road Alice did. She also... cut herself. But I didn't find out until it was too late."

My eyes widened as I processed what Edward just said. Jesus, so Alice cut herself too? My thoughts came to a screeching halt the instant a realization hit and dumped on me like a pile of bricks. "Oh my god, so that's what this whole thing is actually about? You think I plan to... that I want to end my life? I'm not Alice, Edward! I'm not... you don't know me or have any fucking idea why I do that, so just mind your damn business! I don't need your help, understand?"

"I can't do that Bella, sorry. I'm already involved and won't let you shut me out-"

I tried to pay no mind to the intense anguish in his eyes, but my heart just had to fucking crumble over the sight.

Then I recalled what he last voiced and it drove me to lash out, "You won't let me? Are you listening to yourself? Who appointed you as my damn protector?"

Edward exhaled heavily and shook his head in bemusement. "I'm not sure...maybe this is Alice's doing. Maybe she's pushing us together so we can be there for each other-"

Seriously, he's trying to convince me with a straight face that his dead sister is putting some kinda magic on us from where ever she is?

"You're the one who needs help, not me! I'm not the one who tried to jump off a cliff, remember?"

_That was truly fucked up Swan!_

"And you think what you do isn't life threatening?" Edward sarcastically shot back.

I unfolded my arms, dropped them to my sides and curled my hands into fists. What do I have to say for him to get it? I'm not suicidal, right? No, he was way out of line and has no idea he's talking about! It was going to be a long walk home, but better that than dealing with his bull-shit a second longer! The icing on the cake was Edward comparing me to Alice, which was frankly, insulting. Don't misunderstand, I feel awful about Alice taking her own life, but I'm nothing like her. I am not lost and certainly not self-destructive. _Denial, denial!_

Forget it; I have to get as far away from Edward Cullen as possible. I wanted to go back home and pretend this afternoon never happened. But there's just one thing I want answered before I leave.

"I don't get it, Edward. Why do you care what I do with my life?" I whispered and set my eyes directly on his.

A sullen, pained look set on Edward's beautiful face. "Because I refuse to lose another person I care for."

Huh? He cares about me, since when?

I stared at him in pure disbelief as he tentatively inched his face closer to mine and said in a soft, wistful voice, "Bella..."

His soulful eyes trained deeply on mine while resting his hand affectionately on my cheek. My breath caught and my heartbeat increased as every cell within ignited to life. No, no! I can't go on like this anymore. He was perfect in so many ways, even though he's utterly tortured. And I'm no good for him and probably never will be. Besides, I can't be blinded any further by his looks and questionable kindness. I refuse to open my heart and allow any one in, not even him. _You are truly blind, don't you see how much he genuinely cares?_

I ignored my conscience and walked a few steps back. "This is too much...I can't do this with you...just leave me alone."

I turned around and sprinted away, heading towards the beach. The sounds of Edward's footsteps caught my attention, but I continued on my pursuit.

"Bella, stop, please! I'm sorry, just give me a chance to make this right."

I tried to pay him no mind and continued running, forcing my legs to take me further away. An irritable groan escaped out of my throat as light drizzle attacked my body and prevented me from seeing clearly. Perfect timing, damn weather!

"Bella, wait, please!" Edward implored, clutching a firm hold of my elbow and stopped me in place.

I was this close in surrendering to him and listen to what he had to say. But the anger overruled that want, so I shrugged him off roughly and walked briskly. "Leave me alone Edward! I have nothing to say to you and there's nothing you can say that will-"

Suddenly my body slammed hard against a rock solid one and I yelped in alarm. I looked up and into the darkest brown eyes. I blinked in wonder and took a step back to assess the person I literally walked right into. Jesus, how humiliating, I should have paid better attention! Well, it was all messy hair's fault for distracting me!

I shook my head and mumbled breathlessly, "I am so sorry! I, uh..."

The abnormally tall guy laughed in amusement and tilted his head back as his shoulders quaked. His eyes gleamed in humor and a bright smile creased his mouth. God, he looks really familiar! I know him from somewhere...damn, what's his name?

"Same old Bells. You sure haven't changed one bit."

I threw him a confused look and studied his face intently. He was handsome with russet colored skin that looked incredibly smooth. His cropped black hair completed his appearance nicely, and damn I won't lie, he has one toned figure! Unexpectedly, a flash of memory reminded me who he is and I laughed in relief.

"Jacob? Jacob Black?"

"The one and only."

I smiled and shook my head in disbelief. Of all the times to run into an old family friend, life was full of surprises. "Wow, uh, hey. How are you? It's been what... almost a year since I seen you last? Geez, did you hit another growth spurt? Damn, Jake!"

Jake laughed at my teasing and the smile on his face was golden. Wow, Jacob Black. He stirs up so many memories of when I was younger.

"No, it's just been a long time since your tiny ass has paid me a visit. It's great to see you Bell!"

Just as he was about to reel me in for a hug, his posture tensed. I glared at him confusedly and slight panic as Jake's once happy expression switched to a livid one. His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed as he stared at something behind me. Or rather, some one.

As I put two and two together, figuring out who Jake was throwing the evil eye to, he spoke. "Can we help you?"

I sighed agitatedly and whirled around, facing the person Jake greeted. Edward. Dammit, I'd almost forgotten about him. Edward eyed him briefly then set his eyes on mine. Jacob detected our silent exchange and a furious look etched on his face.

"Wait, is he the reason why you ran straight into me, Bella? Is this guy bothering you?"

Before I had the chance to answer, Jake acted as a shield and blocked his body in front of mine. He cast Edward a threatening gaze, but Edward wasn't fazed in the slightest. Or at least, he didn't show it. I bet all of my personal belongings that Edward was a little frightened of Jake. I mean, anyone would be, the guy's massive height alone was astounding! What do these La Push boys eat? I nervously watched and waited for World War III as the two immersed in their macho stare down. Though I was still pretty pissed at Edward, I didn't care to watch a fight ensue with them. So I better smooth things out before it was too late.

I stood beside Jake and placed my hand over his forearm. "It's okay Jake, don't worry about it."

Immediately, he glared at me with a doubtful gleam in his eyes. "Really? There's nothing for me to be concerned about, huh? Because from where I'm standing, things don't appear 'okay'. You look upset and shaken up Bella, and I have a feeling pretty boy over there is the reason-"

"This is none of damn concern!" Edward growled as a furious expression settled on his face.

Oh shit, this doesn't look good! _No crap Swan, great job by the way in smoothing things out._

Jake guffawed and shook his head, clearly amused by Edward's attitude. "Ooo, I'm shaking in my shorts! Wanna play mama's boy? Come on, I'll even allow you to take the first swing!"

Swiftly and in seconds flat, Jake closed the distance between him and Edward. Holy shit, Jake's at least a good four inches taller and Edward's a pretty damn tall guy! _Never mind that, do something, stop them before it escalates even more!_

"Jake, stop! What are you doing? He wasn't bothering me. We had a... misunderstanding, that's it."

Jacob glared at Edward long and hard then shifted his gaze over to my face. He didn't appear at all convinced by my explanation, so I exhaled and once again tried to reassure him. "I'm being straight with you Jake. He didn't hurt me, I swear, I'm alright."

Well, that was partly true. Physically I'm fine, but emotionally I'm not, thanks to Edward and the unexpected intervention he gave me. Yet, even that doesn't matter now because I'm finished with Edward Cullen, for good. _Yeah, right!_

"Yes, what she said. It was only a misunderstanding. Now if you'll excuse us, Bella please, come with me." Edward offered and fixed those damn heart-melting eyes of his on mine.

They were pleading with me and I almost surrendered to him. But then I remembered all that went down and the feelings of resentment and embarrassment clouded my better judgment.

I glanced at Jake who was throwing Edward the stink eye and I muttered, "Hey Jake, would you mind taking me back home? Edward and I are done here."

_Hope you know what__ you're doing! _Instantly Edward's face expressed disbelief and my damn stomach just had to twist over the sight.

"Bella, don't do this. You have to understand that I was only trying to help and be the friend that you need."

God, why does his eyes capture my heart every single time I gaze into them? I shook my head and cleared the deep spell I was nearly under. _Oh quit lying to yourself, you have been smitten with him ever since he rescued your ass last night!_

"Oh I do understand Edward and see things very clearly. Thanks for the wake up call! And for the last time I'm no longer in need of your saving or care to be friends with you."

My fucking chest tightened as he looked wounded and taken aback by my reply. It was difficult to ignore him, but I did and glanced at Jake again. "Can you give me a ride home, please?"

"Sure Bells, of course." Jake didn't waste a damn second and smirked at Edward. The smug expression on his face clearly read 'I got her and you didn't'.

Jesus, I wasn't a fucking prize to be won! What is it with guys and their fucking macho need to claim what they believe is theirs?

I sighed irritably, pulling on Jacob's massive forearm and leading him away. "Lose the grin Jake, you're just taking me home."

Jake nodded humorously and the smug grin remained on lips. "Sure, sure, whatever you say Bells."

We only walked a few steps, then I was pulled back and turned around to face Edward. Christ, he doesn't give up, does he? Why won't he just leave me alone? I groaned through clenched teeth and gestured my hands in mid-air. "What now, Edward?"

"Hey, back off! Take your fucking hands off her!" Jake snarled, wedging himself between us and glared at Edward icily.

Jake's face was an alarming shade of red and his nostrils were flared as well. Odd, I don't recall him having such a short-fuze, what gives? All of this hostility wasn't necessary, I didn't ask for this. I just wanted a ride home. Edward dismissed Jake, yet his eyes expressed his anger over Jake's temper.

"Bella, may I have a word with you?"

Jake shook his head indignantly and yelled, "You don't know how to take a hint, do you asshole?"

My eyes widened as Jake's large hands curled into fists and I knew it was time to react quickly, because it was obvious what his next move would be. I eyed Jacob from behind my shoulder, placed my hand firmly on his chest and prevented him from taking another step.

"Jake, come on, stop!"

"But Bells,"

"I mean it, enough! Or I'll walk my ass home!" I flashed him a stern look and he surrendered with a confused expression on his face.

"It's alright Jake, I will talk to Edward for a moment and be right back, okay?" _God Bella, what the hell are you doing?_

Jake stared deep into my eyes and appeared hesitant. "Are you sure?"

Edward huffed loudly and I glared at him sharply, silently warning him to keep his mouth closed. I swear it feels like I'm their mother the way I'm refereeing them!

"Yes, its fine. Just give us a second."

Jake frowned, displaying his blatant disapproval and stalked away. I didn't miss how he intentionally hovered close by, probably to eavesdrop. I exhaled deeply, rolled my eyes and glared at Edward. "Look, whatever you're planning to say is not going to make me change my mind, so-"

"I'm aware of that, but I'm hoping I will. Bella, please. I'm... begging you, stay with me. Let me explain, I didn't mean to offend you-"

"Whether it was intentional or not, the fact of the matter is, you did. And honestly as I said before, I have nothing more to say to you." I crossed my arms over my chest and pursed my lips in a tight, thin line.

I tried to appear angry but deep down, other emotions overruled it. I was heart-broken for him and concerned about the way Alice's death affects him. Yet, my stubborn, immature side fixated more on the negative. Edward seriously over-stepped when he implied I was suicidal and gave in his two cents about my cutting. I was used to everyone not giving a damn about me and I simply refuse to let the first person in my heart just because they supposedly "care". Even if Edward actually did, I just can't... trust him. _You know in your heart that he does feel something for you, don't be stupid, give him a chance!_

"I won't let you leave with him Bella, I don't trust him." Edward murmured in that fucking silky voice.

The dumb teenage girl part of me melted and swooned over his protective ways. But, unfortunately for Edward, I allowed my temper to get the best of me. "Excuse me? Who are you, my father? And who are you to say you don't trust him? You don't even know him!"

Edward nodded, agreeing and the solemn expression on his face made me feel like the shittiest person on Earth. I was doing the right thing. I would be poison in his life and that's the last thing he needs. He deserves better.

"You're right, I don't know him. But I know who you are Bella." He leaned forward and placed the back of his fingers against my cheek.

His skin caressing mine was breathtaking and I wanted to feel more of him. _Back to reality Bella, snap out of it! You can't allow him to get to you anymore._

I closed my eyes, shook my head slowly and reopened my lids. Then stared at him with a detached look and said flatly, "No, you don't Edward and you never will."

The pain and sadness in his jades marked my soul, but I found the will to turn around and walk away. It was beyond difficult to keep looking straight ahead and not run back to him. But it was necessary; I made the right choice for the both of us. Edward wanted to save me and I don't care to be. Besides I wasn't in the position to do the same for him. Someday he might see that and hopefully understand.

**~~~~BB~~~~**

The car ride on the way home with Jacob was in one word, long. God, I figured a fine ass looking guy like him would be remotely interesting. But almost every word uttered out of his mouth was completely mediocre. If it wasn't about sports, he babbled on and on about cars or his buddies from school. Does he actually think I give a shit? Alright, to be fair, Jacob is a nice guy. However, there's little chemistry between us as far I was concerned. He on the other hand, well, thought differently. He has eye-fucking down to a science, shamelessly ogling my body ever since we entered inside his car. It wasn't surprising, he's a teenage boy after all, so it only makes sense his hormones are on over-drive.

Anyway, Jake was just the distraction that I needed. I didn't want to think about Edward, his sister and all the drama that happened during our outing. I particularly didn't care to recap the actual reason why he wanted to spend the afternoon with me. God, I need to get Edward Cullen out my mind and system, fast. Thankfully, Jake might be able to help with that. _Yeah sure, as if you could fo__rget about Edward sex-on-legs Cullen! _I ignored my annoying inner commentary and thought about how I didn't want to return back home just yet. The last thing I needed to deal with was facing Charlie after my disastrous day with Edward, so I asked Jake to take us to the park. There was a small one only a few streets away from Charlie's that I enjoyed visiting every once in awhile. It was the perfect place to take a walk on the trails when the weather was nice.

Jake saw our visiting the park as an opportunity to make out, or engage in some sex. But I made it abundantly clear several times that we were only there to chill and that's it. Surprisingly, Jake respected my wishes; he wasn't a creep like that bastard who violated me last night. So we just hung out in the playground and chatted about random things. Due to the dreary weather we were the only ones present and it was great to have the park to ourselves. After we behaved like a couple of six year olds, using the slide, swing and monkey bars, we camped out underneath an ancient oak tree. The shade made the temperature much cooler and I shivered under my hoodie.

Jake chuckled in amusement and shook his head. "Wimp."

I scowled at him irritably and eyed his attire, bewilderingly. For god-sakes the boy was wearing a t-shirt and cut off shorts in early March! Was he insane? It was wet and chilly out here and he was dressed as if he lived in Florida!

"Aren't you freezing?" I asked through chattering teeth.

He grinned proudly and his brown eyes sparkled. "Nah, I'm really warm-blooded."

I cocked an eyebrow at him speculatively and he explained, "I'm used to the weather here, born and raised here after all."

"Oh right, well good for you." I grumbled sourly. Jake laughed again and patted his legs as an offer for me to sit on his lap. Oh he's clever! What a dog, I'm onto his tricks!

"Come on Bell, have a seat. I'll keep you warm."

I flashed him a glare that interpreted 'I don't trust you' and immediately Jake's expression was innocent. "Hey, I'm trying to be a gentleman here. I don't have a jacket to offer but I have the next best thing...my body heat. Now get over here and stop being stubborn."

I sighed and after giving it more thought, relented because he did bring up a good point. Besides, I would be an idiot to refuse an invitation to sit on a really good-looking guys lap. Sure, Jake's a bit boring but he was sweet, funny and nice enough company. But he wasn't Edward. Honestly, I rather sit on Edward's lap any given day. Oh dammit to hell, I have to quit thinking about him! We are over; then again, we never even started. Tentatively I made myself comfortable on Jake's lap and discovered how huge this guy's body was! I don't think seventeen year olds are supposed to own such a toned figure.

Light sprinkles of rain landed on our heads and I groaned in aggravation. "We should probably leave soon-"

"Oh it's just a little rain Bella, besides..." Jake dug his hand inside his pocket and pulled out what looked like a thick rolled up paper.

I wasn't an expert by any means but I have a strong suspicion as to what that is. "Uh, Jake..."

"Do you mind? I've wanted to smoke this shit all afternoon."

I watched in disbelief as he lit up the joint and helped himself to a deep, long inhale. The instant Jake caught the expression on my face he smirked and removed it out of his mouth. "Oh how rude of me, sorry. You wanna hit?"

He placed the blunt inches away from my face and I shook my head furiously. "No I don't Jake, get that nasty shit away from me!"

Jake snorted, tilting his head back and broke into a fit of laughter. I glowered at him testily and snapped, "What's so funny?"

"You are! I should have known the Chief's daughter was a goody two-shoes and wouldn't break the law."

Oh no he didn't! That abnormally sized ass! No one, judges me, I'll show him!

"Give me that!" I growled, trying to snatch the joint off his fingers.

Jake laughed again and gestured his hand around in every direction, preventing me from stealing it. Jerk!

"What's the magic word?" he taunted as I repeatedly tried to grab it out of his hand.

I seriously shouldn't do what I'm about to, hell I shouldn't even be here with him!

"Fuck off." I answered and Jake chuckled.

He shrugged and eagerly passed me the pot with a grin on his face. "Works for me."

It took awhile to build up the nerve to even put it in my mouth, and once I finally did I nearly coughed out my fucking lung. Jake didn't appear concerned over my reaction, just found it amusing more than anything else. I didn't like it at all, so after inhaling it the second time I handed it back to him. Of course Jake teased me mercilessly about it and I pouted, pretending I was hurt by his kidding around. I guess he thought that was cute because next thing I realize his lips were on mine. I can't admit that I didn't like the kiss, because I did. Sadly, he was my first real one and I decided to go along for the ride since it felt damn good.

As our mouths and tongues tangled wildly I yearned for another guy's lips instead, Edward's. I forced myself to stop obsessing about him and instead succumb to the heat of the moment. Everything started to spiral out-of-control; Jake's body was pressed against mine and my back dug in the damp grass. His hands explored my upper body, with my permission of course, and I liked how warm and strong they felt. We made out heavily for what seemed like hours. I allowed him to fondle my breasts with my bra still on and even gave the okay for him to grope between my thighs. Outside my jeans of course. I wasn't ready to go all the way and certainly not with him.

Thankfully Jake was alright with that, though the big bulge inside his shorts indicated his desire for more. After a while, I grew curious so I touched his hard erection and then somehow Jake managed to talk me into giving him a blow-job. Granted, I had watched a few porn movies in the past so I knew the basics. But, it was still intimidating and nerve-wracking especially because he was pretty huge! Just as I was about to wrap my lips over his length, Edward popped in my mind and that killed the mood completely. Jake was less than thrilled when I abruptly stopped and even more after informing him I wasn't feeling well. I don't think he bought my lame ass excuse but couldn't find it in me to give a shit. I just wanted to go home and lock myself up in my room.

The moment Jake dropped me off and I entered inside the house, Charlie was on my case like white-on-rice. The string of questions flew out of his mouth and amazingly I managed to dodge them by feeding him the same lie I used on Jake. I didn't give Charlie the chance to question it, just ran upstairs and retreated inside my room. Never was I more glad to be in here. What a day it had been, I was still struggling to wrap my head around it.

After removing my damp clothes, changing into my pajamas and freshened up in the bathroom, I crawled under the warm blankets. Then made myself comfortable and decided to turn in for the night. Yeah, some teenager I was, going to bed after eight o'clock on a Saturday night. I was such a loser, also tired, and very hungry as well. My stomach was begging for a meal but I ignored it, having every intention of staying put. As fatigued as I was physically, my mind was a whole other story. It raced with thoughts of only Edward and it was driving me insane!

A recognizable buzzing noise startled me and my head whipped to the right, my eyes searching for the culprit of the sound. It came from my cell and I was positive that an incoming text message arrived. I sighed and reached over to retrieve my phone. The instant I read the message, guilt invaded my heart. One new text from an unfamiliar number, but it was sent by a very familiar name.

**Bella, I just wanted to know if you're ok and made it home safe. You can just text me back with a simple yes. ~Edward**

I frowned agitatedly and for the longest five minutes of my life I stared at that stupid text. And re-read it numerous times to the point I have it memorized. Finally, I caved and replied back, answering just as he requested with a simple yes. Then I silenced my phone and wondered about how Edward managed to get my number. Maybe he asked Riley or even Angela, she still has it, I think. All I know for sure is tomorrow's the start of another mundane day in my life and I intend on keeping it that way. No Jake, no Edward, no complications. The moment my eyes closed, the dark abyss instantly welcomed me. And for the first time in a long time I dreamt...

I dreamt about Edward Cullen.

**~~~~BB~~~~**

**A/N: Hi, *****peeks out to see if coast is clear* I have a feeling some of you want to throw some objects right about now. Hopefully not at me but at Bella, haa. I was aware as soon as I finished writing this chapter, probably most of you wouldn't be happy with her and rightfully so. But please, please remember she has had it rough. Not as rough as Edward but still she has major trust issues. She doesn't know how to love based on how she was raised. I'm not excusing her behavior to Edward but just trying to get you all to see it from mine and her perspective. But anyway, I know you all might also be flipping out about the Jacob thing. Please don't! He will NOT be a problem, this is still very much a Bella and Edward story. Believe me, things will get very steamy between them, more than it did with her and Jake. I gave something away but oh well, haa.**

**The sparks between them won't happen for a while yet and also loves, this story isn't going to be very lemony :( But believe me some will happen :) As for Edward, sigh, I also realize not all was revealed about Alice, her death and more. But it will be! All of you will understand more very soon. My heart is breaking for poor Edward, not only because of Alice but me being the writer I know whats going on in his head and also I know the rest of his story, hee. But so will all of you soon! So yeah, I'm sure this was a tough read, but please have faith in me and don't give up on the story! Alright, I have yacked enough so I guess this is the time where I kindly ask that you leave a review. I'm ready, I think *holds breath* lol. Again I want to thank ALL of you for the wonderful reviews, for reading, for favoring and all that good stuff. It really does drive me to continue! Okay, don't forget to add me on Twitter: vampgirl792011 and on FB vampgirl79 fanfiction. Love to chat with my readers :) Till next time, I already have half of chap 5 done. So hopefully in another week or so it will be ready. Hang tight! Xoxxo, Leslie**


	5. Chapter 5: Conflicted

**A/N: Hi lovelies! Hope all of you are well and the holidays are good for you ;) Sorry this update took a little while. But I'm sure you understand with the holidays and life itself is keeping me busy! Plus, as you will see, this chappie is long! It took quite a while to write and also I changed a little here in there a few times, I am very picky with my writing, lol. So I hope the lengthy chapter will make up for the wait. All right, I want to warn this one, in my opinion is pretty drama heavy and a bit dark. Okay, on ward with reading :)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, bleh, but SM's! However, the Breaking Dawn Score will hopefully be for Christmas :) The music on this soundtrack is beautiful!**

*****This story contains a sensitive subject, has references of rape, alcohol, strong language and sexual situations. This is also a drama, not too angsty, romance story. I must warn one more time if any of these themes may make you uncomfortable you probably shouldn't continue reading! This story is also Rated M for a reason!**

*****My beta is the beautiful and thoughtful SerenShadow. Just received a Christmas card from her today which really made my week, thanks dear! And for your fab beta work :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5: Conflicted<strong>

The moment I woke up the next morning I knew it was going to be a shitty day. For starters, I felt ill to my damn stomach, and add to that the back of my head felt like it was going to explode. I couldn't figure out for the life of me why my body was experiencing these symptoms, until my stomach growled angrily. Then it registered that I hadn't eaten a single thing in over 24 hours. _Perfect, what__ a way to take care of yourself, Swan! _I figured sleeping for a little longer would help me feel better. Perhaps not to brightest idea, but in my defense the bed was so comfortable and inviting with my body tucked in under the soft covers. Unfortunately, my fucking racing brain and my damn stomach had other plans in mind for me. God, it's Sunday for fucks sakes and I can't even sleep in!

I wrestled with the sheets, tossed and turned repeatedly for what seemed like hours, then gave up. I leaned forward, yawned deeply and stretched my arms out in mid-air. Oh that feels good; the muscles pulling from the neck below and radiating all the way to my toes. After stretching for a few minutes, I sighed and stole a quick glance at the window. The sun struggled to filter in through the curtains and I could tell without even checking that it was one of those cloudy, rainy days Forks was well-known for. I ran a hand through my tangled hair and frowned. Well, suppose I should start my day and get it over with. Wait, what was I thinking? I wanted the hours to drag on for as long as possible.

Because it's Sunday, which means school is tomorrow. _Lovely, thanks for the reminder dear brain of mine!_ My stomach rumbled again, begging to be fed immediately. I really wasn't hungry and just wasn't in the mood to eat. Besides, if I go downstairs to fix myself something, I would have to face Charlie. Luckily, I managed to dodge him and his questions last night. But I was sure that luck wouldn't be on my side today, so I think I'll stay put for now where it's safe. I took a deep breath, tossed aside the covers and slid out of bed. Just as my bare-feet touched the cool hardwood floor, a red flashing light caught my eye. Curious, I picked up my cell where it rested on top of the night-stand and stared at the screen. The first thing I noticed was the time, it was fifteen minutes after twelve. Huh, weird, it seems more like nine in the morning to me. I'm still so exhausted, even though I slept over ten hours. Shit, I bet Charlie's livid, he doesn't approve of my sleeping habits.

Speaking of, I'm surprised he hasn't knocked on the door yet to wake my ass up, odd. I shrugged, focused on my phone again and found out the cause behind the blinking red light. A bright, white lettered message on the screen indicated that I received two new voice-mails and three text messages. What? Are those seriously for me? Whoever it was must have contacted the wrong number. I rarely receive any calls or texts. Puzzled I navigated through the menu and decided to view the texts first. The first was from Jacob.

**_Hey Bells. Had a great time last night. Like to see you again, what are you doing today?_**

_Not seeing you. _I thought sarcastically, sighing irritably and shaking my head. _Well, this was your fault,__ you're the one who caused this damn dilemma! If you had just stayed with Edward, then you wouldn't have to worry about some over-grown boy crushing on you!_

Edward.

A flood of emotions attacked my insides from the mere mention of him. My mind involuntarily replayed the events that unfolded yesterday. First, things were off to a rocky start, then just when they slightly improved...bam! Edward shared with me the truth about his sister's death. All in all, the entire afternoon was a disaster. Not that I expected it to be perfect by any means; after all it wasn't a date. It was a goddamn intervention instead! Edward bull-shitted me and didn't take me out to only spend the day as friends. He had a plan in mind; to accuse me of being suicidal, question me about my cutting and then compare me to his deceased sister! The more I think about it, I realize that Edward is just like all the others in that good for nothing school. _You don't really believe that! Deep down you know he truly cares for you and because he does, he offered his help._

Well, guess what? I don't need his help and I don't want to be saved. My life was just fine until he entered it! _Have you forgotten he saved you from_- No, I haven't and I will always be grateful for it. But that's as far as it will go. There's no Edward and I, friendship or otherwise. It's over, I have to cut him completely out of my life. _Just like you do with everyone else! _Well, well speaking of Edward, the second text was from him. I held my breath as my eyes absorbed the words on the screen.

_**Bella, I understand you're upset with me. But I just want to know if you will give me a chance to explain. I like to talk to you. Text or call, E**_

The message was from a couple of hours ago; Jesus, I wonder if he's been waiting by his phone or checking every five minutes to see if I replied. A part of me was tempted to text him back, hell even call just so I could hear that melodic voice of his. But, my fucking pride and anger overruled and prompted me to ignore him. So I decided to read the third text. It was from Jake again, and apparently he was horny based on the message's sexual innuendo. Fucking guys, always thinking with their dicks! _Again, whose fault was this? You willingly kissed and fooled around with him, remember__? _Yeah, I do and damn I wish I could take it back. Though it was exciting and felt good, there was only one man I wanted to do those intimate things with. And he has green eyes, beautiful bronze hair and the fullest lips my eyes ever set on.

Christ, I have to stop thinking about him! _Right, good luck with that. _I groaned loudly and contemplated over whether to listen to the messages on my voice-mail. Before changing my mind, I pressed the listen icon and waited in anticipation. A slight pang of guilt plagued my heart when Jake's voice spoke in my ear. Damn, the boy is relentless, isn't he? I knew it was truly fucked up to dismiss him and especially Edward, but I can't deal with either of them right now. And that's exactly why I hate relationships of any kind. There's just too much drama and emotions involved and I'm the worst at handling either one. I have my parents (such fantastic role models they are) to thank for that. Anyhow, I should break it to Jacob that what happened last night was only a one time deal. Poor guy, it's not his fault I'm such a cold, fucked up person.

Hopefully in time, he will forget about me, move on to someone else and won't give me a second thought, everyone else doesn't. After deleting Jake's message, Edward's creamy voice filled my ears and instantly my heart warmed. Goddamn him for getting underneath my skin!

"Hi Bella... it's Edward. I texted you earlier this morning, not sure if you received it or not so figured I would call you."

I couldn't bring myself to hang up on his voice or erase the message, because my pathetic self was hung up on his every word. God, I'm hopeless!

Edward exhaled into my ear and I imagined him running a hand through his hair in frustration. That shiny, perfect looking hair of his.

"God, I hate talking to these damn things." he muttered agitatedly and sighed once more. "Listen Bella, for what it's worth I'm deeply sorry for offending you yesterday. I imagine you had something else entirely in mind when I asked you to spend the day with me."

_No shit dude!_ I agreed in my mind while chewing my lower lip nervously and picking at the material of my pajama bottoms.

"But...there was a reason, a purpose for what I did. I really don't want to discuss this over a voice-mail, so please call me, or text. I just want to know if you're all right. If I don't hear from you in the next hour or so, I'm going to drop by. I'm sure the Chief would like that." his voice was playful during the last few words spoken and I narrowed my eyes furiously.

He just had to use the Chief Swan card, didn't he? Hold up, was he actually serious about coming over if I don't respond back? Shit! Panic built up in my chest as my eyes checked the time on the alarm clock; it was just past 12:30. Alright, so then what time did Cullen call? I listened to the remainder of the message to find out. Edward begged me to give him a chance, to talk with him in person and suggested we could start things over. _Not likely green eyes, sorry. _After finding out Edward called about a half an hour ago, I breathed a sigh of relief. But then I remembered what he warned he would do if I didn't call him back. Angry, I tossed my cell and thankfully it landed on one of the pillows instead of the hard floor.

I folded my arms over my chest and glared evenly at the phone for a good solid five minutes. _Wow, behaving childish much? Just call him__, you know you're itching to hear__ h__is voice again!_ No, I can't, if I do I would be putty in his hands, surrender to him and do whatever he asked. So, texting him back was the best idea. _Chicken shit! _I took a deep, shaky breath, reached for the phone and slid out the keypad. Finding Edward's number under the missed calls list, I chose the text option and typed quickly with shaky fingers.

_**I'm fine, see you at school tomorrow. ~B**_

I hit send before deciding otherwise and lingered over what I wrote. _I'm fine, see you at school__ tomorrow, seriously Bella? Could you be any more vague? You should have said this instead: Sorry for acting like such a suspicious, snappy bitch Edward. I know you were only trying to help because you care. _I snorted bitterly and rolled my eyes. Care, a four letter word that most people love to throw around and never honor the meaning of. _Jesus, could you be any more cynical? _I inhaled sharply, pushed myself off the bed and set down my phone on the nightstand. As I turned on my heel to leave the room, a recognizable rock tune echoed throughout the space. Why am I not surprised, of course he would answer back! I groaned under my breath, grabbed my cell and read the latest text.

_**Thanks for letting me know Bella, I was getting worried. And yes, I'll see you tomorrow. ~E**_

I swallowed thickly and struggled to brush aside the remorse that attacked my heart. _Just call him and listen to what he has to say! _No, there's no point to! Besides, I have to remember that I'm doing him a favor. It's in his best interest to not be any more involved with a fuck up such as myself. He already has plenty to deal with. _Don't you get it Bella, you two can help each other! Be each __other's__ solace and together fight the demons you face daily. _No, I always face things alone and that's the way it will remain... A noisy growl caught me off guard, reminding me that I still hadn't eaten. At this point, I didn't give a damn about facing Charlie, I was famished.

Just when I swung the bedroom door wide open, my phone alerted me of another incoming text. My heart hammered anxiously against my ribs the second I read four simple words.

_**I want to see you. ~ E**_

Dammit to hell! What am I going to do? A big part of me longed to see him; to inhale his heavenly scent, gaze into his captivating greens and feel his soft fingers brush across my cheek. But my idiotic, stubborn pride wouldn't have it and influenced my decision. So I replied back in one word: No. My chest constricted after I pressed send and set the phone on vibrate. There, no more interruptions. _What was the point in doing that Swan? You're bound to see him tomorrow in school, you have two classes with him, remember? _Well, I'll just avoid him. And besides, our assigned seats are nowhere near each other, so that's in my favor. _You can't dodge the inevitable forever you know... _I tuned out my inner commentary, left the room and climbed down the stairs.

The moment my feet touched the last step I discovered the house was oddly quiet and lacked activity. It appeared that I was on my own. Oh thank God! I glanced around the vacant living room and walked over to the window. Then pulled back the curtain and noticed that Charlie's police cruiser, along with Riley's shitty ass sports car, was nowhere in sight. To say I was relieved would be an understatement. I haven't had a Sunday alone in this house in far too long. Most weekends I have to lock myself up in my room in order to have some peace. This was going to be nice; roam freely around the house and do as I please without having to pick up after with two men. As I pondered about what I wanted to eat, a yellow piece of paper taped on the fridge door caught my eye.

Classic Charlie, leaving a note right on the damn refrigerator! I rolled my eyes, grabbed the sheet of paper and quickly scanned it.

_Bells,_

_I tried to wake you but you were down for the count._

I snorted and shook my head, if that was his attempt at humor then he shouldn't quit his day job. I looked at the paper again and picked up where I left off.

_I'm over at Harry's for the day. So if you need me, you can reach me over there._

I snorted irritably when reading the next few lines.

_By the way, Jacob and Edward called for you. Well aren't you the popular one today? We will talk about it when I get home. I should be back by dinner and Riley is over at the Cullens, I believe. See you later._

I sighed, crumbled up the paper and threw it away in the trash. Of course Riley would be over at Edward's and it's also just my fucking luck that Edward and Jake called the house line too! Fuck my life! Whatever, I refuse to waste my time thinking about them. I have better things to do. _Yeah, like what? _I'll think of something, but first things first, lunch. I threw together a quick but decent meal, making an omelet, some turkey bacon and toast. It filled me up for the most part, but the headache remained present and also the nausea. Once I finished cleaning things up in the kitchen, I swallowed a couple of Tylenol's and then pulled out a bottle of ginger ale from the fridge.

I poured some into a glass and headed back upstairs, figuring a shower was just what I needed to feel better. Minutes passed and I was relaxing under the medium-hot water and reveling over how wonderful the water felt gliding down my skin. I applied my favorite body wash and closed my eyes, unwinding more from the comfort the water provided. All of a sudden, a familiar velvet voice caught me off guard and I jumped in alarm.

"Bella."

"Edward?" I opened my eyes and blinked confusingly as I took in the sight before me.

That's impossible, isn't it? I must be seeing things, because there's no way that Edward Cullen was standing inside the shower completely... naked. Oh Holy Mother of God, what a visually stunning body the man has on him! My mouth dropped wide open and my eyes scanned Edward's torso from the head down, lingering moments too long on his thick and long groin. A wave of intense desire invaded my center and I moaned softly as the pleasurable feelings consumed me.

"No, this isn't possible..." I whispered, shaking my head in disbelief.

Edward chuckled and slowly walked towards me. "Yes Bella, it is very possible. You're not imagining this, I'm right here."

_Holy shit!_ I gulped, trying to get past the shock I'm harboring. All right, maybe this is real. Edward's in the shower with me and he's also very naked. But, how did he get in here? The front door to the house is locked, I'm sure of it and...

"Shh, don't over-think this. Just come and take what is yours." Edward murmured in a lust etched voice.

My thighs quivered in response and wetness seeped out of my now throbbing entrance. I stared at him bewildered, still unsure whether to believe he was here and that this was happening.

"I can't... I mean, this isn't...you aren't real. I'm just seeing things-"

"No, you aren't. Touch me." Edward invited huskily.

Oh dear God, I may have an imploding orgasm before he even kisses me! I'm such a damn virgin!

Tentatively, I reached out and placed my shaky hand over his flawless sculpted chest. I sighed breathlessly, admiring his soft skin and the light hairs on his lower stomach which directly leads to... My eyes had a mind of their own and landed on his member again. I sucked in my bottom lip between my teeth while studying every glorious inch of it and became more aroused by the second. I think I momentarily lost my mind and allowed the infamous teen hormones overpower my common sense because I wanted him, bad. Much more than I should.

"I want you too Bella. I never wanted another woman so much in my life." Edward whispered into my neck and pressed his lips lightly against my skin.

"Oh god, Edward..." I murmured lustfully and leaned my head back to grant him better access. Whoa, hold up here, what's he a mind reader? How the hell did he know what I was thinking?

"Bella, I need you please. Let me make love to you." he murmured over my collarbone and his smooth hands gently cupped my breasts.

I whimpered lustfully and my eyes rolled in the back of my head as I basked over the powerful ecstasy my body felt. But then those wonderful feelings faded when my brain started analyzing the situation. I remember entering the shower alone and was the only person in this house, until two minutes ago. So then that must mean...

"Wait!" I protested and lightly shoved Edward's chest, ceasing him from licking and sucking my throat.

Oh lord, why did I stop him? _Because you're a fucking mood killer!_

"What's wrong Bella?" Edward asked, in a voice laced with concern and disappointment. His beautiful eyes lingered on mine and I nearly came undone when spotting the traces of desire in them. "Don't you want this? Want... me?"

Oh god that sexy voice of his and face that reels me in every time! I want him, no question, but I refuse to set my hopes up on something that will never happen. Edward and I aren't...destined to be.

I blinked back the light moisture that clouded my eyes and gazed intently into his greens. "Yes, I do want this, want you. So bad, you have no idea. But... this isn't real, you aren't really here." Though God I wish more than anything that this was true!

"Bella-"

"I'm going to turn around and when I turn back... you'll be gone."

Quickly and before I gave it a second thought, I whirled around with my back facing him. A few moments passed and I released a shaky breath then slowly turned around. My chest tightened and my heart lowered, discovering my theory proved to be correct. Edward was no longer here. Just as I suspected, it was only a daydream. A very vivid one at that and I wish it actually came true. But, I just had to kill the mood and ruin it, didn't I? I inhaled sharply, continued where I last cleaned myself and pondered excessively over what occurred. Why in God's name would I have such erotic thoughts about Edward Cullen? _Easy, because you want him and you feel a powerful connection with him!_

No, I am through with him, I have to put him out of my mind as much as possible. I need to feel numb, all these emotions and drama involving him were doing a number on me. I searched around the tub and trained my eyes on the shaver that rested in the corner. I have used it quite a few times on my legs previously, so the blade should be dull. The damage might be minimal, if I'm careful. But, I wanted to feel the sting and needed to bleed...

Well, I accomplished what I wanted; my wrists were still fucking stinging even after running cold water on them for five minutes. Damn, I should have been more careful! I bandaged up my wounds and after, hurriedly finished drying my skin with the bath towel. Then wrapped it around myself, exited the bathroom and shut off the light on the way out.

**~~~~BB~~~~**

Now what to do? I wondered once I threw some clothes on and brushed my hair. My eyes landed on my ancient but reliable laptop that lay on top of my desk. It's been a while since I've browsed the internet and checked my emails. _That's because nobody emails your loser ass! _Except my "dear" mother and speaking of her...I rolled my eyes the second I found one new email waiting for me to read. It was from Renee. I almost deleted it but my idiotic self just had to click the read icon. The message was the norm from her, short and sweet and also all about her. Would it have killed her to add in a "How are you Bella?" Not that I expected her to actually give a shit or act like a real mother, of course. I sighed in frustration and saved the email for the time being. Why I did I wasn't sure since I have no intention of replying back.

Next up, I decided to check on my Facebook account, out of sheer boredom I suppose. I mean, I really don't communicate with anyone on there and only have a grand total of five friends last time I checked. And those friends were Renee, a couple of my relatives, a fellow classmate and a random person I added who requested me. Why I did I have yet to figure out. Pathetic, I know. After signing in, I noticed a new notification that stated I had one new friend request. It was probably another random moron wanting to add me to heighten their friend count. My jaw dropped wide as my eyes stared at Edward's name and picture on the screen. You have got to be kidding, was he for real? This guy is something else! Curious, I browsed around his profile, but unfortunately was unable to view much unless I add him. I huffed agitatedly and tapped my fingers against the desk.

Should I add him? _Oh you know you want to! Besides, if you don't, he will just continue to friend request you. _True, but I could just block him, Facebook does have that feature. I chewed my upper lip anxiously while gazing at his profile pic, which was fuck-hot by the way, longer than necessary. I groaned under my breath and quickly clicked on the confirm button. Lord help me! I didn't waste any time and browsed around his profile again, starting with his information. Edward provided very little personal info about himself, focusing more on his favorite types of music, movies, books and quotes. Amazingly I discovered we have similar tastes in all the categories listed. I proceeded on, studying his wall and reading some of his statuses which were few and in between.

Right when I was about to steal a peek at his photos, a comment on his wall caught my attention. I clenched my teeth and balled my hands into fists when I saw who it was from. Lauren, Miss Fucking Skank herself. _Whoa, what's with the name calling, are you jealous? _Right, I couldn't care less who Cullen associates with! _Sure... then why you are stalking his Facebook? _I shook my head to clear my head and glanced at the comment again.

**Lauren Mallory: Eddie, I miss you! Please write me back, call or text me. Doesn't matter, just stop ignoring me!**

Then she, I kid not, added five frowny faces in closing. What a childish, needy bitch! I chuckled and wondered why Edward didn't remove this comment and her off his friend's list the minute they broke up. Then I reminded myself that I shouldn't give a shit. Another comment captured my curiosity and my heart almost froze when I looked at the name and picture beside it. It was from Alice and dated back well over a year ago. Her Facebook was still active? Perhaps the Cullens, or Edward wanted to keep it up out of respect. A breath freed out of my throat while my eyes scanned her heart-breaking and sort of eerie comment.

**Alice Cullen: Little bro, always remember how much I care and love you. You will be all right, you are destined for wonderful things. Never forget that. Love always, Ali**

Oh my god, she must have posted this on his wall right before she... I was speechless. There are no words to describe what I was feeling; this explained so much. I couldn't bear to look at his profile another moment, because honestly it was depressing. So I signed off of Facebook, shut down my computer and leaned back against the chair. My mind was racing and my emotions were on high gear. I felt like such a cold, selfish bitch. Here I was, constantly whining about what's wrong with my world, while Edward has to deal with heartache and tragedy on a daily basis. How could I not feel sympathetic towards him? _Oh, no you don't! Don't go opening your heart to him!_ So, what if I do? What would be wrong with that? It's obvious that Edward needs someone, a friend. Dammit, here I go obsessing over him once again. All right, time to seriously do something else with my time!

I left my bedroom, headed downstairs and glanced around the living room. That's it, I'll clean. I will make this house spotless from top to bottom. Though from the looks of it, it didn't appear to need a cleaning and remained pretty neat after my thorough cleaning last week. Charlie was a lucky bastard having me around, otherwise this place would be covered in filth! But I bet my life savings that Riley's room was a nuclear disaster. Two hours later the entire living room, kitchen and upstairs bathroom was spotless. I spent more time than necessary cleaning each room exhaustively. Wow, what a great way to spend my weekend. Shit I need a life!

I must have been possessed by 'Miss Suzy Fucking Homemaker' because after finishing up the dusting, I was back in the kitchen preparing a lasagna for dinner. I swear if it weren't for me being in charge of buying the groceries, using Charlie's money of course, none of us would eat right. Well, he would probably live off his beer and delivery pizza, Riley would pig out on various fast food items and I would practically starve. I crinkled my nose in disgust over the horrifying thought then inhaled the potent oregano, garlic and basil aroma that wavered throughout the kitchen. Nothing like a home cooked meal. One good thing came out of living with my nightmare of a mother was my learning how to cook. I taught myself naturally. Renee doesn't even know how to make ice, I'm not kidding.

As I waited for the lasagna to bake, boredom became an issue. So much so that I started to pace around the kitchen while thinking, a lot. About him of course, Edward Cullen. There goes my no more thinking about Edward Cullen plan; yep right out the window it went! Goddamn him, I swear he's made my life a fucking roller-coaster ever since Friday evening! Before I knew it, my cell was in my right hand and the screen displayed his name and number. _No, don't do it! Stick to the plan, be strong, don't cave now! You already texted him earlier and made it clear that you may see him tomorrow at school and that you're not interested in seeing him today. _Really, then why the hell did my finger just press the call button? Oh shit, it's ringing!

_Hang up you fucking idiot, what are you doing?_ Maybe he won't answer and I'll least have the pleasure of hearing his fine ass voice speak his voice mail greeting. _All right, it's official, you are one confused, mental chick!_

"Hello?" his melodic tone greeted and immediately I was done for.

My heart hammered excitedly against my chest and my legs weakened, I was melting in every sense of the word. What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Hello?"

I stayed quiet, suddenly freezing up for god knows what reason. Why did I do this? I should just hang up or say something! And which is it? Either I'm still angry with him over yesterday that I want nothing to do with him, or I want to talk to him and maybe listen to what he has to say. Truthfully, I'm not sure about anything regarding him and it scares the shit out of me, the not knowing...

"Bella?" Dammit, he knows it's me! _Of course he does, caller ID, remember dumb-ass!_

I swallowed hard and opened my mouth, but my voice remained stuck inside my throat. _Damn wimp! _I squeezed my eyes shut and impulsively pressed the end call button. Christ, that had to have been the dumbest thing I've ever done! Well that and also trying the weed last night and making out with Jake. I opened my eyes, took a deep breath and set the phone down on the kitchen counter. I have to do something else, anything else so I wouldn't be tempted to pick up the phone and dial his number again. Fuck, I have to get a grip! I strolled over to the oven, carefully opened the door and looked inside. I half-smiled, how perfect my creation appeared. Granted, I may not be great at some things, but cooking is like second nature to me.

I closed the oven door, directed over to the fridge and opened the freezer. It was time to put the garlic bread in since the lasagna was just about...a buzzing sound echoed throughout the kitchen and I flinched in alarm. Then held my breath, realizing my cell was ringing. I went to retrieve it, glanced at the caller id on the screen and nerves settled in my chest. It was him. The buzzing continued as I debated whether to answer it or not. _If you don't answer now Swan, __it will just go straight to voice-mail!_

I answered in the nick of time and greeted in an anxious tone of voice. "Uh, hello?"

"She speaks." Edward murmured and chucked lightly, his voice made shivers radiate over my spine.

Oh, he finds this hilarious, does he?

"So, how are you? I admit that I've been... never mind."

Oh no, no! He can't just stop there, leave me hanging and not continue! But then again, do I want to know what's on his mind? Oh hell yes I do.

"I'm fine, thanks... so you've been what? Go on, tell me." I assured in a soft and shaky tone of voice.

Edward inhaled sharply and then mumbled, "I was um, worried about you."

"Why?" _Duh, Swan isn't it obvious? He's probably been worried out of his mind over the scars that mark your arm and about everything that unfolded yesterday._

"Because you left with Jacob, but I remember you told me last night in your text that you were fine and-"

"Yes, I am okay Edward. And by the way, what happened with Jake and I is none of your concern." I interrupted in my bitchiest tone of voice.

It was a very good thing that Edward wasn't present because if I saw hurt expression on his face, I would have immediately apologized to him. _You should anyway!_

"Well, glad you're all right..." Edward murmured in a wounded voice.

I didn't have to be a mind-reader to figure out what he was thinking. He wanted to hear more about what went on between Jake and I. But I plan on keeping my mouth shut, because Jake was the last person I cared to discuss.

He sighed as a long moment of silence passed between us and a tinge of regret invaded my heart. I tried my hardest to dismiss the feelings but to no avail.

"Bella, why did you call me? Not that I'm complaining but...did you change your mind about my offer?"

Once again I was mute. What's wrong with me? I had plenty to say to him yesterday, what gives? Let's see, he makes you nervous, makes you feel things that frighten you to the very core, yet you still resent him over what went down. God, why does it always have to be so intense with him?

"Bella please... talk to me. Don't be... wait, is that it?"

I snapped out of my deep ponders and focused on Edward's question. "Is what it?"

"Are you afraid to talk to me...afraid of me?" He sounded so wistful it jerked my heart-strings. I was this close to almost surrendering and expressing an apology.

But instead I answered honestly, "Maybe, I mean... I don't know. I don't know why I called. I really should go..."

"Bella, wait! Listen, I'm aware that I sound like a broken record, but I apologize about what happened-"

"No, stop! I'm through talking about it. I accept your apology and..." I paused and struggled to swallow my pride and offer an apology as well.

My damn conscience has been playing around with my feelings and reminded that my reaction to Edward over at La Push was beyond harsh. However, I allowed the stubbornness to cloud my heart and in turn all I gave was my silence. _You're such a bitch Swan!_

"And you...what?" Edward urged in a nervous and hopeful voice.

Once again he affected me in ways I'll never grasp. I shook my head and hoped it would rid the spell that Cullen always puts me under. See, this is exactly why I should avoid him and why I have to hang up the phone. He messes with my heart too much and I think he damn well knows it! _Seriously how much longer are you going to fight __your feelings and continue to push him away?_

"Nothing, never mind." I mumbled, feeling like a complete moron.

"Well, thank you for accepting my apology..." Edward exhaled quietly and proceeded, "Look I'm hoping that maybe you'll at least reconsider us seeing each other this evening."

I was baffled by him once more and can't comprehend for the life of me why he wants to waste any of his time with me. Especially after the way I lashed out at him yesterday! This guy sure is a glutton for punishment.

"I don't know Edward..." I finally replied and pulled on a loose strand of hair nervously.

_Bullshit, you are sure! You want to see him and you want him, when you finally stop denying it?_

Edward laughed. "Well, at least you didn't flat out turn me down."

"Wait for it." I joked and his warm laughter tickled my eardrums.

Wow, did we actually share a light moment? I can't believe I'm admitting this, but it was nice. Better than all the heavy and hostility. _Yeah, mostly caused by you!_

"So then, can I see you? What are you doing right now?"

I inhaled sharply, ran a hand through my hair and glanced at the oven. "Cooking dinner."

"Oh, really?" Edward sounded utterly surprised and I wasn't sure what to make of his response.

"Yes, really, does that surprise you Cullen?" I kept my voice as light as possible but a hint of hostility was detected in it.

Edward cleared his throat awkwardly and answered, "Honestly? A bit... I didn't take you as the type who cooks. And I'm not meaning to be insulting-"

"Could have fooled me." I snapped harshly and realized too late I might have jumped the gun.

_Might have, Miss Defensive?_

"So...what type of girl do you think I am then?" There I just placed the spotlight directly on him! I can't wait to find out how he smooths his way out of this one.

"Sorry, I meant nothing by it." Edward assured, his voice sheepish. "It's just that surprised me a little, that's all. I didn't know that about you."

Now it was my turn to chuckle. "Of course not because you hardly know anything about me."

"I agree, so... let me get to know you Bella. Starting with...how about I head over and pick you up after dinner? We can go for a walk."

"A walk?" I echoed skeptically and sauntered over to the kitchen window.

Just as I suspected and heard, it was raining. Though it was light right now, I was sure it would downpour shortly and by then it wouldn't be walking weather.

"Edward, it's raining." I pointed out, stating the obvious.

I could tell Edward's mouth broke into that crooked grin of his over at his end of the line. "Yes it is, and your point?"

All right, how was it possible that one guy could be irritating yet affect me in such head-spinning ways?

"My point is...look I don't like the rain or getting wet and I'm especially not a fan of the cold."

_Well, if your plan was to turn him off, then congrats, you probably accomplished just that! No one likes a negative person, it's not an attractive quality._

Edward's voice brought me back to earth as he said, "Okay, let's recap, shall we? You don't like the beach, the rain or the cold, and you can cook. Hmm, I'm learning quite a bit about you today Bella."

Great, I just gave him exactly what he desired; to learn more about me! I sighed and shook my head incredulously. "And I don't understand why you want to learn anything about me."

Seriously, I'm probably one of the most ordinary, boring person in existence. I can't grasp how he finds me remotely interesting.

Edward exhaled and I didn't miss the trace of annoyance in his voice. "You do realize that you make it pretty difficult for people to try build a friendship with you."

There he goes again, throwing around that damn word, "friendship"! The frustration I harbored built and laid a thick amount of pressure on my chest. Did he not hear a single a word I said to him yesterday?

"I thought I made it clear Edward that I don't need saving and especially don't need your friendship." My voice was firm and steady just enough for him to receive my message loud and clear.

"Well, if that's true then why did you call?"

Ugh, fucking smart ass! _No, he just called you on your bullshit and it makes you tick!_

"And while we're on the subject of making things "clear", I should let you know that I'm not the type of person who gives up... I won't give up on you, Bella." Edward informed, his silky voice etched with sincerity.

God, why did he say that? I can't buy into his promises and reminders that he will always be there for me. I refuse to set myself up for a heart-break. _He's not your mother Bella, not everyone is lik__e Renee! Give him a chance, for once open your stubborn heart and take a risk!_

"Bella?" Edward murmured in concern, snapping me back to reality.

"Yes?" I whispered, sounding weak and forlorn much to my dismay. I gazed distractedly out the window and watched the heavy sheets of rain slide down the glass.

"So, what do you think? I will come by in about an hour and we can go anywhere you like. Or we can catch a movie?"

_Come on, give the poor guy a break! _Why, so when every time Edward looks at me he will always think I'm the girl who cuts herself? And I'm a lost soul like Alice was? I wasn't about to start a friendship with him knowing he's only trying because he feels sorry for me. We are only classmates and nothing more. _You're wrong, so wrong and __scared. _I gulped and blinked back the tears that stung the back of my eyes.

My damn heart just had to rip in half the second the words slipped out of my throat. "No, I can't Edward. Not tonight or any other night, sorry. Look, I have to go..."

I took a deep breath and pulled the phone away from my ear. As my thumb nearly pressed the button to end the call, Edward stopped me. "Wait! Bella, please reconsider. I apologize if...maybe I'm being pushy but...we will just talk, that's it."

I tried so hard to ignore it, but damn I felt bad for him. He seemed almost desperate for company and longed to fill the gaping hole in his heart. _Then don't be cruel and help him! _Sorry Edward, truly, but I'm not the person you need and never will be...

"Charlie will be home soon and dinner is almost ready. So...I need to get going." I muttered in a monotone voice.

"Okay, well guess I'll see you tomorrow then." Edward responded sadly.

"Yeah, see you."

A single tear rolled out of my left eye and quickly I wiped it away with the back of my hand. Fuck, why was I worked up over this?

"Goodbye Bella." The defeated tone in his voice practically gutted me.

"Bye Edward." I ended the call first, sighed shakily and placed my cell inside my jean pocket.

_Lord, why are you doing this to me? Is there a reason you are pushing Cullen on me?_ I can't dwell about this anymore, I needed to finish making dinner. I rubbed my face with my hands, inhaled deeply and retrieved the garlic bread out of the freezer. Once the bread was in the oven I decided to venture back to the living room. I figured watching some tv would take my mind off things, particularly a certain someone. Well, that bright idea failed miserably because no matter what show, commercial or even movie I tuned in on, they all reminded me of him. Finally, the timer went off and I hurried back to the kitchen to check in on the food.

Just as I pulled the garlic bread out of the oven, the sound of the front door closing made me flinch. My mitt covered hands almost dropped the pan, but luckily I have quick reflexes and caught it in the nick of time.

"Shit!" I hissed under my breath, annoyed and shaken up by the unexpected interruption.

"Bells, are you all right?" Charlie asked while entering inside the kitchen.

I stood in place with my back turned to him and hastily checked that my shirt sleeves were rolled down. The last thing I needed was for him to discover my scars, he would freak the fuck out for sure.

I nodded stiffly, removed the oven mitts off my hands and opened one of the cabinet's to retrieve a serving dish. "Yeah I'm fine Charlie, you just scared the shit out of me."

Charlie exhaled sharply and I suspected it was because he didn't approve my use of foul language. He doesn't like that Riley and I curse, yet he uses several expletives on a daily basis. A truly fair parent he is.

"What are you doing?"

I rolled my eyes and held back the sarcastic laugh that nearly escaped. Seriously, did he take an idiot pill today?

"What does it look like I'm doing? Making dinner and it's ready by the way." I muttered, sauntering over to one of the drawers, opened it and withdrew out a knife.

"Oh, uh thanks Bells. It smells great but you didn't have to go through the-"

"Well it beats eating shitty delivery pizza." I snapped and furiously cut the bread into slices.

Shit, I need to be more careful or I may slice off one of my fingers! Charlie must have feared the same worry because he approached me and suggested, "Hand me the knife Bella, please. I'll finish the rest."

I sighed soundly, handing him the knife and collected what I needed to set the dining room table. I planned on only setting it for him since I was going to take my dinner up-stairs. _Nice Swan, would it be such an awful idea to sit with your father at the dinner table like mos__t normal families?_ It wouldn't be, if we were a normal family.

"So...I hear your friendly with Jacob now? When did that happen?" Charlie wondered ending the awkward minute of silence.

His poor attempt at sounding nonchalant about the topic failed because I knew better. His old ass was fishing and no way in hell would I bite! Wait a damn second, why was Charlie asking about Jake all of a sudden? What does he know exactly?

I frowned, setting the plate down, along with a napkin and fork on top of the table. "Yes, I am. Well, I was... look I don't want to talk about it Charlie."

I went back to the kitchen to grab the lasagna, but he beat me to it, carrying the pan along with the plate of garlic bread. After he placed set them down on the table, Charlie threw me a puzzled glare and pressed, "Why not? The boy's got a big smile for you. Billy has never seen him this happy. And Jake wouldn't shut up, talking about you over at Harry's."

I stared down at the floor and avoided meeting his gaze at all costs as he continued to ramble, "According to Jake, you two ran into each other at the beach yesterday and ended up hanging out."

Charlie paused and threw an accusing glare my way. Oh shit, that's right! I had forgotten about the bullshit lie Edward conjured up so we could have Charlie's permission to hang out. We were supposed to be at the library! _Just play it cool, you got this!_

"So what happened to Edward? Thought you two were supposed to be working on his project over at the library. How did you end up at the beach?"

Jesus Christ, could he be any nosier? And for once, can't he just act like a real father? Not treat me like I'm one of his damn suspects being questioned! My narrowed eyes locked on Charlie's face and my expression turned livid. I was confused, now all of a sudden he starts expressing interest about my life? And about boys of all things? This was all Jake's and his big fucking mouth's fault! I groaned haughtily through clenched teeth, brushed past Charlie and entered back inside the kitchen.

"Nothing happened with Edward dad, and yes we were at the library working on his project like we said we would."

Charlie grunted and a bundle of irritation attacked my chest. He's suspicious, I just know it. Well, whatever, I don't give a damn what he believes! But, just to be on the safe side I should say what he wants to hear, that way he'll back off.

"So after we finished at the library we uh...decided to take a walk on the beach. We ran into Jake and...it's nothing dad, okay? You're thinking way too much out of the whole thing." I walked over to the fridge, opened it and browsed inside.

"It sure doesn't sound like nothing Bells, in fact judging by the tone in your voice something's not adding up. You seem upset."

Yes I am upset, no thanks to you!

Charlie cleared his throat and added, "Listen Bella, I understand that maybe this is uncomfortable for you to discuss as it is for me, but..."

"Oh for fucksake Charlie, can you just drop it! You have never taken an interest in my damn life over the last several years, so why start now?"

Charlie stalked inside the kitchen with a furious and wounded expression planted on his face. _Perfect, now you've done it!_

"Isabella, I don't appreciate you speaking to me in that tone and especially using such disrespectful language!"

I shook my head, searched through the fridge again and pulled out a bottle of water from the shelf. Then I closed the door and tried to storm past him, but he blocked me from taking another step. What the hell? If he expects an apology, then he'll be waiting for a long ass time!

"Bells, look at me."

I exhaled and grudgingly looked up at him. What I uncovered in his eyes was shocking; I must be seeing things. Is he sad? _Duh, did you even consider that perhaps Charlie has feelings too __and y__ou hurt them?_

The usual gruff appearance on his face was replaced by a solemn one as he murmured, "Contrary to what you believe, I do care about you. You're my daughter Bell and I always wanted what's best for you. I realize I'm not around much but I-"

I raised my hand to silence him because I no longer wanted to hear the fake 'I love you because you're my child' speech. Since when has he shown any ounce of love towards me? Oh that's right, his way of caring was dumping my ass on Renee every opportunity presented!

"Don't Charlie, just don't."

His eyes slightly widened as a perplexed look creased on his face. "Don't what Bella? Care? You're my daughter of course I-"

"Jesus Christ, stop freaking saying that dad! If you gave such a damn about me then you wouldn't have discarded me every chance you had! But now you're stuck with me and it makes you miserable!"

I admit, a small part of me didn't want to lash out at him, but merely because I lacked the energy to get into this with him. However, since he opened the can of worms, I wasn't about to hold back my feelings. J_ust quit while you're ahead before you say something you can't take back! _Charlie appeared as if I had punched him right in the face and his eyes brimmed with utter sadness. I can't start feeling sorry for him now; the second I do he'll disappoint me again. I seized the opportunity to duck under him, leaving the kitchen and headed for the stairs.

As my foot touched the first step Charlie said, "That's what you really think Bells? That I wanted to dump you on your mother because I didn't want you?"

I remained still, feeling my shoulders tense as my heart caught in my throat. My eyes slipped closed and I took a deep breath, trying to pay no mind to the massive guilt my chest wore. "Yes Charlie... and you _still_ don't want me."

Charlie sighed wistfully and I listened to his footsteps as he directed towards me. "Bella, that's not true. I thought you wanted time with your mother. It's what you both wanted-"

"Bullshit Charlie! Did you ever think of asking me about what I wanted? Or ask about what my life was like while living with her? You have never taken the time to really listen, if you did then-"

Oh shit, I was this close to revealing what happened to me back in Phoenix! _Good, he should __know_. But it doesn't matter, it was a long time ago and I've moved on from it. Besides, Charlie is too late in playing the fucking father card! Just a few more miserable months and I'll finally be out of this rat-hole town and out of his life. It's what he wants anyway. _No he doesn't and deep down you believe that._

"Then what Bella? Did something happen while you lived with Renee? Tell me." Charlie's voice lowered and etched with worry.

My chest constricted as tears filled in my eyes and I swallowed hard, forcing down the sob that wanted to free. I can't do this with him. I refuse to open up about the nightmare I lived with for years. I had buried those painful memories in the far corner of my mind long, long ago.

"Bells, please..."

I shook my head, dashed up the stairs and muttered quietly, "Your food is getting cold, better hurry up and eat."

"Bella, we're not finished yet! Come back down here! Please...stop shutting me out." Charlie implored in a desperate toned voice.

I responded by shutting my bedroom door, leaving the trail of tense silence behind. I exhaled heavily and leaned my back against the door. Out of my control, a stream of wetness slipped out of my eyes, rolled past my cheeks and chin. I nodded my head determinedly and wiped away the tears with the back of my hand. The temptation to cut was great and I even briefly contemplated cutting deeper than I ever had. _Well, sorry to break it to you but that plan will have to wait, you have a history test to study for._ Crap, that's right, homework! I didn't even bother to work on any of it this weekend. Thanks to Green Eyes, Jake and Charlie.

Now it's Sunday night, crunch time! I better get my ass in gear and work on it before I go to sleep. If I wish to enroll in a decent two year college, I do need to graduate. I sighed in frustration, grabbed my backpack where it lay beside my desk and walked over to my bed. A short while later my I-pod was on full blast and I was just wrapping up my math homework when there was a knock on the door. Ugh, fucking Charlie! I only had two options at the moment, allow him to come in and talk to me, or try plan B. Promptly and silently I tossed all of my belongings back inside the bag and set it down on floor.

"Bells, may I come in? I won't raise my voice...I don't want us to argue, I just think we should talk."

I contemplated his offer briefly and reminded myself that I couldn't deal with him. _Fucking coward, you're bound to have this discussion with him sooner or later! _Well, I choose later. I refrained from groaning when Charlie knocked two more times.

"Bells? Are you sleeping?"

No, but I'm about to make an Oscar worthy performance pretending to. I laid down on the bed, rolled to my right and turned off the lamp on the night-table. I grabbed the covers, placed it over my body and shut my eyes. I even pretended to snore lightly as an added bonus. _Real nice, you do realize this is messed up, even for you!_ I laid perfectly still in place as the door creaked open and the sounds of Charlie's footsteps traveled towards the bed.

"Bella?" he whispered gently and I felt his presence as he stood right next to the bed.

I continued on with my act and refrained from cringing as Charlie's fingers brushed a loose strand of hair away from my face. Light moisture stung the back of my eyes and I gulped, ridding them from surfacing any further. I refuse to be affected by him. I was no longer the nine year old little girl that he used to console whenever I skinned my knees falling off my bicycle. Things are different now.

Charlie exhaled sadly and I listened as he took a couple of steps back. "Well, good night. I'm sorry Bells...I love you."

He said those last three words so softly I had to strain to catch them. And I wish I hadn't. Why all of a sudden has he decided to be gentle, saying he loves me? He's supposed to not give a shit, it's always how it's been... _No, that's the way you wanted it because you're scared. You're a scared, resentful, heart-broken little girl. _After the door closed, I breathed a sigh of relief and opened my eyes._ Admit it Bella, you love him too and you want him to love you back more than anything, you want to be loved. _I shook my head angrily and glared at the dark space across the way. That's bullshit! Damn conscience has no idea what it's saying.

I inhaled, turned to my other side and started feeling a little more alert again. I wished my brain would shut off and sleep would take me. I knew just what to do to make that happen. Once I set the alarm clock for tomorrow, I turned on my I-pod and stuck my ear-buds inside my ears. Nothing like listening to Debussy to calm the nerves and mind. Minutes passed and when sleep finally invaded my body, I dreamt. I dreamt about tousled bronze hair, moss colored eyes and a creamy voice that melts my heart.

For the second night in a row, Edward Cullen haunted my dreams.

**~~~~BB~~~~**

**A/N: Okay, take deep breaths sweeties, (breathe). I know, I know this was a long and really heavy one! Yes, I'm also aware some of you will be mad at Bella again. But please, please don't give up on me and the story, just keeping trying to understand her best you can. And trust me, my heart breaks for Edward and even Charlie, because now as you read he does love his daughter. Anyhow, I don't want to give too much away but...Bella will finally open up to Edward, let her guard down and not treat him like such...well not nicely. They will finally made progress and so much more will be revealed soon! Oh and the next chapter will be crazy! Crazy interesting, crazy good, hee. It will be a bit faster paced. I realize the chapters probably have moved a bit slow but they had to, hope that makes sense. Anyway, as always I thank you all for reading from the bottom of my heart! I love each and every review, even if you don't review and you just read, I love that too! But as always I would be happy to hear from you all ;)**

**Don't forget to add me on Twitter: vampgirl792011 and on FB: vampgirl79 Fanfiction. There are teasers for my stories on there and lots of other cool things I post! Alright, so I have a feeling you guys are wondering when the next update will be. I have chapter 6 about half way done. But I will be honest, I probably wont update for another couple of weeks :( With Christmas near, my daughter will be home from school for break, life will be hectic. But I will try to update as soon as I can! I promise it will be worth the wait :) Till next time, take care and in case I don't update before then, Happy Holidays! xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6: Crappy Morning

**A/N: Hello lovelies! I know, long time no update :( *hang heads in shame* Sorry sweeties! I admit not only has RL kept me busy with being sick, my hub and daughter also being, thank God we are all better now, lol. But it took me quite awhile to write this chapter. Also the length kept growing, so I split it into two. Yep, so that means chapter 7 will be posted very soon too! I will chat with you more about it in the end :) For now, I'm sure you just want to read! As usual I like to thank everyone for reviewing, reading and adding this story to all of your alerts. It means so much, especially because I realize this fic can be very drama heavy and dark at times. I appreciate all of you for sticking with me!**

**Disclaimer: It's the awesome Stephenie Meyer's and will always be! Many thanks goes to her for allowing me to do whatever to her characters, lol. **

*******This story contains a sensitive subject, has references of rape, alcohol, strong language and sexual situations. This is also a drama, not too angsty, romance story. I must warn once again if any of these themes may make you uncomfortable, you probably shouldn't continue reading! This story is Rated M for a reason!**  
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**Another warning: This chapter in particular has violence references and very strong language!**

*****My beta is the studious, hard-working and lovely SerenShadow :) Thanks so much for all of your support and awesome beta help!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6: Crappy Morning<strong>

Monday.

The day of the week I loathe the most.

And it's plainly obvious why.

The moment I climbed out of my truck, slammed the door and dragged my feet towards the school entrance, I knew it would be a shitty ass day. For starters, it seemed that almost everyone I passed by stared at me. That wasn't unusual because practically every student in this fucking school does so on a daily basis. But today, something didn't feel right, something was way off and I was half curious as to what was going on.

_Don't be, just keep walking and pay no mind to those assholes!_

I lowered my head, kept my eyes trained on my shoes and walked briskly. A few obnoxious catcalls and loud snickers followed behind me, like gum that's stuck on the bottom of a shoe. Normally, I don't give a rat's ass what they gossip about me; but the sudden curiosity drove me mad. All right, what the hell was going on? The only conclusion I drew to was that fucking whore bag Lauren spread some bull-shit rumors about me again. God, when will she ever get a damn life? Wasn't she bored with making mine a living hell? Of course not!

Okay, I shouldn't fault her entirely. After all, what else is there to do in this rundown, tiny populated town? I tried my hardest to discreetly tune in to what some of my peers were whispering, but was unable to make out a damn thing. Oh fuck it, I really shouldn't give a shit! I should only focus on surviving the school day and then I'll be home. Home. Right, like that's a step up! Seriously could my life be any shittier? _Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed Miss Cranky Pants! Just get through the day, ignore the losers who are talking trash about you and avoid E__dward Cullen at all costs._

That last piece of advice would be the most tricky to follow. For one, the guilt I still wore on my sleeve is not only heavy but encouraged me to approach him the instant I lay eyes on him. My conscience seemed to believe that I owe Edward an apology for turning down his invitation yesterday and for my behavior on Saturday. Fine, I admit I might have been a tad harsh, but it was hard to bury what happened at the beach. However, what remains to stand out was when he compared me to Alice. _Oh you're just whining because he was right about everything and you're too stubborn to face it!_

Well, whatever, I'm still sticking with my decision to stay out of Edward's life and I intend on following through. Whether he was genuine or meant well, it doesn't matter. I just can't be involved with him, period. _Sure, you may succeed at avoiding him but he will always be the star of your dreams! _Thanks for the reminder, lovely brain of mine! Speaking of dreams, the ones I had last night were crazy vivid and really...explicit. A rush of heat filled my cheeks and the area between my legs ached with desire. Yes, my dreams about Edward were on the racy side. But that's all they were and ever will be… dreams.

I shook my head to rid any more thoughts about Cullen and strode over to the school's entrance. Just as I opened one of the double glass doors, a voice called out my name. I froze and my insides flamed with slight yearning over the sound of his velvet voice. Edward. Fuck, why does he always affect me like this?

"Bella, wait!"

_Keep moving and pretend that you didn't hear him!_

I motioned faster and my stomach dropped the second Edward pleaded for me to stop and speak to him. Why won't he just leave me alone? I hurried over to my locker that was located at the end of the hallway. Thankfully it's secluded and nowhere near any of the classrooms. Nervously, I stole a glance behind my shoulder and breathed a huge sigh of relief. Edward was no longer chasing me; maybe I imagined it. Right... I shook my head, irritated by my thoughts and started turning the locks dial.

All of a sudden clicking noises made my shoulders tense and the hairs on the back of my neck raise. I know that sound anywhere, and that smell. Cheap, strong perfume and ridiculously loud five inch heels that could only be worn by...

"Well, well, well Jess, look who we have here. Looney Swan, the new and _**improved**_ version. Deflowered and now a real woman." Lauren Mallory's nasally voice announced just loud enough for the entire hallway to hear.

I processed her words for a moment and narrowed my eyes angrily. What the fuck was she rambling about? Who got deflowered? And come to think of it, who in God's name says that shit this day and age? I remained still with my back turned to them, pulled the locker door ajar and absentmindedly glanced at my books. I figured if I paid them no mind they would go on their merry way and harass some other poor soul. They're just bored and need to be entertained, but I wasn't about to humor them.

"I don't know Lauren, do you really think it's true?" Jessica asked from behind and I swear they were standing so near, their foul-odored breath blew on the back of my head.

Dammit, I will need to rinse and repeat when I shower later.

"I mean," Jessica proceeded and a noisy popping sound made me cringe in disgust.

Jesus Christ, I swear her and her fucking gum chewing habit! See, Jessica always has to have something in her mouth, preferably a guy's dick. All right, that was a nasty thing to say. But truth be told, Jess is known as the go to girl for giving out blow-jobs to any guy who asked for them. Yes, even some of the teachers in this school! If it was in her favor and helped bring up her constant failing grades, then so be it. Anyhow, when she's not occupied with a guy's hard-on, you will always see her chewing a piece of gum, or sucking on a lollipop. Well, you get my drift. My thoughts faded to an abrupt halt when Jessica's verbal vomit caught my attention.

"Who the fuck was desperate enough to sleep with _**her**_?"

Lauren snorted, burst into a fit of giggles and hummed in agreement. "I know right? But according to Mandy, this one dude was. Some drunk college guy that crashed Swan's brother's party..."

I continued on with my charade, acting as if I were alone and searched through my locker for my first class textbook. A sharp finger and a thumbnail made contact with the back of my head, throwing me off guard. I winced in pain and cradled my head with my right hand. Jesus, what the hell? I'm about to kick some hoochie ass in a minute...

"Hey, we're talking to you Swan!" Lauren snapped, her annoying ass voice dripped with iciness.

I sighed through clenched teeth, whirled around and threw them my best bitch look. "No Lauren, you were _**talking about me**_, big difference."

Jessica rolled her eyes and set her hands on her wide ass hips as Lauren cast me what was her version, of a dirty glare. Yet, it looked more like she was constipated. God, whatever on earth did Edward see in her was beyond me. Hell, what do any of these loser guys in school see in these bimbos? There both incredibly fake and trashy appearing with their overly done hair, make-up, wardrobe and all. It's really sad they go through so much trouble every single day to make themselves look presentable.

"Talking with you, about you, what's the difference?" Lauren shrugged as she inched closer and I backed into the locker behind me.

Oh no, things were not going to go down this way. I refuse to be her victim again! I'm no longer the wimp that I was last year. I'll fight back and she won't even see it coming.

"So spill looney, I want to know the deets about you and drunky college guy Friday night. Word is you two made out downstairs, then you took him to your room and gave up your vcard to him."

Jessica shook her head in mock disappointment and Lauren smirked at her. Then they exchanged a glance and looked back at me again. All right, what the hell was that secret look about?

"Guess you figured you might as well lose it to some random loser, huh Swan?" Jessica giggled and glanced over at Lauren with a disgusted expression. "Oh and get this...I also heard that she let him fuck her in the ass."

Whoa, are they fucking kidding me? That bastard tried to rape me, but word around school was I had sex with him?

My thoughts halted when Lauren eyed me speculatively and titled her head sideways. "Really? Interesting. That's quite a way to lose your virginity Swan."

Heat spread over my entire face and neck as my hands curled into tight fists. All right, I've allowed them to have their fun long enough, which was a big mistake. This shit ends now!

"Both of you fuck off! Leave me the hell alone." I lashed out, flashing them a menacing look and stepped to the side to get some distance.

Then I turned my back on them; what another big mistake. Both girls grabbed a hold of my shoulders, spun me around and slammed my body forcefully against one of the locker's. Shit, I'm screwed! Two against one after all. _You can't be serious, that's exactly what they want. For you to be afraid of them, don't let them win! _But they have the upper hand and damn well know it!

The sluts moved in before I was able to make a move, closing in on me with matching smirks on their lips and hate in their eyes. I squirmed, trying to break free out of their cage. But Lauren raised her bony ass arm, curled it and dug it deep into my throat.

Luckily I could still breathe since she has zero muscle and meat on her. However, I had to admit she was pretty strong, or maybe I'm just a fucking weakling.

"Get your fucking arm off me!" I growled and wiggled underneath her, fighting to the best of my ability.

The skank twins simply laughed over my dilemma, and then Lauren waggled her finger in front of my face. Fuck, she's moving it around too quickly, otherwise I would have bit her. Damn bitch deserves it!

"Oh Swan, now that wasn't very nice. Wouldn't you agree Jess?" Lauren glanced over at Jessica and she nodded in agreement, stifling a yawn in return.

Apparently bullying me was boring to her. Maybe I should make it more entertaining.

As my brain scrambled with formulating a plan to get myself out of this mess, Lauren rambled on, "Here I am just wanting to catch up with my favorite victim and you have to be all defensive. So...that must mean it is true. Wow looney, you are a Grade A first class whore."

She snickered as Jessica chimed in, giggling obnoxiously and my ears rang over the irritating hyena like noises. Then I recalled the names Lauren called me, and my blood started to steam. You can call me an idiot, a loser, psycho, hell I don't even care if you call me a bitch. Everyone is a bitch one time or another. But call me a whore and a victim and well... Damn Mallory is fucking lucky were on school grounds! I'm holding back from what I really wanted to do to her. And that was smash her bleach blond head against the locker until it bleeds.

_Whoa, anger issues much? _What's happening to me? Sure I get upset, have an occasional temper once in awhile, but I feel like I'm ready to snap any second now. Maybe I should walk away, get out of this somehow before it's too...

"Now Swan, didn't your parents teach you to speak when spoken to!" Lauren hissed as her hand curled around my jaw and squeezed it roughly.

I struggled from wincing aloud, keeping a cool expression on my face and countered, "And I suppose your mother _**didn't**_ teach you the ways of looking and acting like a five dollar prostitute!"

Lauren screeched in fury and kneed my stomach so hard the wind was knocked right out of my lungs. Jessica just stood there watching and laughed over my agony. I swear to God, I will make both of their lives fucking miserable if it's the last thing I'll do! No, they're not worth it. I just need to get by the rest of the school year and it will all be over. But I may fucking kill them before then! _You don't mean that, and you know it!_

"Kick her psycho slutty ass Lauren!" Jessica encouraged, glancing around the hallway to check if the coast was clear.

Yeah, this is the moment where I truly wish I didn't have a locker over at this part of the building. It's always a ghost town around here about ninety percent of the time. Lauren's plastic ugly ass face was inches away from mine and I turned my head to the right to veer clear of her face.

"You know Swan, I also heard that you and party crasher guy fucked on your dad's bed. I mean, how fucking sick is that shit?" Lauren snorted and shook her head in amusement while Jessica laughed uncontrollably.

She then took a moment to pause, eyed me directly and stage whispered, "Well that's not as bad as what I've heard Lauren. Bella and the Chief are really _**close**_...if you get my drift." Lauren's eyes bugged out as a repulsed look etched on her face and they both looked at me in disgust.

All right, before I was pissed, now I'm seeing red. I've officially snapped! There making this shit up, I just feel it, and even for them that last comment was vile. I was literally sick to my stomach and so enraged my entire insides felt as if they were on fire. The next few moments happened so fast it almost didn't seem real. I growled, seriously growled at them and shoved Lauren off me as hard as I could. She landed roughly on the floor and flat on her ass. Jessica gaped at me in appall and tried to rush to Lauren's aid, but I interceded, lunging at her. I didn't realize my hands were wound around her throat until Jessica screamed.

Lauren was right beside Jessica in an instant, attempting to pry my hands off her, yet that didn't even snap me out of my fit of rage. Just as I was about to squeeze tighter, I froze when a voice spoke, capturing all of our attention.

"Hey, hey ladies. What seems to be the problem here?"

At first I thought it was a teacher, or another staff member, until I detected a light southern accent in the male's voice. I turned my head and looked over at a tall, lean built, incredibly handsome blonde haired guy. One that I know of, but not personally.

Jasper Whitlock

What's he doing around this part of the school? Never mind that, why is he interfering? _Gee, maybe because he caught you attempting to kill one of his fellow classmates! _Oh shit, Jessica! I stared back at her, my body now numb from shock and I noticed my hands were still wrapped around her throat. Jessica's eyes were swimming in tears as she gazed at Jasper, silently pleading him to come to her aid. Holy crap, what have I done? I watched dazedly as Jasper strolled over to me, stood by my side and gently unfolded my hands. I winced in pain from the soreness and burning sensation my fingers felt.

Slowly I dropped my arms to my sides and allowed Jasper to back me away from Jessica. Immediately Lauren tended to her, examining her for any visible marks, which there were. Light red indentations, from my fingertips, marked her skin. Jasper laid his hand on my shoulder and trained his eyes only on Lauren and Jess.

Suddenly Lauren screamed out of the top of her lungs while stalking towards me. "I always knew you were fucking crazy Swan; you will pay for this!"

As she nearly closed in on me Jasper warned, "That's close enough, and may I advise that you keep your voice down. You don't want to draw any attention." His tone of voice was incredibly calm yet so threatening it was downright chilling.

I was speechless and above all shocked beyond belief. Why on earth was Jasper defending me? At least it seemed that way. I mean, I was the one who attacked Jessica, shouldn't he be consoling her and reporting my ass to the principal?

Lauren's eyes flashed in fury as she gestured her hands angrily in every which direction. "Not draw attention? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you blind? Did you just not see what that fucking psycho _**did**_?"

Jasper released his hand off my shoulder and folded his arms over his chest. Holy shit, his forearms are muscular! _Bella, focus_. I glanced up at him, watching as he smirked at Lauren and raised his eyebrow innocently. "See what? All I witnessed was the two of you harassing Bella here..."

His gray eyes captured mine and my mouth almost dropped as he added in a low but icy tone. "For the last time."

What? Okay, I am seriously baffled. I was the one who went all wacko on Jessica, yet Jasper was turning the other cheek, pretending he didn't witness anything. Why?

"You've got to be fucking kidding me! You're actually defending this slut bag!" Lauren shrieked, throwing me a venomous glare.

I merely shrugged and grinned smugly just to get underneath that bitches skin, and it did. Lauren's caked-up face was suddenly three shades of red.

"Call her that, or any other name, and you _**will**_ regret it." Jasper threatened through clenched teeth, his eyes ablaze as he and Lauren immersed in the ultimate stare-down.

I couldn't believe this, and apparently neither could Jessica, because for once her motor ass mouth remained shut. Lauren shook her head furiously and grabbed Jessica by her elbow.

"Ouch, Lauren!" Jess hissed under her breath. But Lauren ignored her and directed her away, dragging her down the hallway.

I assumed that they were making a beeline for the Principals office. Great, just perfect! Charlie is going to be seriously livid once the Principal calls him up about this.

"This isn't over Swan! I'm going to report your ass to Principal Murphy and then our parents will press charges!"

"You will do no such thing." Jasper ordered in such a commanding voice the girls ceased from taking another step and turned around.

Lauren eyes shined with rage but surprise and fear was written on her face. Just as she opened her mouth to reply, Jasper interrupted. "You heard right. You won't do a damn thing to Bella ever again. You will walk away and never speak of what just happened. Am I making myself clear?"

I observed all of what was unfolding, confused, as Lauren and Jasper exchanged a cryptic glance. Wait a minute, is he able to make these threats because he has something on her? I mean, that can't be the reason, right?

"Lauren, you know damn well what _**I **_know. Now don't make me be an asshole and spill to everyone who will listen to your dirty little secret."

Lauren's face dramatically paled and Jessica gazed questioningly at her, completely in the dark of whatever Jasper was talking about. Holy Mother of God, Jasper knows something about Lauren! A dark secret which apparently her own bff doesn't know! This is epic, someone actually has dirt on that bitch! At last she is getting what's coming to her!

"It's too late, you're already an asshole Whitlock and don't forget... a _**murderer**_ too."

My eyes widened and I looked at Jasper, noticing his once stern expression faded, replaced by a grave one. What the fuck did Lauren mean by that? Murderer, huh?

"You might as well have been the one to push her off the cliff yourself! _**You**_ were responsible for poor little suicidal Alice's death. Her family tried to fool all of us, but we're not stupid. Most of the town knows the _**real**_ truth, that she didn't drown-"

"You better shut the hell up right now Mallory!" Jasper barked in such a frigid tone my heart accelerated in reaction.

Jesus, I'm not sure what to make of all of this, and what was said, especially by Lauren. God, what a cruel, twisted bitch! How dare she throw Alice's death in Jasp- wait, Jasper was with Alice? _Yes, remember, Angela told you about their story last year?_ I vaguely recollect the info Ang shared with me about Alice. Honestly, at the time, I didn't pay much attention. Now I wish I had. I was pulled back to reality when I saw a very livid Jasper about to charge Lauren. But I laid my hand flat against his chest, stopping him before things turned uglier than they already were. Lauren gloated, nailing Jasper where it hurt, grinning from ear to ear. I should have choked her too! Damn bitch!

"Fuck off Lauren, now, before I do a replay of what I did to Jessica, this time on you!" I warned and gave them a threatening gaze, showing I meant business.

Jessica touched Lauren's arm, pleading with her to drop it and suggesting that they leave. Lauren narrowed her eyes sharply as her red-tinted cheeks puffed and she angrily spun around on her heel.

Well, at least one of them is sort of bright enough to understand a warning.

As they walked away, Jasper called out, "Don't forget Mallory!" She groaned loudly, flipped him the bird in answer, and Jasper chuckled, shaking his head.

Once a long ass minute of silence passed, I breathed out a huge sigh of relief and shook my head incredulously. Jasper was the first to break the ice and asked, "Hey, are you all right?"

I nodded my head stiffly and silence followed again. The first bell then rang and I glanced at my locker, remembering I needed to gather the rest of my things before class started. But, before I do that, I owed Jasper a major thank you.

I glanced at him, smiled gratefully and murmured, "Thank you. I mean, I don't know what else to say but... wow."

_How about thanking him a million more times for saving your stupid ass from getting your ass kicked, from getting suspended and possibly arrested!_

Jasper turned to face me and grinned contently. Oh God, what a smile! Not as charming or sexy as Edward's, but pretty close.

"No thank yous' necessary. I enjoyed putting those...bitches in their place."

We both chuckled over his remark and once we settled down, he added, "Besides I should be the one thanking you. I almost lost it there and though those two are..."

"Vile." I supplied, amused.

Jasper smirked, nodding in agreement. "Yes, vile. I was brought up to never raise my hand or disrespect a woman. Even ones like them." He appeared sheepish and I merely nodded, unsure what to say in return.

However, the flood of questions that had been nagging my brain over these past few minutes prompted me to ask, "Why?"

Jasper's eyes met mine as I threw him a puzzled look and instantly his expression was neutral. "Why, what?" he innocently wondered and furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Why did you save my ass like that? I mean...you said you wanted to stick it to them. But I don't understand why you're not in the office reporting me to the Principal. I, I broke a couple of school rules you know."

Seriously, did those words just come out of my mouth? Since when have I cared about following the rules? Besides they don't apply when it comes to those two. Jasper must have thought the same thing because he shook his head in humor and smirked. My cheeks flamed as his eyes searched my face and studied it longer than necessary.

"Bella, I've seen plenty worse happen in this school. And don't worry, your secret is safe with me," he winked, flashing a wicked grin. "and Lauren."

I laughed and felt my face redden once again. "Uh, thanks, really."

Jasper chuckled and bowed his head down the way a cowboy would. "Don't mention it, really. It was my pleasure."

Quite the charmer, isn't he? Now I understand why Alice fell for him. Speaking of her, I wanted to find out more about their story. But wasn't sure how to bring up the subject and frankly it's none of my business. Perhaps I could casually bring it up somehow during mid-conversation. _Really Bella, there's nothing 'casual' about it!_

"So, um," I glanced away from his intense stare and looked at my locker instead. I couldn't stare at him directly while saying this. "I'm sorry for what Lauren said about Alice..."

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Jasper's expression change to a wistful one as his jaw locked. Dammit, it was probably a terrible idea bringing that up. _You think!_

"Don't be, I appreciate it, but..."

I felt this pull to gaze at him again, and when I did my heart dropped as I caught the sad gleam in his eyes.

"she was right." he finished in a forlorn voice.

I tried to refrain from staring at him like a second head appeared on him, but it was impossible. Did I hear him right, or should I have my hearing checked? I thought Jasper implied that Lauren was right about all the horrible things she hinted regarding his involvement with Alice's death.

He spotted the shocked and bewildered look on my face, then clarified, "Let's just say I hurt Alice, broke her heart and trust before she...I didn't mean to and just when I made things right she..."

I looked at him sympathetically as he swallowed and tears filled his eyes. My heart dropped and ached for Jasper. Granted, I don't know him at all but it was evident that he loved Alice deeply. I wish a man would love me like that someday. _Just a man, or a particular one with bronze hair and green eyes? _I shook my head, ridding my thoughts and noticed Jasper looking lost in his own. I considered saying good-bye and leave him to his memories, but my big mouth just had to speak.

"Sorry I brought it up-"

"No, don't be. It's fine, you didn't say anything wrong. Actually, I appreciate it." Jasper flashed a grateful smile and I raised my brow questioningly.

"Come again?"

He chuckled softly. "What I meant was it was thoughtful of you to express your apologies regarding what those... what _they_ said. Truthfully I haven't talked about Alice to anyone in a long time. Though I think about her, all the time."

His expression was pensive as his eyes trained on his left arm and I wondered what he was looking at. "If I hadn't...if I had just said...she would still be here. But, she's gone."

I gazed intently at him and boldly murmured, "And you still blame yourself?"

Jasper nodded stiffly and my heart weighed heavy once again as his face etched with pain.

"Unbelievable." I whispered under my breath, without thinking.

"What is?" Jasper's question caught me off guard and I realized I had voiced my thoughts aloud.

I glanced away, avoiding eye contact with him and muttered, "Well, it's just, he, Edward...he blames himself over what happened to Alice too."

Jasper scoffed. "Why am I not surprised, the dude's name should be broody. He constantly blames himself for everything. Especially when it comes to his sister's... Ali's death."

Curious, I glanced at him again and watched as Jasper eyed his arm again. I was beginning to wonder if there was a reason why he continued to stare at it.

"See, Edward and I used to be best friends-"

The second bell rang, which meant all students were to report to their class in the next four minutes. Dammit, school was about to start and just when things were getting very interesting!

Jasper smiled as his face displayed a rueful look. "Sorry I kept you. You better get to class." He adjusted his book-bag's strap on his shoulder and the sleeve of his shirt pulled up, exposing a tattoo.

Oh my god, is that a tattoo of who I think it is?

"Wow," I whispered in awe and took a tentative step towards him.

Jasper's eyes brimmed with love, but also hinted sadness as he rolled up the sleeve and revealed an incredibly detailed drawing.

"Oh God." I gasped while inspecting the lifelike tattoo of Alice that marked his skin. It was beautiful.

I had only seen a couple of pictures of Alice in the past, so I was aware of what she looked like. Enough to know that this tattoo captured her beauty perfectly and also showed how much she resembled Edward. Though her eyes were blue and her hair was darker in color, she had his similar facial features. I was floored, this proved even more how much Jasper loved Alice. Well, still loves her, enough to mark himself where it will remain there forever. It was utterly touching, and also incredibly heart-breaking.

"It's beautiful Jasper." I complemented, admiring Alice's stunning face.

"Thanks, though this pales in comparison to the real thing. She was so beautiful, like an angel." Jasper's voice trembled during the last couple of words spoken and my chest tightened.

Jesus I feel so sorry for him, and if I do for him then... _you feel even more sorry for Edward. Well, of course I do, but..._My thoughts halted when my eyes set on what appeared to be written Italian words that was right underneath Alice's picture. I had no clue what they translated to, but it looked beautiful.

My curiosity prompted me to ask, "What does it mean? What's written there, I mean."

Jasper eyed me briefly then lowered his gaze, focusing on the elegant script. "It means 'I felt hope'. It was...something that only Alice and I understood."

I nodded and when I was about to respond, Jasper gestured his head towards the hallway. I followed his stare and discovered it was relatively empty. Which means I'm going to be seriously tardy for class. Normally I wouldn't give a damn, but Mr. Berty is a certified asshole. He wasn't forgiving or accepting about lateness.

Jasper spotted my panicked look and urged, "You better hightail yourself to class. I can't save your ass this time."

He smirked teasingly and I laughed, appreciating his humor. No, what am I thinking? I never appreciate anyone really, or have wanted to make new friends. I've been a loner for quite some time. Until now, perhaps I made an acquaintance. _Remember he only hel__ped you to stick it to Lauren and Jessica. No one cares to be friends with you! Right and that's why Edward keeps trying to be in your life._

"Yeah I should get going. Thanks again. Well, see you." I spun on my heel and started to walk away but then a thought crossed my mind.

I have to find out the truth, no matter if it made me late, so be it.

I whirled around and faced Jasper, thankful that he was still lingering around. "Um, Jasper?"

"Yes?"

"Be straight with me. There's more, I mean, why did you really help me?"

Jasper grinned, shook his head in disbelief and said in an amused tone. "Damn, nothing gets by you... I told him so."

I threw him a perplexed glare and demanded, "Told who, what? What do you mean?"

"Look Bella, I helped you because I wanted to and I just happened to be around. And I also did it for an old friend. Now go on."

An old friend, huh? Wait a second... oh, oh! I should have known, of course! Cullen!

I looked on as Jasper turned around and headed down the opposite hallway. "See you around Bella."

I stared at the back of him dumbfounded. What just happened? And damn him for giving me plenty to think about! But, it will have to wait until later. I needed to get to Berty's quickly, or he will rip me a you-know-what! Fuck, I am going to be so late! It's all Lauren and Jessica's fault, I swear they live for fucking up my days in school! I walked briskly, then started running the moment I noticed the halls were clear. _Shit! _I sprinted faster and didn't stop until I reached Mr. Berty's closed classroom door. Great, why couldn't I inherit Riley's athletic gene?

_Are you kidding, Riley hasn't been fit since he graduated high school! His idea of a workout is stuffing his mouth with chips or cookies!_

I exhaled heavily, feeling my chest clenching as I struggled to catch my breath. Damn I'm out of shape! I opened the door carefully, trying to be discreet and quiet. But the fucking, outdated thing just had to squeak, announcing my entrance. Everyone turned around and several pairs of eyes settled on me. Including Mr. Berty's irritable gleamed ones, and also a familiar pair of greens. Edward.

I lowered my head, training my gaze on my sneakers and practically sprinted past Mr. Berty's desk. But ceased immediately in place when his stern, cold voice greeted, "Miss Swan, so nice of you to finally join us. I believe this is your third tardy in the last two weeks. Did you collect a tardy slip from the office?"

I seethed in my thoughts, and my blood boiled as I heard some of my classmates snicker obnoxiously over my predicament. Assholes!

"No sir." I mumbled through gritted teeth, avoiding his sharp glare at all costs.

I also felt another pair of eyes on me, watching my every move. Cullen again. I sighed, waited for Mr. Berty's reply and nervously peeked at him. His face held no expression, but his tightly pursed mouth and narrowed eyes said it all. I was officially on his list again, and being on Mr. Berty's list was not a good thing. Then again, many of his students were. The cranky old bastard hates every kid who attends his class, unless they maintain a perfect 4.0 gpa, kisses his ass and volunteers to be his teacher's assistant. No thanks, part of me would rather be on his list then be one of his 'golden students'. I'm already unpopular enough, so why give any more reason for my fellow peers to talk further shit about me?

"Never mind Miss Swan, just take the next seat that's available. I have a class to teach and you are wasting valuable time." he gestured his head towards an empty desk that was too close to the front of the room for my taste.

Crap! See, one good thing about Berty's class is that he doesn't assign seats. He allows students to choose where they want to sit and it's worked out fine because for the most part everyone sits in their usual seat daily. I prefer my lovely corner desk all the way in the back of the room. It makes me pretty much invisible to those surrounding me. However, today, fucking Tyler Crowley just had to steal my seat! Everyone knows that's where I always sit, fucker. Just because he's a popular, no brain jock, he thinks he runs the school. _Uh, he does Bella! _I made a point to throw him the stink eye and he merely smirked back, leaning back in my seat like he owned it.

_Why that...ugh! _I huffed under my breath and strode furiously over to the only vacant seat. All of a sudden my foot got tangled with someone's backpack strap and I tripped. Thankfully I recovered quickly, nonetheless my almost fall was witnessed by the entire class and laughter ensued. God really doesn't like me. My face reddened and irritation clutched my entire body. _Don't show them that they bothered you! Suck it up!_

"Nice one, klutzilla!" Natalie Daniels bellowed, one of Lauren's puppets, I mean friend. Snickers followed but I ignored them and hurried to my new seat.

"That's enough class. Miss Swan, let's go. Today please." Mr. Berty snapped in an aggravated voice.

I could feel his eyes shoot daggers at me, studying me intently as I slumped down in the seat. I stole a haste look at Berty, breathing a sigh of relief when he directed his attention to the papers on his desk. Oh no... dammit, those are our graded quizzes from Friday! I am seriously screwed; because I'm about 99% sure that I failed it. _Well, you wouldn't have if you actually rea__d the damn play! _I'm sorry but Hamlet didn't do it for me. Now _Romeo and Juliet_ or _A Midsummer's Night's Dream_, those were a couple of Shakespeare's best in my eyes.

I heard a clearing of the throat behind me but I didn't bother to glance at the person who did it. Until he said, "Hi...Bella."

"Hey," I muttered in answer and struggled without looking directly at him.

God, out of anyone else, I had to be stuck with sitting next to him. The very same guy I swore I would try to avoid.

Edward Cullen.

Why is this always happening lately? Fate pushing him and I together? _You're really asking yourself this? Search your heart and you will understand! _No, no soul searching, or anything else involving him. I can do this. I will just look straight ahead, pretend to listen to Berty, and get through the next fifty minutes.

_Oh__,__ this was going to be a long class!_

_**~~~~BB~~~~**_

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><p><strong>AN (long note ahead, lol): Yes, I realize it's a bit of a cliffie and a weird place to stop it, but it continues on from there. The scene in the classroom is long and there are more scenes after. So I figured it would be better to have that all be in chapter 7. Which is ready, however I need to look it over before I send to my beta. I'm going to try my hardest to have it posted in the next few days, so you all wont have to wait long :) **

**I want to apologize that there wasn't enough Edward in this chapter :( But... what do you think of Lauren and Jessica? Evil bitches if you ask me, lol. How about Bella's reaction to them? Part of me cant blame her, I would have wanted to kick their asses too! Also what did you think about the introduction of Jasper? Okay, I have this feeling many of you are going to be worried about him. Even my beta asked, lol, if he might be a romantic interest. I won't confirm that, but I will warn he will make things interesting for Bella and Edward! It's not the last you will read about him :) Let me reassure everyone this is still a B/E story, okay? Don't worry too much about Jasper!**

**Now from the next chapter on, everything takes place in one day and evening. I know, that might be dragging it out a bit, but I have to. Sorry that's how my imagination is working :) However after these next two chaps, things will pick up, especially between Bella and Edward! I will even hint things get steamy and things move pretty quick with them. Yet, things will also get even more complicated, so fair warning! I'm planning (crosses fingers) to have an EPOV in this story. Oh yes, I want all of you to get inside his head and understand him better. I feel this chapter I have in mind will do just that. So much will be revealed about both of them very soon! Not the next chapter, but the one after.  
><strong>

**Okay, I need to wrap up my long note, haa. Before I do I really, really want to thank all of you again for reading, reviewing, adding this story to your alerts. I admit some of the reviews for last chapter bummed me out a little. I wish some of you would try to understand Bella more. I know she's a difficult one, but there's more to her story you all don't know yet!**

**However, I am so grateful for all of your insight and all of the support seriously, because I realize this story is a deep one. With that, I want to _thank_ a few people in particular: **

**_Widdlewombat_- who by the way has some fantastic fanfic stories herself! Check them out, you won't regret it! She's a lovely lady who is becoming my friend and is a BIG supporter of my stories, thank you so much babe! **

**_KimD_-Oh my gosh woman, what can I say? I appreciate your insight regarding every chapter and for accepting and understanding Bella as she is, thank you! **

**_LaPumuckl_- Darling, I am so enjoying becoming your friend and I appreciate all of your love and support for BB! Seriously thank you for getting it! **

**_Darcyfitz_- Oh you know how much I adore you! I am beyond thankful for our friendship and for your amazing support for my writing!**

**_Akjamma_- You have been with me through the beginning when it started with FE, and I love you for that! Thanks a million dear :)**

**All right, that's it with my shout-outs and long ass A/N, sorry for that, haa. But, a few more things, don't forget to add me on Twitter: vampgirl792011! I love to chat with all my readers and make new friends. You want to read upcoming teasers, chat with me about my fics, and talk about Twilight of course, then add my fanpage on FB, vampgirl79fanfiction. Love to see you there! Oh and lastly, if you want some lemon in your life... why don't you read my other FF's? About That Night and For Eternity! ATN has an older, beautiful Bella and sexy younger Edward, which makes for hot, hot lemons! For Eternity has it all, vamps, humans, sexy times and action. Okay enough with my self pimpage, :) Till next time, please leave a review, I do love reading all of them! And I also reply to each one. Chap 7 will be up soon!**

**Love you all, Leslie**


	7. Chapter 7: Tensions Rise & Opening Up

**A/N: Hello my sweet readers :) Happy Tuesday! Hope everyone is doing well! I bet you are surprised to see an update so soon right, lol. I didn't want to keep you all waiting too long, plus I had this finished, so here you go! It was originally way longer, no surprise, right? haa. But I cut it down a bit. I have the next chap just about ready, so hopefully that will be posted soon too! Until then enjoy, this chapter is.. well, lots and lots happen! Quickly I do want to thank everyone for adding this to your alerts, for reviewing, for reading and for all of your support! You have no idea how much it makes me happy and means to me! Okay, I wanted this short and sweet, so on to reading!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, duh, but the great Stephenie Meyer's! Seriously I am so grateful she had that dream about our beloved Edward and Bella years ago! Now for the usual warning:**

*********This story contains a sensitive subject, has references of rape, alcohol, strong language and sexual situations. This is also a drama, not too angsty, romance story. I must warn once again if any of these themes may make you uncomfortable, you probably shouldn't continue reading! This story is Rated M for a reason!******

*****My beta is the wonderful Serenshadow, who I am very proud to call her my friend! I cant thank you enough for all you do, love yah babe!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7: Tensions Rise and Opening Up<br>**

Dammit...

Edward's mere presence was going to make the next forty-five minutes extremely difficult.

I sighed, anxiously watching Berty hand the graded quizzes back to my fellow classmates, and squirmed. Maybe I didn't do as awful as I think I did. Oh, what dream world am I living in? I'm about 99.9% positive that I failed it. See. A good student, one that cared about their education and their future, would be freaking. But me? Well, truthfully, a part of me didn't give a shit. All right, I care enough to want to pass this class so I can graduate and move the hell out of this podonk town. _Well, that won't happen Bella unless you at least st__art getting C's on your tests!_

As I stared off into space, lost in my ponders, a tap on my left shoulder made me jump in my seat.

"Sorry," Edward murmured and I ignored him, avoiding eye contact with him at all costs.

I felt his eyes glare at the side of my head and I groaned irritably under breath. Damn me for wanting to speak to him! _See, it's pointless to avoid him, you just can't stay away!_

"It's fine... I mean, I was just uh...thinking." His light laugh made my belly flip and my heart flutter.

Good God, its ridiculous how my body responds to him over any minor thing!

"I can see that, you sure you're all right?"

I took a deep breath, twisted around in the chair and faced him. Jesus, those eyes of his are to die for! It will take every ounce of will power I possess to keep myself together. Because all I wanted to do, right this very moment, was straddle him and kiss him deeply. Christ, why do I want him so badly? This has been so confusing, the hot and cold feelings I have for him, and it's almost driving me insane! But what's worse is I must look like a damn idiot since I've yet answered his question.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I stared deep into his eyes for a few moments, and then something registered.

I reflected back to what Jasper had said to me just a few minutes ago. His cryptic reason for why he helped me out of that craziness with Lauren. Things were starting to make a whole lot of sense now!

"But... you made sure of that, didn't you?" I accused, raising one of my brows and threw him a pointed look.

Edward's expression was innocent and confused as his brows wrinkled deeply. "Excuse me? I'm not sure what you're-"

"Oh, cut the bull-shit Cullen! I know it was you who sent your friend to check in on me. You signed him up to be part of your 'crusade' to protect me!" I crossed my arms over my chest, studied his face and waited for him to fess up.

Edward's expression remained innocent, but the gleam in his eyes indicated a touch of panic. I knew it! Why am I not surprised that Edward asked Jasper to keep an eye on me since I told him to stay out of my life! _Or perhaps that wasn't the __reason;__ maybe you're being a paranoid bitch.__  
><em>_  
><em>"What friend? Who are you talking about, Bella?" Confusion was etched in Edward's voice and I sensed the sincerity in it.

Okay, so maybe he really didn't ask Jasper to help him out. After all Jasper did mention him and Edward were no longer close friends. _But he could have lied!_

I inhaled sharply, glanced around the room and whispered, "Jasper. I'm talking about Jasper."

I eyed Edward and a mixture of emotions displayed on his face, puzzlement, concern and anger. His jaw clenched as his greens shined with aggravation. All right, it would appear I brought up a sore subject. Wonder what Edward's beef with Jasper is? Well, think about it... Jasper said he had hurt Alice and their relationship was rocky before her death. Maybe Edward knew about it, and still resents Jasper for it. It's only understandable he would defend his sister and be on her side.

"What about him?" Edward's question caught me off guard and snapped me back to earth. "What happened, did he bother you or-"

"You seriously have no idea about-"

"About what Bella? You lost me." Edward's eyes remained locked on mine and I found the slightest hint of guilt in them.

Hold up, is Cullen lying or what? Perhaps that's why he's upset, because he didn't want Jasper to say anything to me about it. Or maybe he didn't ask Jasper to keep an eye on me and has no clue about what happened right before class. So then why did Jasper say he helped me as a favor for a friend? None of this makes any sense!

"Bella, you're worrying me a little here, what happened? And what does it have to do with Jas-"

"Miss Swan," Mr. Berty's voice said capturing my attention, and Edward's.

Damn, I was glad for the interruption! Not because I'm about to find out the result of my quiz, but for the delay from having to reveal to Edward what went down with Lauren and Jess. Truthfully, I preferred if he never find out. Lord knows what his reaction would be to all of it, and besides it's over now. No need to bring it up, right? _Whatever you say..._

"Miss Swan." Mr. Berty repeated, his tone cool and frustrated.

Grudgingly, I gave him my undivided attention and in my periphery I noticed Edward observing our exchange. I wish I could have disappeared as Berty handed me my quiz with the letter F written on it in bright red ink. The asshole might as well used a large neon sign instead and show the entire class my pitiful grade!

I felt Edward's gaze on me, but I paid him no mind and half-listened to Berty as he chastised, "Did you even bother to read the book?"

His critical brimmed eyes set on my face and I lowered my eyes, training them on my desk. I sort of read it, if you count reading the title page and the first few lines. Luckily my classmates were talking amongst themselves in hushed whispers, but I was about 99% sure their topic of discussion was about yours truly.

"Sometimes I wonder if you care about passing my class." Berty concluded, waiting expectantly for me to respond.

But I remained quiet, pulled the paper out of his hand and placed it on my desk. Berty shook his head in disapproval and sighed. "I suggest you see me after class Miss Swan, we have plenty to discuss."

He then turned to Edward, handed him his quiz back and Berty's expression completely changed. Admiration was set on his face as he proudly beamed. "It's refreshing to have a student who actually pays attention to the material, and not use cliff notes."

Berty glared directly at me and I was oh so tempted to flip him the bird. Asshole, that was uncalled for! But well, as they say, the truth hurts. He was right, stupidly I relied on fucking cliff notes and cheat sheets I found online to help my dumb-ass prepare for the quiz. And look what it got me, a big fat F and the ultimate humiliation. I sensed Edward was still watching me and I wished a large sinkhole would appear and swallow me whole. Why in the world do I give a damn what Cullen thinks? _Uh, do you need it spelled out? Becaus__e you like him. L-i-k-e, like!_

"Take note class, Mr. Cullen is a prime example of what I like to see in most of you." Mr. Berty advised, raising the students attention and suddenly all eyes were on Edward.

I actually felt kind of bad for him at the moment. I mean, damn, he can't help how bright he is. _Don't forget he's also sexy as hell and smells so damn good_...Whoa, where did that come from? Snap out of it Swan!

"I understand its senior year, but can you at least try to do what's expected, to the best of your ability? Passing this class is important if you want to graduate."

I made the mistake of looking up and noticed everyone's eyes were now peeled on me. What the fuck? Oh, that's right because geezer Berty was giving me his signature disappointed, reprimanding gaze again. Fuck my life! A few snickers erupted and I glanced over at Edward, noticing his shoulders were tense. His eyes were narrowed and his fists were balled by his sides. Did I miss something? Why is he so angry? Berty placed the embarrassing spotlight on me more than he did on him. I heard a sudden burst of snorts and I whipped my head towards the direction where it came from.

Figures, Tyler Crowley and his crew! Tyler's eyes met mine and I cringed when his gaze lowered, stopping directly at my covered breasts. Jesus, fucking pervert! He was shamelessly undressing my body with his eyes and did he just lick his lips? Gross! Tyler would be the last guy I would ever kiss, let alone have sex with! He had slept with over half of the girls in school more than twice, including freshman girls. He was the very definition of player. The asswipe actually believes he's a ladies' man just because he's on the football team. Typical fucking jock!

I scowled at him icily, rolled my eyes and looked at Edward again. But his focus was dead set on Tyler. Hold up, is that why Edward appears like he's this close to exploding? Because of Tyler eye-fucking me? I didn't have the chance to think more on it because Berty was back, standing in front of my desk and waiting for me to acknowledge him. Oh what now?

"So, Miss Swan, I have an idea..."

What, that you should quit teaching since you really suck at it? If only!

"I was thinking Mr. Cullen could tutor you. Perhaps his outstanding study habits and academic skills will rub off on you. Or at least help bring up your grade a letter."

My mouth dropped and opened so wide a damn grapefruit could easily fit right in. My shitty day just got a hell of a lot worse! Tutoring? By Cullen of all people? I was trying to stay clear of him! Now we have to spend time together after school working on Berty's tedious and boring ass assignments? Perfect!

_Bella, hello, don't look at it that way. Look at the bigger picture; you get to inhale more of Cullen's scent, stare into his gorgeous eyes, daydream more about touching his hair and kissing his sexy mouth! _

Fine, I get it! All I can hope for at this point was for Edward to refuse. _Oh sure, you wish!_

"Well, what do you say Mr. Cullen? Would you be willing to help Miss Swan by tutoring her after school every week for the remainder of the school year?"

What? It's only March, so that means this tutoring bull-shit would continue for over three months? Was the old man kidding?

I closed my mouth, exhaled sharply and proceeded to argue to Berty about this horrible suggestion, until Edward said, "Sure, I would be glad to Mr. Berty."

He glanced my way and I swear I noticed his mouth split into a half grin. Oh why that... He's doing this on purpose! He sees this as the ultimate opportunity for us to spend more time together.

_No shit Bella, and quit bitching because deep down you have no problem with it! _

But, tutoring! Anything but that, maybe I should ask Berty to just give me an extra credit assignment instead? The second Charlie finds out I've been failing this class, I will be so screwed! Then again, Charlie doesn't check on me much when it comes to school, since I play it like I'm the model student. If he only knew!

I need to cover my tracks, which means the tutoring session will have to take place at the library or at Edward's. Hmm, the thought of visiting the Cullen home surprisingly intrigues me. I heard Edward's parents are shit loaded and their home is massive and beautiful compared to the plain ones in town.

"All right, excellent. It's settled then, thank you Mr. Cullen. We will discuss the details after class." Mr. Berty strolled away before I was able to protest and directed us to face the front.

"Now, due to those who didn't even bother to read or pay attention to Hamlet, I think a refresher course is now in order." Simultaneous groans bellowed throughout the room, but were silenced immediately when Berty threw us a disapproving look.

"Bella," Edward whispered, tapping my shoulder to grab my attention. I glared at him petulantly, shook my head and faced forward, eying Berty.

Ignoring him was going to be more difficult than I thought. _Then don't! You're behaving like a child you know!_ Maybe, but damn what more do I have to say for him to understand that I'm not interested in anything he has to offer?

"Bella, please. Say something." Edward pleaded, his dulcet voice so sexy to my ears.

Damn him!

"For the remainder of class we will be watching Hamlet the movie. And not that dreadful modernized version."

Groans and whispered protests emitted, but old man Berty dismissed us and set up the dvd player. After he asked one of the students to turn off the lights, I tuned him and everyone else out. Perfect, nap time for Swan! I laid my head down on the desk, the moment Berty turned his back to the class, and closed my eyes. Ahh, finally some peace...

"Bella," Edward murmured, shaking my left shoulder gently with his hand.

Oh, for Godsakes! So much for a little snooze. I inhaled deeply, raised my head and twisted halfway in my seat.

"What?" I demanded, my voice groggy and low.

His striking eyes were peeled on my face, studying it intently. Christ, why does he always do that? Stare at me like I'm some fucking fascinating painting or something? _  
><em>

"Well, um I just wanted to... I'm sorry if you don't particularly like the idea of my tutoring you but I think-"

"You said yes on purpose, didn't you?" I cut in, throwing him an accusing glare.

Edward's expression was harmless but I wasn't buying it, so I continued on with my rant. "Any opportunity presented where you have a shot at being around me or helping me, you seize it. How many times do I have to remind you that I'm fine. My life is great and don't need your friendship, okay? You can also tell Jasper to back off; I don't need a bodyguard either!"

_Wow, ungrateful much? Bella, would it be possible to drop the bitchiness a few notches? Haven't you attacked the poor guy enough? _

As guilt seeped in and clutched a firm hold of my heart, Edward replied, "Bella, it's not necessary to keep repeating yourself. I get it, message received. This is only tutoring and it's obvious that you, ah, need it. So let me hel-, I mean, I don't mind doing it. And by the way, I didn't ask Jasper to _**bodyguard**_ you." Edward's face appeared serious and pensive as his brows furrowed.

"Really?" I shot back and narrowed my eyes, suspicious. "Hmm, well how convenient was it that Jasper came to my rescue just in the nick of time when my ass was about to be handed to me by Lauren?"

Oh shit, did I just...dammit! I just hinted about the crap that happened between Lauren and I! Edward looked genuinely shocked and I felt like the dumbest fool ever existed. He truly had no idea.

_How would he, Bella? Unless he spied on you, obviously he__ didn't. So then why did he ask Jasper to check on me?_ God, just when I think I begin to understand Cullen, I'm thrown for another loop!

"What the hell happened with you and Lauren, Bella?" Edward's quiet tone was hard and I flinched in my seat.

His face wore a mixture of anger and concern as he appeared lost in thought. Damn, I wish I kept my big ass mouth shut! _Nice going Swan! _I leaned over in order to keep the conversation between us and then stole a quick glance at Berty. I was relieved, finding him still sitting at his desk, watching the movie with an excited look on his wrinkled face. Thankfully, the tv volume was on high and it drowned out our voices. Apparently it seemed Edward and I weren't the only ones chatting and not paying attention, most of my peers were softly speaking as well.

I sighed heavily and whispered, "Nothing Edward, its fine."

He raised an eyebrow questioningly and it was plainly obvious he didn't buy my bullshit.

"Really, it was nothing. Just Lauren and Jessica being their usual idiotic, bitchy selves. Nothing to be concerned over. Besides, Jasper...took care of it."

Edward's eyes flamed in irritation over the mention of Jasper and it confused me. I figured he wanted Jasper to keep an eye on me, though he still hasn't confirmed my theory.

"I bet he did." Edward mumbled and I didn't miss the sarcasm in his voice. "Are you sure you're all right? Did Lauren hurt you?"

Right on cue, a sharp bolt of pain radiated across my ribs and I winced quietly. I had almost forgotten Lauren punched my stomach pretty damn hard earlier. Fucking bitch! I partly wished Edward's concern didn't have an effect on me, but of course it did. I still don't understand why he bothers with me, why he even cares.

_You do understand, you just refuse to acce__pt it!_

"No, she didn't." I fibbed, struggling to keep a straight look on my face as Edward's eyes locked dead on mine.

His expression softened while he murmured, "Bella, you can tell me if she hurt or upset you in anyway-"

"Psst, hey Cullen!" Tyler Crowley's deep, annoying ass voice whispered, intruding in our discussion.

Hold up! He was all the way in the back of the room, in my seat, and now he's sitting in one of the desk's behind Edward? This isn't good, what the hell does he want? Edward's shoulders tensed and the look on his face was steely as he turned to face in Tyler's direction. Knowing Tyler as I do, he wants to stir things up. It's what he's best at, always instigating and trying to pick fights with whomever he could. Judging by the angry look on Edward's face it's safe to assume Tyler was messing with the wrong person today.

"So, you're going to tutor Swan, huh?" Tyler winked in my direction and curled his lips into a suggestive smile.

Ugh, nasty! That fucking perv has no shame! Apparently Edward didn't care for what Tyler said, and did, because he threw him a cold, warning glare. However, Tyler was oblivious and continued on with his ramble, "You know man, word is Swan is easy. Maybe you can tap that."

Why that disgusting... My hands rolled into tight fists and I glared at Tyler, presenting the nastiest stare. Again it had zero affect on him, he just chuckled along with his immature, brainless friends.

"Tyler, I swear to God if you say another word..." Edward advised under his breath and through gritted teeth. Holy shit, it looked like he was this close to jumping out of the chair and beat the living hell out of Crowley!

I've never seen Edward this furious; his cream colored skin now a deep shade of red and his jaw was clenched so tautly it appeared it may shatter in two any second now. His reaction with Tyler was worse than when he caught creepy dude in my room Friday night. Idiotically, Tyler didn't heed Edward's warning, just laughed some more and tilted his head back as his shoulders quaked.

"Oh come on Cullen, lighten the fuck up! Don't tell me you would pass up the chance to fuck emo chick there."

Uh, hello I am right here! Jesus, he is talking about me like I'm not in the room!

"Shut the hell up Crowley-" Edward threatened in a voice that was unrecognizable and frankly, pretty intimidating.

"I heard she let a guy fuck her in the ass Friday night." Tyler glanced at me and smirked while blatantly eye-fucking me. "Damn bro if you pass that shit up, I'd be happy to take your place. I want a big chunk of that, I'd break her in half."

Disgust gripped me and my eyes widened as a light pool of tears swam in them. So Lauren was actually speaking the truth! Her, or Jessica spread that repulsive rumor that I screwed creeper guy. They have no fucking idea what really happened that night, and they don't know anything about me! How could they say such revolting things? Oh come on, you aren't that surprised are you?

_These are the very same assholes who have been cruel to you since you moved__ back to Forks!_

"Up fucking yours Tyler!" I hissed a little too loud. Yet not enough evidently because Berty was still lost the Shakespeare world.

Tyler snickered, wiggled his eyebrows and hungrily licked his mouth. Oh I'm ready, so ready to knee his fucking balls!

"Is that an invitation Swan? Because if so-"

"That's it!" Edward shouted, raising up from his seat.

My heart thumped violently as fear struck my chest. Believe me, I wanted Edward to wipe the floor with Crowley. But not here in class, not when Berty will witness it and send Edward to the Principals office.

"Wait Edward, don't!" I advised, reaching out to grab his wrist, but it was too late.

Edward and Tyler were now standing inches apart and were immersed in the ultimate stare-down. Oh shit...

"If you say one more disrespectful word about Bella, to her, or so much as lay a finger on her then-"

"Is that a threat Cullen, huh? Please, you're a fucking pussy! You wont even punch me!" Tyler taunted and shoved Edward's chest hard with the palm of his hand.

Edward rocked backward, nearly fell to the floor but recovered in time. His greens then flashed in fury and his hands balled into fists by his sides as he gave Tyler a murderous look. Oh God, I better step in and stop this somehow, for Edward's sake at least. Even though Tyler deserves a major ass kicking, it isn't worth Edward getting suspended!

"What in the devil is going on here?" Mr. Berty's appalled etched voice echoed around in the now silent room. "Crowley, Cullen, that's enough-"

Both guys ignored Berty's warnings as the entire class watched the scene unfold.

"Don't be so sure Crowley that I won't!" Edward finally countered and I didn't miss his arms twitch. He was ready to snap, just like I had earlier with the skank twins.

Tyler grinned from ear to ear, gloating over Edward's temper, and gestured his hands in defense. "Look man, I'm just saying what you're thinking, what everyone is talking about. Almost every guy in this school wants a piece of that little whore-"

"Mr. Crowley, last warning." Berty interrupted but he was once more ignored by them.

"You shut your fucking mouth Crowley or I will shut it for you, permanently." Edward threatened, his tone laced with malice.

Suddenly I saw the light, so to speak. At last the blinders were removed and I realized Edward truly, wholeheartedly had feelings for me. Possibly for a long time, which I was unaware of. I wonder, when did his feelings for me develop and why? It wasn't just one sided, not anymore. Maybe I'm starting to feel something too, or at least I appreciate him coming to my defense, yet again.

"Go ahead man, do it!" Tyler dared and curled his fingers towards his chest, signaling Edward to make the first move.

Oh no...

"But you won't because you're a fucking wuss! Ever since your lunatic sister killed herself, your entire family lost it!"

What? What did Tyler mean by that?

"Shut up Crowley, this is your last warning!"

"Crowley, Cullen, both of you report to the Principals office right-"

"Come on Cullen, everyone talks in this town, you seriously think no one knows about the town doctor's _**drinking**_ problem? His ass shouldn't be treating patients, he could kill them!"

Edward's breathing became erratic and I watched in horror as he raised his left hand, preparing to swing at Tyler. Quickly, I rose of my chair and walked over to Edward.

"Edward, stop! He's not worth it-"

"And what kind of father throws the mother of his children in a mental hospital?"

Say what? Oh okay, I take back my last thought, Edward should so beat the crap out of Tyler's cruel ass!

"Fuck you Tyler!" Edward roared and just as he swung his arm, Mr. Berty appeared out of nowhere and settled himself between them.

Big mistake because Tyler lunged for Edward and in a matter of seconds both of their fists were swinging everywhere. Jesus Christ this isn't happening, is it? I watched in complete shock, my feet frozen in place as a couple of Tyler's friends stepped in. One pushed Tyler back, while the other grabbed a hold of Edward, shoved him away and Berty simply stood there looking furious. Once the tension slightly dissipated Berty reprimanded Tyler, ordering him to report to the Principals office. Good, that's what the ass wipe deserves! Tyler cursed angrily under his breath, cast Edward a menacing glare and stalked out of the classroom.

Edward still appeared like he wanted to tare Tyler apart limb from limb. Yet he quietly listened as Berty lectured him on proper classroom behavior. Just as Mr. Berty said he wanted Edward to make a trip to the Principals office as well, I intervened. Berty and Edward's faces mirrored the same surprise look when I suggested, "Mr. Berty, that isn't necessary. It wasn't Edward's fault. Tyler started it, saying inappropriate things about me and Edward was only defending me."

A few of the students nodded their heads in agreement, confirming my statement and Mr. Berty shook his head curtly, processing everything I said.

He then glanced at Edward again and said in a flat, firm voice, "Because you're an excellent student, I'll let this slide, only this time. Based on what Miss Swan stated and also the last bits of the conversation I heard. However, I don't condone your behavior or use of foul language in my class. So keep in mind Mr. Cullen I will not tolerate it again. Just to be sure, I am giving you detention after school tomorrow-"

"But that's not fair!" I protested and Mr. Berty threw me a crisp look, silencing me.

Edward discreetly smiled at me, expressing his gratitude and I half smiled in return. Well, it's only fair I defend him for once after everything he has done for me. Besides, Berty is being an ass, that punishment is bull-shit!

"Lastly, a word of advice Mr. Cullen, any conflicts you have with Mr. Crowley needs to be handled outside of school grounds."

Edward nodded, remaining silent and I wanted to smack Old Berty upside his head for that suggestion. So basically he seems to be fine with kids handling their issues outside of school, knowing they will handle it in a violent manner? Nice!

Edward sighed, lifted his head, faced Mr. Berty and apologized for his actions. I wanted to shake his shoulders; he had nothing to be sorry for! It was all Tyler's doing!

_No, it was your fault, they fought over you! _

I have to make this up to Edward somehow; the guilt was becoming too unbearable to deal with. Hold on, what happened with avoiding Cullen at all costs? To the anger you harbored towards him? Guess it pretty much flew out of the window the second Edward came to my rescue again and was willing to fight for me.

"All right class, show's over. Let's resume where we left off with the movie. We have a good twenty minutes before class is dismissed." Mr. Berty clapped his hands and everyone calmed down, directing their attention back to the television.

"Miss Swan, Mr. Cullen, please take your seats." He ordered and spun on his heel, ready to direct back to his desk, but my voice ceased him from taking another step.

"Wait, Mr. Berty,"

"What is it Miss Swan?" Berty whirled around and waited for me to proceed.

I felt Edward's eyes on me as I stammered nervously, "I was thinking, could Edward have a moment to um, calm down? Outside in the hallway, please?"

Berty narrowed his eyes critically and his face displayed his evident annoyance.

_Good one Swan, the man already lost his patience due to the chaos that occurred minutes ago and now you're making things worse! _

Perhaps, but I don't give a damn, Edward still looked pissed and I believe he needs a few minutes to cool off. All right, I confess, I suggested it for selfish reasons. I wanted to speak with him and ask him about the shocking things Tyler said about Edward's parents. _It's none of your business, leave it alone!_

Mr. Berty frowned in disapproval and gazed at Edward. "Mr. Cullen, do you need a moment, as Miss Swan suggested?"

I peeked at Edward from behind my shoulder and nodded my head once, silently advising him to go along with it. "Yes, I do Mr. Berty, please."

Berty sighed and gestured his hands in mid-air, surrendering. "Very well. You have five minutes." He threw us a parting stare, shook his head and walked back to his desk.

Edward's expression appeared grateful as he mouthed "Thank you." and headed towards the door.

I followed suit, joining him but stopped dead in my tracks when Berty snapped, "Just where do you think you're going Miss Swan?"

"Sir, I really would like Bella to accompany me, please."

Hushed whispers and catcalls echoed throughout the walls and Berty rubbed his temples in frustration. We were just making his day, weren't we?

"Fine Mr. Cullen, but note you are pushing my limit."

"I understand, thank you sir." Edward politely replied and hurriedly directed me out of the classroom.

The moment the door shut with a squeaky, piercing bang, our eyes locked. Suddenly a bundle of nerves settled in my stomach and my heart raced. _Get a grip Swan, what's the deal?_ It's him, it's Edward. He makes me feel things I haven't felt before, refused to feel and it frightens the shit out of me. I shoved my thoughts aside and observed Edward as he paced back and forth with his hands clenched by his sides. His face no longer showed the fury it held just seconds ago, instead now it appeared pensive. Edward has a lot going on in that fascinating mind of his and I wished I could read it.

Damn me, but I longed to discover more about him. I took a deep breath and stopped looking at him since I was getting dizzy. Jesus, he needs to quit doing that!

I trained my eyes on my worn sneakers and murmured, "Are you okay?"

_No he isn't, why do you think he's pacing around with an angry gleam in his eyes?_

Finally Edward ceased his fickle movements and turned to look at me. He inhaled deeply and anxiously I glanced up at him, waiting for his response. Edward's eyes lingered on mine as he uncurled one of his hands and scratched the back of his neck. God, I wished it was my hand touching his skin. He chuckled bitterly, shook his head in disbelief and jammed his hands inside his jean pockets.

Uh, am I missing something? Why is he laughing?

"I should be the one asking you that question Bella."

I raised a brow in confusion. "What? Why?"

Edward's eyes widened and his jaw clenched again, the livid look planted back on his face. "Why? Bella..."

He shook his head in disbelief and backed into one of the lockers, leaning against it. "Look, I should apologize for losing it in front of you. It's just the sickening, repulsive things Tyler said about you, to you, made me lose it."

His eyes slipped closed and he released a shaky breath. The wounded and stressed look on his beautiful face gutted me. All of a sudden I had this urge to comfort him; I wanted to eliminate all of the pain he harbors deep in his heart. _Just like he wants to do for you. _For some reason I still had a hard time comprehending how in just a matter of brief time I started developing these...feelings. It makes zero sense, doesn't it?

"Bella, are you listening to yourself?" Edward asked, his agitated etched voice directing me back to the present. "How can you dismiss the way he treated you? The way others have been treating you for so long? It's unacceptable and I wish...I had come to your defense earlier." His voice had lowered and I detected the remorse in it; once again Edward touched me in ways I wish he hadn't.

Ah, so maybe this was what all this heroic and pushing to be my friend business is about. He feels guilty about all the hell I have been through here in Forks. It would have been nice if he had encouraged Lauren to back off of me last school year. _Maybe he did, you do__n't know!_ Doesn't matter, what's done is done I suppose. While half of me truly appreciated what he had said; the other was conflicted and continued to wonder what his intentions are. I didn't care to get into that whole topic just yet, instead I decided to keep the conversation about Crowley.

"Tyler is an asshole Edward. I don't give a fuck how he feels or what he says. It's...whatever. I've always been the talk of the school and the town. It doesn't faze me." I shrug nonchalantly and Edward's eyes immediately opened.

Nervously, I watched him as he pushed himself off the locker and strolled towards me, closing the space between us. My breath hitched when we were standing only inches away and his hypnotizing jades stared into my browns.

"I don't believe that." he countered in a gentle yet firm tone of voice.

I don't care how undeniably attractive he is, he still irritates the hell out of me!

"I don't care what you believe!" I snapped, my voice sounding weak and vulnerable. I wanted to slap myself for allowing him to get underneath my skin yet again!

"Yes you do. That's the thing Bella, you put up this shield to protect yourself and push others away. You want everyone to believe you are strong and you are but...someday that fire I see in your eyes, will burn out."

God, why do his words always strike a chord in my heart?

I shook my head, disagreeing and narrowed my eyes. "You have no idea what you're talking about! You think you get me because you see Alice every time you look at me. But I'm _**nothing**_ like her."

Edward nodded his head in agreement and the anguish that reflected in his eyes made my chest constrict. "You're right, I know little about you. But I want to change that. Open your heart to me Bella, even just a little."

A hard lump appeared in the back of my throat as wetness stung my eyes. Damn him, I don't need this, I can't allow him to... _what, care about you? Perhaps it's finally time to lower your defenses and let someone be there for you!_

"I, I can't Edward. Look, thanks again for coming to my rescue but-"

I turned my back to him and started for the classroom door, but Edward's smooth hand on my wrist stopped me in place. "Don't do that Bella, there's no reason for you to shut me out. Listen, you are right about Alice and I owe you an apology."

Huh, what for? I'm the one who has been a pain in his ass and giving him a hard time the past two days.

I sighed and whirled around to meet his gaze. Edward's expression was anxious and sheepish as he proceeded, "You were right... I mean the things you said on Saturday were right. I shouldn't have invaded your privacy and entered your room while you were sleeping. I sure as hell shouldn't have taken you to La Push just to confront you about your-"

His eyes set on my covered wrists and I flinched as the embarrassment from that afternoon resurfaced. "And I definitely shouldn't have compared you to my sister. Alice would have been pissed at me for the way I handled things." He laughed humorlessly and cast me a remorseful look. "She would have liked you. I think you two would have been great friends."

I tried to dismiss the doubt I harbored over his prediction and shook my head. "No offense but I doubt it. I don't have any friends."

"Yes, you do Bella."

I chewed on my bottom lip, preventing the tears from flowing and lowered my eyes. Edward walked one final step, leaving our bodies tightly pressed. My breath caught again as he angled his head close to mine and my stomach flip-flopped when his warm breath tickled my face. Jesus Christ, he's so gorgeous and his ripped chest against my body felt glorious! And don't get me started on how he smells, too fucking perfect...All coherent thoughts then flew right out the window and I felt as if time had abruptly ceased.

"You have me, and I'm not going anywhere."

I shook my head in protest and tried disregarding the way his words affected me. "No, you shouldn't promise that. Please just-"

"Don't be afraid, Bella." Edward's soft fingers delicately brushed over my cheek and I closed my eyes, embracing the electrifying sensations that invaded my insides. "There may be a lot of things about you I don't know. But what I do know, _**believe**_, is that you want a friend."

I opened my eyes and Edward captured my chin in his hand, giving me no choice but to look at him. My heart hammered fiercely against my chest when his velvet toned voice whispered, "And you want someone to care about you, to lov-"

He cut himself ahead and I held my breath in anticipation as our lips gravitated closer. Wait a minute, did he just imply I wanted to be loved? _Forget that, you're about to kiss him! Edward Cullen is going to kiss you! _Damn me for wanting this so badly...

A clearing of the throat made us flinch and immediately we pulled back, then turned our heads to see who rudely interrupted our almost kiss. Of course, Berty! Great timing old bastard!

"Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan, times up. Let's go." Berty irritably ushered us back inside the room and without another word we walked inside.

Goddamn mood killer! It's just as well I guess. If it weren't for Berty, I wouldn't have snapped out of the spell Cullen put me under. I have to come to my senses, I can't believe Edward and I almost kissed! No matter how much I try to make myself believe I'm relieved we didn't go through with it, the truth was I wish we had. I can no longer deny that things have taken an riveting turn between us.

Now I was more confused than ever.

**~~~~BB~~~~**

Since there were less than fifteen minutes left of class I planned on spending it by listening to some tunes. I stole a quick peek at Berty making sure the coast was clear and pulled out my Ipod from my backpack. I placed the ear buds inside my ears, turned on the Ipod and waited for it to load. Once all systems were go, I listened to one of my play-lists and rested my head on top of my desk. Suddenly a piece of paper slipped underneath my folded arms. I raised my head and glanced around the room puzzled. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Edward watching the movie, or at least doing a hell of an acting job pretending to.

Ever since we came back inside class, neither of us had spoken a word to each other. As if the kiss we almost shared never happened. Maybe it was just my imagination, I mean how fucking stupid am I, believing that Edward would even want to kiss me?

_Uh, remember all the things he said earlier? What's it going to take for you to finally grasp that Edward Cullen is really interested in you! _

I shook my head, silencing my inner commentary and glanced down at the folded piece of notebook paper. Nervously, I unfolded it and read his beautiful legible script. My heart caught in my throat the moment I processed the words written.

_Let's meet for lunch today._

I took a deep breath, retrieved a pen out of my bag and scribbled back a reply.

_Sure, why not? I already broke my promise to stay away from you!_

I checked on Berty first before handing Edward the paper back and anxiously waited for his answer. I kept my eyes trained on the television, half watching the film and tapped my foot softly on the floor. God, what am I doing? I can't believe I just said that shit to... A light tug on my sleeve startled me and I glanced down finding the paper back on the desk again. I exhaled, unfolded it and eagerly read the words.

_Good, looking forward to it. And for the record, I'm relieved you broke your promise. Meet me at the courtyard. We'll eat outside, looks like the weather may clear up by lunch. Oh, and thanks for saving my ass from not having a weeks worth of detention. My father would have killed me._

Those last words didn't settle with me, suppose I have Tyler to thank for that. His cruel, big ass mouth revealed things about Edward's parents I had no idea about. Speaking of that jack-ass, how does he know such personal information about them anyway? I never heard it being spoken of in school. Then again, I always distanced myself from my peers. I couldn't help but be a tad curious regarding The Cullen's. Since I didn't have the chance to ask Edward about the things Tyler said before, maybe I could ask him about it at lunch.

_Don't push it Bella, if he wants you to know, he'll tell you._

Finally I wrote back a response and handed it to him.

_All right, courtyard it is. But if I get soaked by a surprise arrival of rain, it's on you! And yo__u're welcome, no problem. I owed you big time for Friday night, for my reaction at the beach, and for treating you like shit._

Oh god, what is he doing to me? I should keep him at arm's length and place all blame on him. But I'm partly at fault as well. I could have said a few things differently to him and given him a real chance to explain himself more. I have a feeling that our time together at lunch will be very interesting.

A moment passed and the piece of paper was back in my hands...

_Fine, it's a deal. If it rains, I'm to blame ;) And no need to apologize, I completely understand now where you were coming from. I offended you, and for that I'm sorry. So... what do you say to starting over, or at least move forward from here?_

The tiniest hint of a smile cracked my lips as I wrote him my final reply.

_Thank you and I would like that...but bear with me. I'm not used to the "friendship thing"_

I swallowed thickly after sliding the paper back to Edward and cursed myself. _You are breaking all of your promises at this rate and seriously lowering your shield! Hope you're prepared for when he hurts you!_

I wanted to believe more than anything that he won't.

The bell rang and I rose out of my seat, then placed my backpack over my shoulder. I turned to face Edward and noticed he was no longer in his seat and leaving the classroom. He stopped in place at the doorway, threw me a parting gaze and presented that sexy ass crooked grin of his. Then he walked away.

Wait, why did he leave? He and I were supposed to stay and talk with Berty about the tutoring.

"Miss Swan, may I have a word please?" Mr. Berty summoned and I sighed deeply, sauntering over to him.

His speech was short and to the point, informing me that due to the excitement in class today he rather discuss the tutoring deal with Edward and I tomorrow. Well, no skin off my back because I was so ready for second period and for time to fly. I was anxious for lunch to arrive and I couldn't help but constantly ponder about what would happen. As I headed for my next class a thought came to mind; Edward didn't respond back to what I written last. Huh, maybe he didn't have anything to say or maybe... I discovered a surprise waiting for me when I shoved my hands inside my hoodie pockets, a folded piece of paper.

Why that sneaky... he must have slipped this inside my pocket without my noticing. I swear this guy is smooth! Quickly, I walked towards the restroom, stood beside the entrance and pulled the note out of my pocket. My heart thundered against my ribs and warm feelings covered my chest as I read his perfect handwriting.

_Bella, I will give you all the time you need, and we can take things very slow. By the way, you should smile more often. It's beautiful._

I think my damn heart just melted. How could I be so naive and fall into his bull-shit?

_But it's not Bella, quit denying it and face the music! You feel something for him and there's no turning back now. _

I took a deep, shaky breath, held my head up high and headed to my next class, with a smile on my face that never faltered.

**~~~~BB~~~~**

**A/N: *peeks head out* Hello again ;) Yes, wow right? Some progress has finally been made, and oddly enough we may have Tyler to thank for that, haa. God what a freaking creep, right? Yeah you will find out many of the guys in FH are gross pervs, proof of that to come in chap 8! Yeah things will continue to get interesting, intense and also um... a bit hot! Oh yeah, not yet dears, but soon :) I am sure many of you are surprised by Bella's sort of change of feelings regarding Edward. But come on I think the guy needed a bit of a break, lol. He did own up to his faults at least, and Bella really needs to just start trusting others! She really does need a friend. Interesting enough she may have another friend, than just Edward, soon! Don't you all just love that I drop these hints? haa. So, as always I would love to know what you thought of the chapter, any fav lines? I know I have a few and its ones that Bella said, for example her cracks on Berty, lmao. Or the sweet things Edward said to her, *sigh***

**I always love to read what you guys think! Okay, once again I want to thank all of you for reading, reviewing, giving this story a full try! I know it's a roller coaster and it can be tough at times. We are actually going to have a bit of a light moment, or two, coming up :) But then things will get heavy and pretty dark again! Just thought I warn you. Once more I will remind you all I am a believer of HEA, so there will be one! Oh and remember when I mentioned in the first chapter of this story that this would be a short story? Its not turning out that way, haa. We are prob about half way in though, but we still have a bit to go! All right before i finally say goodbye I wanted to share with you all some great news!...**

**Beautifully Broken has been nominated for a Sunflower Award! Yep, for real! I am so flattered and very excited about this ;) If you like to vote for BB, the link to the Sunflower Awards is on my profile under the announcements section. Voting starts the 29th of this month, dont forget, and lasts until Feb! I would so appreciate it very much!**

**Speaking of appreciation, haa, I do appreciate all of you very much :) Don't be shy, leave a review or message me. I love to hear from you all! Oh and don't forget you can find me on Twitter, vampgirl792011. I love to tweet with my readers, plus I post cool stuff regarding my fics. Feel free to also add me on FB under vampgirl79fanfiction. Its a fan page, so you have to like it. Its pretty cool, I post teasers for my stories, chat with my readers and more. Okay, that's it out of me, till next time. I am hoping to have chap 8 up in a week! Love you all loads, Leslie  
><strong>


	8. Chapter 8: Lunch Drama and Progress

**A/N: Hi sweeties, pretty long time, no see, huh? Sorry about that ;( As some of you know, who follow me on Twitter and FB, there's a reason for the delay with the update. My hubby's grandpa passed away a couple of weeks back, so things took a very sad turn for awhile. We had to fly out of the state to attend the funeral, and of course I wanted to be there for hub and his family. It was a tough time ;( Anyhow, I appreciate all of you for understanding, and for those who sent out their prayers and condolences. It meant a lot! Okay, I will chat more at the end, let's get to reading, haa. The usual thank you's to all of you who added this story to your fav's, alerts, who read, and review. Much appreciated!**

**Disclaimer: Of course not mine, but the genius Stephenie Meyer's! But what is mine is the two disc BD part 1 Dvd that I bought from Target, yea! I am loving it :) Now for the usual warning:**

*****This story contains a sensitive subject, has references of rape, alcohol, strong language and sexual situations. This is also a drama, not too angsty, romance story. I must warn once again if any of these themes may make you uncomfortable, you probably shouldn't continue reading! This story is Rated M for a reason!**

*****My beta is the super-awesome and sweet Serenshadow, give her some love everyone since she stayed up so late to beta this for me, for your reading pleasure! Thanks so much babe, (muah)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8: Lunch Drama and Progress<strong>

I'm usually pretty stoked when it's lunch time, but today I'm even more so.

I'm also anxious, extremely anxious.

I'm meeting Cullen, after all.

Just as he predicted, it isn't raining, in fact the weather was actually nice. Partly cloudy with the sun trying to push it's way through the fluffy cotton looking air. All right, I think Edward should be a weather man, it could be his calling. I shook my head over my silly random thought and headed towards the cafeteria.

Speaking of Edward, I hadn't seen him much throughout the day. Except when passing each other in the hallway in between classes. He had said hello and reminded me about lunch, flashing that panty-dropping, lopsided grin of his.

I swear, it's ridiculous how his smile alone turns me on.

_No, no, no, don't you start Swan! You're just meeting him for lunch as friends, that's it! _

Friends...could I really build a friendship with Edward? The idea of it excites me, but terrifies the shit out of me too. If it weren't for all the craziness that went down in Berty's class this morning, would any of this be happening? Speaking of the old prude, I was called into the Principals office earlier and was asked to share my side of the story regarding what unfolded between Edward and Tyler. I bet Edward was called in also, I hope things went well with him.

Knowing Tyler, he probably conjured up a bull-shit story and placed all the blame on Edward. Fucking prick! I definitely plan on asking Cullen about what the Principal had to say to him. And I haven't forgotten to find out if any of what Tyler said in class about Edward's parents were true. It's been on my mind all day and I still couldn't wrap my head around it. I took a deep breath and entered the cafeteria. Immediately, noisy chatter filled my eardrums as I walked in and headed straight towards the very crowded line. Of course a few jerks just had to stare at me while I passed through.

Apparently that damn rumor about me is still floating around. Great! A part of me wished this day would be done with, because by tomorrow these assholes will be gossiping about someone else. Well, a girl can only hope, right?

I went and grabbed the usual for my lunch, a turkey sandwich, an apple and a vitamin water to drink. There's no chance in hell I was going to eat any of that disgusting cafeteria food. I cringed, stealing a curious peek at the choices of the day. Let's see there's hamburgers, at least it looks like hamburger, fish, and some kind of chicken. Or is it pork? Whatever it was I refuse to put any of it in my body. Usually I lean towards buying a sandwich because it's made by the local grocery deli, so I know it's safe. Well, I don't know that for sure but I haven't received food poisoning from it, so I suppose it's a good sign.

Finally the line moved and I was approaching closer to the cashier. Just a couple of more minutes and I'll be meeting Edward over at the courtyard. At least, I hope so, because I haven't seen him around since I've been here. Weird. Maybe he's running late. _Or he's standing you up! _No, he wouldn't do that, right? Ugh, there I go again with my trust issues. I need to chill the hell out and believe that he will be there. Suddenly a familiar voice spoke, pulling me out of my thoughts and took me by total surprise.

"Um, hi Bella."

Angela? What does she want? _Ah gee, what do you think? She wants to talk to you_! Yeah, she probably wants to fish some dirt out of me regarding what happened Friday night so she can spill all to Jessica. _You don't believe she would do that, do you?_

"Hi." I muttered, my voice flat and cold.

I didn't even bother to turn around and face her, just continued moving forward in line. Angela's sad sounding sigh made my fucking heart crumble, but I pushed my emotions aside and stared at the people ahead.

"Bella, it doesn't have to be this way. I miss you. You are... were my best friend, not Jess."

Huh, could have fooled me! Then why did it always seem I was second best compared to her? _Because you made it that way Bella! You forced Angela to choose sides! _I inhaled sharply and kept ignoring her, hoping she would take the damn hint.

Of course she didn't, and continued her plea. "Bella please, stop shutting me out. You need a friend. I look at you and you just...more and more everyday, you look miserable."

I detected the choked up tone in her soft voice and tried to ignore how my chest tightened.

_See, you still care! Admit it, you miss your friendship with her._

"Really? Good to know, thanks Ang." I snapped in a tone dripped with sarcasm and Angela sighed heavily_._

_Could you be any more of a bitch? Quit pushing her away, just own up to what you did and apologize! Would it be so terrible to have her back in your life?_

I eyed the cashier and said under my breath, "Bella Swan." Then I handed her the exact amount I owed for my lunch and hastily walked away.

"Bella, please! Wait!" Angela implored from behind and I kept on walking, moving as quick possible.

"Sorry Ang." I whispered and a wave of tears filled my eyes.

This was best for her. I already hurt her once, so at least for her sake I would prevent it from happening again.

_Take a deep breath Bella, get yourself together before you see..._

I slammed hard right against a solid chest and I squeaked in alarm. Oh god, a repeat of what I did that day in La Push, when I literally bumped into Jake. Wonder who the poor victim is this time?

"Shit! I'm sorry, guess I wasn't watching where I was-"

"Well, well, we meet again." A familiar southern accent tone of voice greeted.

Figures, I would have to literally bump into Jasper! What is it with me running into everyone I know in the cafeteria today? I looked up, titled my head sideways and gazed at Jasper's amused face. I'm glad he finds this amusing!

Instantly I flushed red, shook my head and took a step back. "Seriously, I'm really sor-"

Jasper laughed and waved his hands dismissively. "Hey no worries Swan. No harm done here, though I can't say the same for your sandwich."

His eyes trained on the floor and I followed, eying what was my sandwich now a flattened mess. I frowned, humiliated over my clumsiness.

"How about I buy you another one?" Jasper offered and my eyes trained back on his good-looking face.

He flashed me a mischievous smirk, and if I wasn't so into Cullen, I would have been slightly aroused by it. I can't deny that Jasper is undoubtedly hot.

"And you can keep me company for lunch? Usually I hang out alone in the back of the school." He gestured his head toward the lunch room's back doors, and then intently looked in my eyes.

Excuse me, did I hear him right? Or are my ears clogged? Did Jasper Whitlock really invite me to have lunch with him? Why? Why the sudden interest in me? He and I have barely spoken two words until today! Come to think of it, I don't even have a class with him. First Edward, and now him. I think I just entered the Twilight Zone.

"Hey Bella, you okay?" My thoughts stopped short and I shook my head, feeling idiotic again.

This is seriously not my day!

"Yea, sorry, I was just...ah, thinking. I'm fine. And no worries about the sandwich, I wasn't hungry anyway." I shrugged and Jasper chuckled under his breath.

"Well, all right then. Would you like to join me anyway and make sure I survive whatever is in that mystery meat they serve?" His gray's glared at the serving line and I laughed, finding his humor to be pretty damn amusing.

_Uh, hello Swan, are you that oblivious or dumb? He's flirting with you...BIG time!_

No, no he's not, is he? I studied Jasper carefully and noticed the smile on his lips remained in place. Now I feel like absolute crap for planning to turn down his invitation. After all, Jasper came to my rescue this morning, but since I have a date with...I mean, I'm meeting Cullen. So I will have to take a rain-check, maybe I can have lunch with Jasper another time.

_Hello, are you crazy? Don't even consider it!_

"Thanks Jasper, but I can't. Um, I'm already meeting someone."

He nodded his head in understanding and quirked his brow. "Let me guess, Edward?"

I glared at him in shock and he laughed. "How did you-"

"Lucky guess. Tell him hi for me."

I nodded, spun on my heel to turn around and froze when Jasper added, "Oh, and Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Just be careful...with him. I don't want to see you get hurt."

I turned back around to face him, planning to ask what he meant by that cryptic advice but he already strolled away.

"See you around Swan, count on it."

_What was that?_ I blinked, completely baffled and shook my head. As I stood there processing the conversation that just took place, Jasper spun back around and strolled over to me. He smiled casually, but the nervous expression on his face caught me off guard. He raked his fingers through his blonde waves and gazed intently into my eyes. I glanced away shyly, wondering why he came back and what he wanted.

I didn't have to wait long for the answer because Jasper said, "So, I get this might be out of the blue and totally last minute but-"

Involuntarily I looked at him again and quirked my eyebrow, urging him to continue. "I was wondering, what are you doing after school today?"

Uh, what? He wasn't kidding, that question was totally out of the blue, and honestly I wasn't sure what to think of it. Before I had the chance to answer, Jasper added, "See, I was planning on driving over to Seattle and would like...um, some company."

I stared at him curiously and thought over everything he had said, while Jasper gazed down at his feet, shuffling them uncomfortably. Whoa, is he nervous? I suppose he should be considering he just flat out asked me out. Wait a minute as in a date...

_No, that's stupid Bella! He clearly stated he wanted someone to accompany him to Seattle, it doesn't automatically mean it's a date!_

Maybe not, yet still Jasper asked me to hang out with him. Oh shit, what do I say? Should I say yes? I mean, I don't have any plans after school from the looks of it. Hell, I never do. But, what about Edward? Something could happen during lunch with him.

_Oh don't jump the gun now!_ Crap, I'm at a loss as to how to answer. I admit, a part of me wanted to accept Jasper's invite. The guy did save my ass this morning and he seems like a pretty cool guy to chill with. Whoa, where is this urge to want socialize with others coming from all of a sudden? Edward, of course. He planted the seed for me, so to speak. It's all his fault!

_No, it isn't, the guy did you a favor, a few of them in fact. The sooner you grasp that, the better! _

My excessive thinking halted when a clearing of the throat snapped me back to Earth. Shit, Jasper! I still haven't acknowledged his invite.

I smiled sheepishly and quickly backtracked in my mind every word he said. "Seattle?" I threw him a humorous gaze and he smirked as I reminded him, "That's a three hour drive from here."

Jasper's eyes sparkled playfully and his mouth split into a devious grin. There's some thing about him that's a little unsettling. _Yes, because he might as well have 'bad boy' tattooed across his forehead!_

"Not with my 'Stang. I can get us to Seattle in about two hours." He appeared confident with his response and there's no doubt in my mind he would be good on his word.

I had this surprising urge to accept his offer and see what the afternoon would bring us. But, Edward popped in my mind and the temptation was quickly squashed. _Oh Cullen, how you influence me!_

"Your Stang?" I asked, feeling a little embarrassed and stupid when Jasper shook his head, clearly amused by my ditzy moment.

What's so funny? I wish he would fill me in on the joke!

As if Jasper had tapped into my thoughts, he clarified, "My Mustang, you know, my ride." He chuckled in amusement and grinned. "You're a funny girl Swan."

I tried to hold back from smiling, but failed miserably. "Glad I amuse you. Anyhow, thank you for the invite, but, ah...I can't."

Jasper nodded and I didn't miss the gleam of disappointment in his eyes. Now I feel like an ass, yet my conscience is saying I made the right decision.

"No worries, I understand. Just figured I would ask." Jasper shrugged casually and I nodded, then an awkward moment of silence passed.

It was just long enough for a thought to cross my mind and I stupidly blurted out, "Okay, what is it?"

Immediately Jasper looked innocent, too innocent, and I had this suspicion he was holding back from saying what was on his mind.

"What's what?"

I titled my head sideways and frowned. Yep, just as I suspected, something _**is**_ on his mind, and he's keeping it from me. But, what? And why?

"I can tell something's bothering you and you don't want to tell me, why?"

Jasper sighed as an uncomfortable expression creased on his face. "It's nothing...just, remember what I said before. Be careful with him, with Edward."

All right, it's official, I'm stumped! This was the second time Jasper had warned me about Edward. I understand things between them are...shaky. However, that has nothing to do with me. So, why is he implying Edward could hurt me?

"Look Jasper, I appreciate your concern, but it isn't necessary. Edward and I, well we're..."

Jasper laughed bitterly and gestured his hands in defense. "Hey, no need to explain, I get it."

Oh he does, does he?

"Oh you do, do you? What exactly do you think you get?" I snapped, narrowing my eyes and threw him a critical glare.

I tried not to take what he said the wrong way, but it couldn't be helped. His attitude and cryptic comments were irritating to say the least.

Jasper exhaled heavily and looked apologetic. "I'm sorry Bella. I meant no harm by it, honest. I just don't want to see you get too caught up with..._**him**_."

What? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I'm not too caught up in Cullen! _Oh bullshit, yes you are!_ I swear Jasper is neck to neck with Edward in the competition for who is confusing me the most. Why can't either of them just be straight with me?

Instead of brushing this off, as I should have, I asked one of the most idiotic things to date. "Why not? Would you rather me be caught up with _**you**_?"

Dammit, I seriously have no filter sometimes!

Jasper laughed as his grays pierced into mine. "Maybe, you never know what could happen." He then winked, turned around and walked away.

Huh, what was that supposed to mean?

"See you later Bella."

I shook my head in disbelief and murmured, "Yeah...see you later."

God, what a day this has been, and to think it's not even half way over. Now I have to make it through lunch with Cullen. Wait, Edward...crap! He's probably waiting for me over at the courtyard. Shit, I hope he hasn't been waiting too long!I bolted out of the lunch room and sprinted towards the courtyard. Once again the sky was over-cast and the sun hid behind the clouds. The scent of moisture in the air filled my nostrils and I knew in only a matter of time, rain would arrive.

Huh, maybe being a meteorologist should be Edward's second career choice. I chuckled to myself and searched around for a spot for us to sit at. Ah, perfect, there's one and it's private and shaded. _Uh, why do you care if it's secluded?_ I sighed, ignoring my chatty brain and headed over to the picnic table that stood alone a short distance away from a tree. I checked the table to make sure it was dry, set my book bag down, then placed my apple and bottle of water on top. I parked down on the bench, opened my bag and pulled out my Ipod. Might as well listen to some music while waiting for him.

Speaking of Edward, where is he? I pulled out my cell from my front pocket and checked the time. There's only twenty minutes until lunch ends. Huh, maybe the lunch line traffic is delaying him.

_Or perhaps he's standing you up! Dumb, dumb, dumb! His invite was probably a joke just to make you look... _No it isn't, he'll be here! I nodded my head determinedly and took a huge bite of my apple.

"_Well I'm not paralyzed, but, I seem to be struck by you. I want to make you move..._" I sang loudly and pretty off-key with the song, bobbing my head to the beat.

My eyes scanned around the empty courtyard, still no Edward. I sighed, deciding a distraction was necessary. So I grabbed one of the books from my bag, returning to the page I last read, and eagerly absorbed the words. Right in the middle of a key part, I feel a tap on my left shoulder and a smile creased my lips. Finally, he's here. Nervously I turn my head and look up to meet eyes with...

"Oh, it's you, what the hell do you want Mike?" I asked in a voice that expressed my distaste.

I turned my head back around and dove back to reading the story again. Then lowered the volume of my Ipod and groaned under my breath when Mike Newton started to talk.

"Well, hello to you too! Don't act so excited on my account." he chuckled and I shuddered as he sat down next to me.

I threw him an irritating glare and muttered, "Do you mind? I'm waiting for someone."

Mike raised his brow curiously and grinned from ear to ear.

_Wonderful, good job spilling the beans__,__ big mouth! Now he will never leave you alone!_

Not only is Mike Newton a major pain in the ass and a first-class pervert, he also has this tendency for nosing into everyone's business. I inhaled deeply, took a generous sip of water and continued reading. At this rate I pray he will eventually go away if I keep ignoring him. Suddenly his foul-stench breath covered the left side of my face and I scooted towards the end of the bench. I wanted to be as far away from him as possible; as in all the way on the other side of the globe possible.

"Waiting for someone huh? Do I know them?"

I didn't answer, just pretended reading the story. Mike exhaled sharply inside my ear, snatched the book out of my hands and tossed it across the table.

"Hey! What the fuck gives Mike?" I yelled, turning around to glare at him.

His eyes narrowed as a cold, hard look etched on his face. "What gives Swan, is I don't like it when a bitch like yourself acts like her shit don't stink."

I cocked my head to the side and smirked. "Aww, does poor little Mikey hate it when the attention is not on him?"

Uh Bella, that probably wasn't the wisest choice of words!

Mike scowled and suddenly his face was much too close in front of mine. "Listen Swan, I could have made this easy for you. But since you're being such a bitch I'm going to make it hard and _**very**_ painful."

Huh, what the hell was he babbling on about?

"Ouch, let go of me asshole!" I hissed furiously when Mike latched onto a heaping chunk of my hair, pulling it roughly from the scalp.

Pain radiated in the back of my head and automatically wetness covered my eyes. What's his deal? The nerve of that bastard!

"You think this hurts now baby, wait until I fuck that tight ass of yours."

My eyes widened as disgust and horror gripped my chest. Son-of-a-bitch! If he so much thinks he's going to do that to me, he's sorely mistaken!

"Fuck you!" I spat between clenched teeth as my eyes flashed in fury.

He pulled on my hair harder and I winced in pain, gritting my teeth tighter. He laughed, appearing satisfied over my suffering and shook his head in mock pity. "Oh you're about to Swan. See rumor is that you like it in the ass, and I want to be next in line to take it. Then I will pound that cunt of yours until you scream."

Why that sick, twisted asshole!

I shook my head angrily, disagreeing and Mike howled in a fit of laughter again. "Oh come on, I'll bet you'll even enjoy it. Or do you only prefer drunk college men? Fucking slut."

Okay, I've had it! I am through with being treated like garbage! I leaned my head back, glared straight at Mike and spat, my saliva landing right between his eyes. Immediately Mike released my hair, as if I shocked him, and wiped it off his face in distaste.

His blues blazed in fury as they trained on mine. "Why you little-"

Just as he lunged toward me, his fist just a mere inches away from my face, an arm blocked his. And in moments flat, Mike's body laid on the ground. What in the... I turned my head and found Edward standing beside Mike with a murderous expression on his face. Oh shit, Edward must have pushed Mike just in time before he punched my face! But, hold up, when did Edward get here? Never mind, thank God he arrived when he did! Mike slowly rose to his feet and I watched anxiously, wondering what his next move will be.

"I wouldn't think about making another move, if I were you Newton." Edward advised in a voice underlined with such threat it sent tremors up my spine.

Jesus, Edward is downright frightening when he had to be! Don't misunderstand; I'm very grateful for it at the moment. Mike deserves to have his ass handed to him!

"The best choice for you right now, would be to walk away." All of a sudden Edward was standing protectively by my side and instant comfort made my rapid heart beat slow.

His eyes were dead on Mike, observing his every move. Edward looked ready for anything, and if I were Newton, I would heed Edward's advice and leave. Because judging from his appearance, it was safe to assume he was this close to snapping off Mike's arm. No thanks to me. The damsel in fucking distress yet again! First, Edward dealt with Tyler's bull-shit in Berty's class and now has to handle Mike. Christ, I truly am a problem magnet! Nervously, Mike stood taller, whirled around and faced us. Instantly an amused grin split his mouth and a fascinated expression set on his face.

"Well, well, isn't this interesting? So is this who you were waiting for, Swan? Does Lauren know about you two, Cullen?"

Edward took a step forward and wisely Mike walked back, waving his hands in surrender. "All right Cullen, chill man. Just making conversation. Though Lauren would be really interested to hear about-"

"It's none of her fucking business, just like it isn't yours!" Edward cut in, malice detected in his normally velvet voice. "Now get the hell out of here, before I make you leave."

Mike chuckled, "No problem, but a warning bro, Tyler and I will be looking for you later. And Swan, be ready for me baby." He winked in my direction, licked his lips, and swiftly Edward bridged the gap between them.

I held my breath as Edward grabbed a hold of Mike's jacket collar, yanked it roughly and spat through clenched teeth. "Final warning Newton, _**I mean it**_."

Mike's face dramatically paled and I quickly checked to see if he had pissed in his pants. The bastard appeared utterly terrified and I enjoyed every second of it. Mike then swallowed, freed himself from Edward's grip and took a step back.

"You're a fucking lunatic Cullen! Just like your dead sister and institutionalized mother."

Why that asshole, that was low!

"**_Leave_**!" Edward barked, with a livid expression on his face and his eyes hinting his hate for Newton.

I wouldn't blame Edward one bit if he took a swing at Mike. Shit, I would have lied for him too and claimed he did it in self-defense!

Mike sprinted away, like the chicken shit he is, before Edward changed his mind and seized the chance to punch Newton's lights out. Once Mike was finally out of earshot, I sighed, pulled the ear-buds out of my ears and placed my Ipod down. Edward was still glaring at Mike's running form with a venomous gleam in his eyes. Slowly, I pushed myself off the bench and walked over to him.

"Edward, hey, it's okay now. Look at me."

I stood in front of him, angled my head up and gazed deep into his eyes. He looked so distant and his entire body was utterly tense. I exhaled, nervously reached out my hand and placed it against his cheek.

Edward blinked and he breathed out softly as his eyes met mine. "Bella..."

I removed my hand away from his warm, satin skin and dropped my arm to my side.

"It's not okay, that asshole, he..." Edward examined my face intently and then searched deep in my eyes. "Are you sure you're all right? He hurt you, didn't he?"

At the mere mention pain coursed the back of my head and I shuddered, rubbing it with the back of my hand. "It's...I'm all right, it's just... nothing."

"Nothing?" Edward echoed in a incredulous voice and shook his head furiously. "Jesus Bella, nothing about any of this is fine, and it's certainly not nothing! You should go to the Principals office and-"

"No! Being there once today was plenty for me. Besides they won't care, no one does."

_Wow, rethink that stupid comment! Will you ever get used to him caring about you, or ever fully let him?_

Edward's face fell, displaying a wounded look. "That's not true. I do, I care."

I nodded. "I know. I mean, I'm getting that now but..."

Edward raised his brow and his expression softened. "But, what?"

"Why?"

Edward scoffed and shook his head woefully. "You still don't understand, do you?"

I sighed and lowered my eyes, staring at the grass below. I couldn't look back at him, not right now. When I'm feeling so, vulnerable.

"Bella, I feel very..._** protective**_ of you."

Out of my control I turned my eyes back to him again. My heart thundered against my chest when Edward stepped forward, closing the slight space between us. My mind then replayed what he said, he feels protective of me?

_Well, think about everything he has done for you today, and Friday night, along with everything he had said to you. Are you finally getting it now?_

"I'm aware this might be new to you...that you don't want anyone caring about you. I've noticed you do everything possible to keep me at arms' length Bella. But, no matter how much you keep pushing, I will only push back."

I sighed and pondered about how we're both a glutton for punishment.

"You're right, I don't get it. Why me? Why now?"

"Why not?"

I inhaled deeply and basked over his divine and soothing scent. "I don't know...I'm just, scared." I whispered the last word so quietly I wasn't sure if he had heard.

Until he placed his hands against my cheeks and looked deep into my eyes again. "So am I, but I don't have it in me to stay away from you. No matter how much you push, Bella. I'm very drawn to you."

He paused briefly, caressed the apples of my cheeks with his thumbs and I sighed in contentment. I'm surprised I allowed Edward to get this close to me again, touch me and I hadn't asked him to back off. Probably because I don't have the strength to ignore my feelings any longer. I'm taking a big risk here. Deep down I'm scared to the very core that he will break my heart, and more so that I'll break his.

"I fear I may drive you away by saying this, but Bella, I care about you. Truly, deeply care."

His words seized my heart, but they also sounded so foreign. No one has said they cared about me in a long, long time.

I shocked the hell out of myself when I replied, "Edward, I don't want you to stay away, not anymore, even though I should want different. I'm drawn to you too, much more than I should be."

Oh shit, I can't believe I said that aloud! And more so it didn't feel wrong to have said it. It's now set in stone, already said, no go backs.

"But, I'm still...I'm-"

"I know, and I meant what I said earlier this morning." Edward flashed me a reassuring look and the slight pressure in my chest lessened. "We can take this as slow as you want it. I will be whatever you want me to be. As long as you let me in...let me be a part of your life, somehow."

Whoa, this is too over-whelming, abort, abort! The temptation to close up my emotions was great, yet surprisingly I didn't want to. God, his hands felt so wonderful against my skin. And for the first time in so long, I felt safe and dare I say, cared for. There are still plenty of things I'm confused about and more things I wanted to ask him. But for now I just wanted to savor this moment, before reality came tumbling down. All of a sudden Edward's hands were no longer on my cheeks, our bodies were no longer touching and the loss of contact left an appalling mark on my heart.

I glanced at him and he appeared lost in thought, running a hand through his hair. Suddenly, Edward grinned and his eyes blazed in excitement. Oh no, what's he cooking up in that beautiful head of his?

"So, now that we're on the same page...let's get out of here."

I threw him a bewildered look and raised my eyebrow. "What? But lunch isn't over and-"

Edward laughed. "I know, but I want to take you somewhere."

I couldn't believe my ears, was stellar student Edward Cullen suggesting for us to ditch school?

"You're serious? You're suggesting for us to ditch the rest of the day?"

He nodded, confirming and I shook my head in disbelief. "Oh no, no more field trips with you!"

I couldn't help but remember the disaster that was Saturday and didn't want a repeat of it. Especially now that things were off to a nice start between us.

Edward's face briefly appeared offended but quickly turned to amusement. "I promise this is a place you will love. Give me a chance to make it up to you."

I sighed, feeling guilty over my previous comment. "I believe you made it up to me just today alone, coming to my defense twice. Thank you again by the way."

Edward presented his crooked grin and I blushed. "You're welcome, and I would help you again in a heartbeat. So, what do you say? I don't know about you, but I really had enough of this place for one day."

Oh trust me, so have I!

I nodded eagerly. "Okay, count me in. So, where are we heading?"

Edward smiled playfully. "You'll see."

I frowned at him and folded my arms over my chest. "Uh, Cullen, I think you should know by now how I feel about surprises."

Really, after what occurred in La Push, I would think he would think better of it then to try and surprise me again!

"I do, trust me. But a place like this shouldn't be ruined by me telling you what it is."

I cast him an annoyed look and he chuckled. "Come on Bella, indulge me."

Oh I would love to 'indulge him'! No, scratch that, devour him! I licked my lips over the visual and he caught me red-handed. I swear his eyes darkened with lust for just a fraction of a second. Oh good god I want him!

_Hello, taking things slow, remember? _

The trance between us broke when Edward gestured his head towards the school parking lot and I huffed stubbornly. Damn, he's good at getting what he wants!

"Okay, fine. Before I change my mind."

Edward laughed humorously and waited while I gathered my belongings. As we quickly and discreetly strolled over to the parking lot, I asked, "So what took you so long? Before I mean? You were...running late."

Edward sighed and his jaw tightened as an irritated expression creased his face. "Sorry about that, I'll explain later. So, ready to leave?"

"I guess, but wait, what about my truck?"

Edward eyed my red rusty truck, which was parked a couple of feet away from his car, and furrowed his brows. "Hmm, we could come back for it later, or you could follow me?"

I didn't feel like driving at the moment; I just wanted to be inside Edward's car. God, I'm a mess!

"Yeah, it's cool, we'll come back for it later."

"Okay, then let's hurry and get out of here."

I agreed and Edward, the gentleman he is, helped me inside his flawless shiny Volvo. Once we were settled in our seats and buckled up, Edward placed the key in the ignition, turned it, and the Volvo's engine purred to life. I stared at the windshield, distracted, and tried to not obsess over what the remainder of the day would bring.

**~~~~BB~~~~**

**A/N: I know, how much can the poor girl take in one day right? Lol, she dealt with the skank twins, nasty ahole Tyler, and filthy Mike. Then I threw in Jasper and Angela, haa. I am terrible! For real though, I would love to know your thoughts regarding dirt bag Mike. Edward for sure should have clocked him! It was tempting to write that, believe me. But hey I may save it another time! (wink) Most of all I would love to read your thoughts about Bella's interaction with Jasper and his offer for them to hang out. Yea as I mentioned, Jasper is sticking around and will be in the picture quite a bit, but don't panic too much my readers, okay? And don't forget you also got an idea of what went down with Bella and Angela. Soon enough you will find out more about their story!**

**So our tortured, sweet Edward, plans to take Bella yet again to another unknown location. I swear didn't he learn from the last time, didn't Bella? Haa, don't worry sweeties it will be nothing like what happened in La Push, in fact things may take a very interesting turn between our troubled duo! I am not going to give much away, so you will just have to see what unfolds in chap 9 :) Speaking of, its also finished. Originally chap 8 was about 10,000 words in length but I decided to cut it down. No worries darlings, I plan on posting nine very soon since it is completed! Probably by later today, tomorrow for sure! Oh and soon I am going to write a special chapter in Jasper's pov. I really want to give my readers an idea of what goes on inside his mind, the history of him and Alice, and what he goes through on a daily basis. I am really looking forward to that! Hope you all are too :)**

**All right I want to make this short and sweet, well for my long A/N's haa. So thank you so much for reading, reviewing and just be so awesome! Oh, and guess what? Beautifully Broken was nominated for a Hidden Star Award for "You Cliffy Bitch" Voted ended already ;( Otherwise I would have asked you sweet people to vote, hee. I find out whether BB or my other FF, About That Night, which was also nominated, wins on the 16th. Please send good vibes my way, much appreciated! But if you like to vote for me, you still have a chance! The Sunflower Awards is still taking votes and you can vote for my other fic ATN, I would appreciate it! All right, that's it out of me. Till next time, chap 9 will be posted very soon! Don't be shy and leave me a review, xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9: Conversations and First Kiss

**A/N: Hello darlings *waves* Yes, I know this should have been up a few days ago :( Sorry for the mini delay! Life got in the way, as usual, and I am dealing with a nasty cold, again, *sigh* I have lost count how many colds I have gotten over the past few months, grr! Anyhow, thanks for being patient. I promise this chapter is worth the small wait, at least I think so :) Okay, quickly I want to just give out the usual thank you's! Thanks for reading, reviewing, adding this fic to your fav's, story alert, etc. It means the world to me :) I really appreciate that most of you are still sticking around! All right, onward with the reading, chat more at the end!**

*****Disclaimer: All things Twilight are Stephenie Meyer's! But** I** thank her kindly for letting me play with her characters to present all of you this tale ;)**

**Story Warning:** **This story contains a sensitive subject, has references of rape, alcohol, strong language and sexual situations. This is also a drama, not too angsty, romance story. I must warn once again if any of these themes may make you uncomfortable, you probably shouldn't continue reading! This fic is also rated M for a reason!**

*****My beta is the super-awesome Serenshadow, who stayed up super late to beta an added scene to this chap! Thank you for all you do bb, I am so grateful for your beta magic, and friendship!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9: Conversations and First Kiss<strong>

What the hell am I doing?

Not only are we cutting classes, but once again Edward plans on taking me to some unknown location. That doesn't settle well with me, given what happened on Saturday.

_Yes, but don't forget he did apologize for everything regarding that afternoon, and you accepted. So just move on already!_

I like to, I mean a part of me has, however...

A light groaning sound emitted from the leather seat, as Edward shifted on it, trained me back to the present. I turned my head to face him when he spoke. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

He was teasing me, his expression clearly gives it away!

I inhaled sharply and glared at him skeptically. "Is that a trick question? You're seriously asking me if I want to go with you to another undisclosed location? Well, to be honest...I'm not sure."

My heart almost ripped in two when I noticed the hurt and guilt ridden look on Edward's face. Perhaps I could have worded things differently.

_No, you said it just fine. You were being honest and reminded him that all isn't forgotten just yet._

Edward swallowed and nodded in understanding. "Bella, I respect and understand your hesitation. But you need to...I want you to trust me."

His eyes fixed on my face, studying my reaction as he waited for my answer. Dammit, when he looks at me with those eyes of his, it's very difficult to think! I lowered my eyes, stared down at my lap and mulled over his previous words. Trust. Trust. He wants me to trust him? I don't trust anyone, not since the nightmare I went through from living with Renee. She ruined my belief for the word, for the act. Just like she, and her fucking scumbag she allowed in her home, ruined me. Long ago I used to trust people. I trusted her, Charlie, even Angela for a short while and then...

Well, I'm not sure if I'm capable of doing so anymore. A small part of me longed to give it a shot. However, my fears were going to causing a problem, as they do every time.

"Trust has to be earned, Edward."

He sighed, his tone solemn and the leather seat groaned again as Edward leaned across. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted his face was inches apart from mine. His warm breath covered my skin and his enticing scent occupied my nostrils. I breathed in and closed my eyes; God does he make my head spin!

"Then give me a chance to earn it." Edward pointed out in husky, sincere voice.

I want to trust him, fully trust him. But, I'm only about half way there, which is ridiculous considering all he has done for me thus far. Nonetheless, he made a valid point, damn him!

"Bella," he murmured, his velvet voice causing shivers to travel up my spine.

He always has this way of effecting me. So much so I agreed to join him on a trip to another secret location. I better not regret this!

"Bella, please, look at me."

I took a deep breath, opened my eyes and locked them dead on his. I could gaze into those sea of greens all day. They're so pretty, and even his long and thick eyelashes are a sight to behold.

"Like I said, this place is better seen than if I were to just tell you what it is."

My expression must have revealed my skepticism because Edward smiled reassuringly. "I promise this will be nothing like what happened on Saturday."

I nodded my head, half smiled in response and Edward stretched out his hand, placing his thumb against my cheek. He rubbed my skin gently and a remorseful look crossed his face. "I'll always regret letting you down that day...allow me to make it up to you."

Guilt attacked my chest as his declaration sank in. I felt like a jerk because Edward saw the need to apologize yet again. Thanks to my pushing him away numerous times, thanks to my issues with trusting others and thanks to my anger. My reaction to him that day in La Push, and the following day after, undoubtedly left a mark on him.

"Edward, you don't have to keep apologiz-"

"I know, but I want to. So..." Edward exhaled, suddenly anxious. "What do you say? Take a chance and trust me, even a little. Or we can head back to campus and indulge ourselves by listening to a glorious lecture about the excitement of chemistry."

Edward's mouth split into a wide grin and it was contagious as I found myself smiling right back. Oh he's good, and he knows it! Cullen just had to remind me about the other class we have together. Good old chemistry. I loathe the class and it's teacher, Mr. Rivera, more than geezer Berty. This is a no brainer. Truthfully, I rather take a chance with Edward and go with him anywhere than waste my life sitting in Rivera's lame ass class.

"Fine, you win." I sighed in defeat, and to my dismay Edward removed his hand off cheek.

The loss of contact I felt deep within my heart and I longed for his touch again.

_Christ Swan, you're pathetic! Get it through your head once and for all that Edward is only interested in being friends, nothing more. Friends..._Do friends' touch the others cheek on more than one occasion? Or stare in the other's eyes with such intensity and emotion? I know the answers to those questions in my heart, but accepting them as truth is a whole other thing.

"Let's go Cullen, before I change my mind." I muttered teasingly and folded my arms against my chest, mock pouting for show.

Edward merely laughed and started backing the car out of the parking space. My stomach then flipped and a bundle of nerves invaded my insides. The not knowing bothered me, so I repeated Edward's assurances in my head and braced myself for what was ahead.

**~~~BB~~~**

The ride has been relatively quiet; thankfully not the uncomfortable kind. I discreetly observed Edward while he drove and admired his impressive driving skills. Hell, I'll admit the guy looks sexy behind the wheel. A few times we exchanged glances and other times we both attempted to break the ice, only to stop ourselves short. Before long the comfortable silence turned into an awkward one, so I was grateful when Edward switched the radio on. One of my favorite songs blasted through the speakers and I bobbed my head to the rhythm, singing under my breath. I was completely floored when Edward joined in, singing along as well, in a pretty damn awesome voice may I add. He just gave me another reason to like him a little more.

Edward turning the radio on was the perfect ice-breaker. We struck up a conversation easily, beginning with sharing our preferences in music, which were amazingly similar. Then we continued on by chatting about our favorite books, movies, and of course added in our dislikes too. The conversation never took a serious turn, which was a great relief. We didn't divulge about our home lives, our families, or even school. Just kept the discussion light and we even laughed a few times. I guess this is what having a friend is like. Has it been that long and I've truly forgotten? To be honest, hanging out with Edward, getting to know him, and sharing some general things about myself was...nice.

I didn't pay much attention to the scenery that we passed by. Or press Edward for clues, because in a way that wasn't important. I was distracted and the mystery regarding where he was taking me didn't cross my mind. I wonder if Cullen wanted me distracted on purpose. All of a sudden the conversation took a bit of a serious turn. Edward began talking about his brother, Emmett. All I know about Emmett Cullen is that he was the most popular guy at Forks High last school year and was on the football team. And he's also one of my brother's friends. Other than that, I know little about him.

However, Edward managed to change that in a matter of minutes. Unfortunately, I learned the horrible things Tyler had said in Berty's class, about the Cullens, was indeed true. Edward didn't go into lengthy detail, but he did confirm that Alice's death deeply affected his family. He explained how close him and Emmett used to be and how they had spent a great deal of time together. Yet currently, the brothers are like acquaintances, merely keeping in touch through texts, a few phone calls and every other weekend visits. Emmett spends little time at the Cullen home, since he resides in Port Angeles during the week, where he attends college with his long time girlfriend Rosalie Hale.

I know little of Rosalie also, but I do remember she pretty much owned the school last year because of her popularity. Rosalie was well known for playing an active role in school. If memory serves me correct, she was the student body president, captain of the cheerleader squad, volleyball team, Spanish club and honor society President. You get the idea. Anyhow, according to Edward, she and Emmett are still going strong. And she is the reason Emmett remains strong and focused with his life. Edward admitted he's proud of his brother for staying in a right state of mine and not allowing the darkness to consume him.

Edward didn't say much else after that and I wondered if he's been in a dark place ever since his sister's death. If so, then I'm confused, because it appears Edward has his shit together. At least it's what I want to believe, though deep down I have this feeling he's anything but. When silence passed between us again, the urge to question Edward about his parents nagged at me. However, I ignored it and squashed the urge since the poor guy had already revealed quite enough about himself. Where as I hadn't shared a single personal thing about myself. I realize that isn't very fair and eventually the time will come where I should tell him about my past too.

But, the very thought frightens the hell out of me. So I reflected about the comfort I provided Edward during the last few minutes and how it surprisingly made me proud. It soothed my heart and eased my mind knowing Edward appreciated me for listening to his woes. Just as I suspected, he needed someone to listen to him and be there for him without judging him. I realize Edward wishes to do those very same things for me, but I'm not ready. I want this slow pace to continue for a while longer. Since this whole friendship deal is going to take time getting used to.

_Baby steps Bella, baby steps._

"So," Edward said, breaking the silence, and side glanced in my direction. "You never finished telling me what happened this morning with Jessica and _**Lauren**_."

I didn't miss how he said Lauren's name like it was a cuss word. I really sensed the dislike he harbors towards her. A small part of me wonders if that's just an act for my benefit.

_Ugh, there you go again! Do you always have to be so skeptical?_

I sighed heavily and gazed out the window. I didn't want to discuss this, but damn Cullen just had to bring it up! I had a feeling he would, yet I had this tiny glimmer of hope that he forgotten about it.

"It's like I told you before, it's no big deal. They were just being their usual catty selves and it pissed me off. I'm over it and as you can see..." I gestured my hand up and down over my body for added effect. "no harm done."

Edward laughed bitterly and shook his head. "You're not fooling me Bella. Physically you may be fine, but emotionally-"

"All right Dr. Phil, I get it." I broke in, in an agitated voice. "Don't worry about my emotions, they are just fine."

"Are they?" Edward challenged, raising his eyebrow and glancing at me again.

Oh, he's beginning to grate on my nerves, just when things were nice between us! Can't the guy take a hint? Only seconds ago I made it clear that I didn't want to reveal the details of this morning. I tried to remain calm, but it was pointless and my irritation increased.

"What do you want me to say Edward?"

He exhaled; frustration and concern written on his face. "Why don't you start with the details about what happened, what they said, did..."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Listen, I honestly don't want to relive the bull-shit I went through with them, okay? Besides, why is it so important for you to know? Are you planning to talk to Lauren about it? Try and come to my defense? I appreciate it, but it's too late and I don't always need protecting."

I threw him a stern glare and Edward nodded, agreeing as his expression softened. "I'm sorry, it's just... the way they treat you angers me and I wish I had been there to help. As a matter of fact, yes, I wanted to defend you. But... I get that you don't want protecting."

"Right, I don't. Because I can take care of myself and stand up for myself, you know. Before you arrived earlier, I spat in Mike's face." Edward's immediate grin made my heart warm and he wore a proud expression.

"And if you hadn't shown up at all, or sometime later, then I would have kneed him on his nuts. Bastard deserves it." My cheeks flamed as anger seeped in my chest.

Just imagining what I could have done, stirs up several emotions. I wish I had the chance to knee Newton's balls, or punch his fucking ugly mug. But, I'm thankful Edward arrived when he did. I can't deny that a small part of me likes it when he comes to my aid.

"I couldn't agree with you more." Edward murmured in a dark tone and his jaw clenched while his eyes narrowed.

Suddenly his mood shifted and an amused expression etched on his face as he smiled widely. "I would be the first person in line to watch that."

The anger I had dissipated, and we both laughed hard at his comment. After we settled down, Edward said, "Bella, I'm so sorry you had to deal with Jessica and Lauren's crap this morning. I wish I was there to-"

"Help, I know." I interrupted, my voice gentle and low. "I appreciate it Edward, really. But Jasper found us and damn you should have seen it! The things he said to them, how he made those bitches shake in their hooker boots. He was..." I trailed off before my dumb ass said the word amazing.

Based on Edward's irritated look, I don't think that would have been the wisest thing to say.

"Great, he was, ah, great."

Seconds passed and the tension in the closed space was so thick it was past the point of awkward. I gazed intently at Edward's face, his eyes and then things made a whole bunch of sense. Cullen is jealous of Jasper!

"I'm sure he was." Edward muttered sourly under his breath and I shook my head in disbelief.

All right, that's it! I need to get to the bottom of what Edward and Jasper's problem is with the other. I am beyond curious about their history.

"Okay, spill Cullen, what's your deal with Jasper?"

Edward threw me a stare that read, "You should know". I shrugged my shoulders and a clueless expression creased my face.

Edward sighed, then his jaw clenched and his lips tightly pursed. "Besides the fact that he broke my sister's heart by lying to her on several occasions, abused narcotics, and cheated on her, nothing. I have no problem with _**him**_ at all."

What, am I hearing things? It's impossible any of those shocking words tumbled out of Edward's mouth, right?

"Wait, hold up! Maybe I heard you wrong, or did I actually hear you say-"

"Oh you heard correctly, make no mistake." Edward cast a quick glance at me and settled his gaze back on the road ahead. "Jasper Whitlock isn't the guy you think he is, remember that."

I wanted to believe Edward, and a part of me does. Yet, for some reason, doubts were influencing my feelings also.

I pushed the negative thoughts aside and once again idiotically inserted my foot deep in my mouth. "Funny, Jasper pretty much said the same thing about you."

_Dammit Bella, you take being stupid to a whole new level!_

Edward shook his head and a furious expression etched on his face. "Oh, did he now? That's rich coming from him! Look Bella, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, or suggest who you should associate with. But please, try and stay away from him."

His advice, though thoughtful, rubbed me the wrong way and it also made zero sense. Wasn't Edward the one who asked Jasper to keep a close eye on me? Now he's asking me to steer clear of him? Is Edward advising this to be a good friend, or is it more about his dislike for Jasper? If any of what Cullen said about Jasper is true, then I'm more curious than ever to hear more of the story.

"I'll be fine Edward, stop worrying about me so much. Besides, correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you the one who set out Jasper to keep an eye on me? Now you don't want me anywhere near him, what gives?" I asked in an amused voice, trying to ease the tension.

However, Edward wouldn't have it, his face displaying his concern and his eyes brimmed in anger.

"Bella, please. At least promise you will be careful and aware if you're around him again. And you are right, I did ask Jasper to keep an eye on you. But only because you refused to talk to me, or be around me."

Dammit, he had a point! I was the one who ignored him when he tried to speak to me this morning, and also refused to see him yesterday night. My heart dropped as the pleading look on Edward's face caught my eye. I'm growing more and more concerned over the way Cullen influences me.

_You need to pull back a bit, don't allow him to get further underneath your skin! _I think it might be too late...

"Fine, I get it. And I'll take what you advised into consideration."

Edward inhaled sharply and I didn't miss the look of disapproval that his face wore for a fraction of a second. Granted, I didn't promise him anything and only provided a vague response, but that's all I was able to give, for now. I needed to find out more about Jasper and Alice's back-story from Edward. Perhaps I could hear Jasper's version of it as well, then reflect more about it. God, what am I getting involved in?

I didn't give him the chance to say anything else and switched topics. "So, you haven't told me…what delayed you at lunch?"

Edward didn't appear too pleased by my question. Ah, so he doesn't like the tables turned on him, does he?

Edward frowned and his eyebrows creased together as he appeared lost in thought. "_**Lauren**_." He spat in answer between gritted teeth.

My eyes grew wide as his words sank in. I should have known! Figures that bitch would try and harass him too!

"She stopped me just when I was on my way to meet you..." Edward lifted one of his hands off the steering wheel and ran it through his hair roughly. "and started on her typical 'Eddie, I miss you, we were so great together' speech."

I snickered and shook my head incredulously. Mallory has some serious issues!

"So then I tried to confront her about her harassing you... and she just threw a tantrum." he laughed humorlessly and placed his hand back on the wheel.

This is priceless, why am I not surprised? Lauren seems to be the type who would throw a fit like a two year old!

"Tantrum?" I repeated and Edward nodded curtly.

"Yeah, she's infamous for them. Anyhow, she completely ignored the warnings I gave her about leaving you alone and ranted on about how I ignore all of her calls and texts. I swear she drives me fucking crazy!"

I observed in awe as his hands clutched the wheel so firmly, his knuckles are now a bone white in color. Damn, Lauren can sure piss a guy off!

"You warned her, about me?" I asked, my tone laced with surprise and Edward nodded, confirming.

"Of course Bella, I don't want her within five feet of you, _**ever again**_." The frigid tone in his voice, and the grave expression on his face, made me flinch.

God, Cullen is a protective one! Mess with the people he cares for, and you will regret it! I'm still having a hard time grasping the feelings Edward has for me. And I don't understand what it is about me that appeals to him. The only thing I can think is that I'm a breath of fresh air compared to Lauren. Speaking of the processed blond bitch herself...

"Well, um, thanks for trying... I know I asked this before but...what the hell did you see in her?"

Yes, I asked that. The filter switch has been off for awhile now anyway.

Edward inhaled deeply. "I'm aware this might sound screwed up...but, she was a distraction at the time. She, in her own way, helped take my mind off of Alice's death and the problems I dealt with at home."

She was a distraction? Well, that wasn't the answer I expected to hear. I wonder how far they took things in their relationship. I'm not brave enough to ask him that just yet, nor is it any of my business. A look of worry settled on Edward's face; and I suspected he was anxious about what I was thinking. I felt the urge to reassure him that what he confessed didn't bother me, because honestly it didn't.

"No, it's not screwed up, I understand. But..." A thought crossed my mind and I debated whether to ask him my burning question.

_Why would you ask him that? Only a person who is into that person would ask such a thing!_

"But, what? Hey, don't hold back, ask me anything Bella." Edward flashed a warm smile and my heart fluttered excitedly against my chest.

God, I love how his voice sounds when he says my name. _It's so sad Bella how hopeless you are!_

"Are you sure? You might want to rethink that." I joked with a mischievous smile and he chuckled.

"No, I don't need to. It's all right, ask me."

I took a deep breath and said the words all at once. "Areyoustillintoher?"

Half of me prayed Edward didn't understand any of what I spewed. But, judging from the baffled look on his face, I'm guessing he did. Christ, I'm a dumb-ass! Why did I ask that? I just showed I give a damn about Edward's love life; which will further complicated things between us then they already are!

"By that if you mean would I ever date Lauren again? My answer is absolutely not. Did I have any feelings for her? Not really, it was just... a casual thing Bella." Edward gazed at me briefly and my cheeks reddened in response. I felt so stupid for asking him that, yet deep down I'm glad I did.

Because I can't deny that I liked his response.

"Besides, I prefer brunettes, always have. Speaking of, there's a particular one I have my eye on." Edward grinned lopsidedly and his eyes shined in humor.

Cute! Though I give him credit for his charming remark, I know exactly where he's going with this. So I decided to humor him and jerk his chain a bit.

"Oh, do you? Hmm, does she go to our school?"

Edward laughed. "Yes, as a matter-of-fact, she does."

I titled my head sideways and tapped my index finger thoughtfully on my chin. "Okay, is she below average in height, has brown eyes and the initials in her name are BS?"

Edward nodded with a perplexed and amused expression on his face and I refrained from laughing my ass off. I needed to keep it together, or else I wouldn't be able to say the next thing with a straight face.

"Oh, so you have a thing for Ms. Brenda Sanchez, the Spanish teacher?"

Edward's eyes widened in appall and the baffled look on his face was priceless. "No, of course not! Bella, that would be... she's like forty or fifty years old!"

I giggled uncontrollably while embracing my middle. "Well, what ever floats your boat. Guess you like them older."

"Funny, very hilarious."

I kept up my fit of laughter and studied his repulsed expression. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. You should have seen the look on your face!"

Edward shook his head. "Fine, I'll take a joke at my expense. It was worth it just to watch you laugh. It's, when you do that, you look..."

"What? I look, what?"

"Beautiful."

A light blush spread over my cheeks again, and my neck as well. I turned my face away and peeked out the window. If we weren't inside this moving vehicle I might have attacked those lips of his! Goddamn him for working his magic on me!

"You do realize, I was talking about you, right?" his creamy voice murmured and I nodded slowly.

Shivers traveled up my spine as his silky fingertips caressed my jawline and my breath hitched. Edward's fingers then curled around my chin and turned my face around. Our eyes met for only a moment and when he trained his attention back to the road, he whispered,

"Bella, I don't want to drive you away..."

"I know." I replied, my voice soft and trembling.

As we drifted back to another comfortable silence, I noticed our hands innocently brushed together. At first neither if us acknowledged it and brushed it off as no big deal. Edward's focus was on the road ahead and I pretended to be distracted, looking out of my passenger window. Suddenly, his soft fingertips caressed my knuckles and my entire insides ignited. His simple touch alone made my body and soul feel things I never thought were possible. My heart hammered so fiercely against my chest I wondered if he heard it. I breathed out shakily, turned my head and stole a glance in his direction. The slightest hint of a smile graced those fuck-hot lips of his, and I seriously wanted to kiss him.

_Uh, what happened to baby steps?_

Baby steps, what? Edward Cullen is touching my hand, and is now taking mine into his. Holy shit! Our fingers are intertwined and they're a perfect fit. His hand feels so nice with mine. _No, release it! You are in way over your head! Maybe, but I don't give a damn._ I refuse to let go of Cullen's hand! His thumb glided up and down my skin and my breath hitched. Edward's eyes shortly met mine and the look he presented caused my heart to skip several beats. His expression was tender and unsettled; as if he was worried I would have a problem with his unexpected contact. I smiled at him reassuringly and left it at that.

No words were necessary during that moment.

Edward had managed to bring down some of the walls I had built around my heart, and a part of me is grateful he did.

**~~~BB~~~**

"Ouch, shit! God dammit!" I hissed sharply, my angry tone of voice echoing throughout the woods.

Once again I've succeeded in almost tripping over a tree root, and in the process nearly got attacked by a branch. See, this is exactly why I don't visit the woods. Ever. I hate hiking, nature and all the mess that accompanies it. I'm more of an indoor girl and proud of it. Nature and I just don't mix. Apparently she agrees, because the bitch insists on making me miserable and nearly escaped death a handful of times since Edward and I arrived. A part of me wanted to kill him; he could have warned a girl beforehand! _Yes, but if he did, would you have agreed to go? _Of course not. Ugh, damn him, he tricked me again!

I sighed through clenched teeth, picked up my pace, and struggled to keep up with Mr. Long Legs who was several steps ahead. At least there's a bright side to this disaster, I have a wonderful view of Cullen's ass. God it looks fucking hot in those jeans he's wearing! I became a little aroused and would be even more so if I didn't have to deal with this obstacle course!

Where the hell was he leading us to anyway? At this rate, I pray he was taking me to a secluded cabin with a really comfortable bed. Oh the possibilities...

"Hey, how's it going over there?" Edward hollered and I didn't miss the humor laced in his voice.

Oh, why that sexy, pain in my ass! Pay back is a bitch he will soon find out! _Right, you won't do a damn thing to him!_

"Oh, it's going fabulous; nature and I are getting acquainted. We're old friends you know." I said in a tone dripped with satire.

Edward laughed, stopped his rapid pace and turned around. He stood in place, eying me with a comical expression on his face as I walked briskly, huffing and puffing.

How humiliating, not only does he see I'm terrible at the hiking thing, but I'm out of shape too!

"You know, ah, you might feel more comfortable if you removed your jacket." Edward advised, flashing a cocky grin and his greens shining in amusement.

I would have been peeved at his suggestion if it weren't for those forearms of his that were majorly distracting me. Edward's sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and displayed his gorgeous fit arms. Christ, he's so damn attractive, hands down! Once again Edward was right. All of this walking has made me uncomfortable, hot, and feel as if I'm running a fucking marathon!

I inhaled sharply and dismissed his advice, keeping my jacket on just to prove I can handle it. _Yep, great plan, idiot!_

"You know Cullen, you conveniently forgot to mention that this excursion is life-threatening. Hiking, really?"

Edward laughed and shook his head. "So I take it you're more of an indoor girl then?"

Oh, what a smart-ass!

"You assume correctly." I took a deep breath and added, "So, why here? Are we just taking a tour of the woods for the hell of it, or are we actually here for a reason?"

I raised my brow in challenge and cast him an inquisitive glare. A part of me felt bad for giving him a difficult time, but damn this wasn't what I had in mind when he suggested we skip school for the rest of the day! Okay, I didn't have a particular idea in mind, but I wish we went over to his place instead.

"We're almost there," Edward assured, turning his head and stared at the path ahead of us. "very close in fact."

Edward glanced at me again and his expression was filled with concern. "Are you sure you're okay? I could carry you on my back the rest of the way."

As tempting as his offer is, I'm also a little offended by it.

I frowned, placed my hands on my hips and narrowed my eyes. "I'm not a child Edward. I can make it there without your help just fine, thanks."

Edward examined my face briefly and sighed, expressing his blatant disapproval. "All right, well if you're sure..."

"Yep." I snapped in a harsher voice than intended. Damn walking and nature for making me a cranky bitch!

Edward nodded with an amused smile, turned around and began to lead the way again. Hurriedly I moved quickly to catch up to him and paid no attention to my surroundings, which was a dumb ass thing to do. The next few seconds happened so fast I was powerless to prevent it. My foot once again stumbled over a tree root and just as my lips nearly kissed the forest ground, strong arms helped me back to my feet. I glanced up and realized I was flush against Edward. Our bodies were wonderfully pressed together as his hands gripped my forearms, holding me still in place.

Instinctively, my hands reached out and clutched his shoulders; his very toned ones. Our eyes locked, our quiet breathing echoed in the air, and the only thing that raced through my mind was I wanted him to kiss me. Just like we almost had in the hallway in school earlier. I know we agreed for things to progress slowly, but the urge to feel his lips with mine overruled that plan.

I swallowed nervously and chewed on my bottom lip, anxiously waiting for Edward's next move. His jades zeroed in on my mouth longingly, then roamed back to my eyes and he whispered, "Bella are you oka-"

"Yes, I'm fine." I murmured breathlessly. My chest clenched as some of the air in my lungs almost escaped and my heart thundered against my ribs. The fear I once harbored, turned into a heaping amount of anticipation.

_Kiss me, please Edward..._

He nodded and his gentle inhale pulled me back to Earth. "Good."

I sensed he was hesitating; the look on his face clearly showed his uncertainty and it was frustrating to watch. He knows what I want, doesn't he? Perhaps I'm reading him wrong, but I'm pretty damn sure he wants to kiss to me as well. So, why hasn't he? A knot of panic gripped my stomach when Edward took a step back and right then I knew I had to make the next move.

"Edward, wait! I..."

He threw me an expected look and I ignored the dancing butterflies in belly best I could, then continued, "Thanks."

_Thanks, that's it? Oh you chicken!_

Edward flashed his make-me-weak-in-the-knees lopsided grin and my heart pitter-pattered. "No problem, anytime."

Before I allowed him to completely break our embrace, I slid my hands over his shoulders and curled them around his neck. Then titled my head, stretched up using my tip-toes, and moved my face closer to his. Edward's eyebrows furrowed as he gazed at me with a baffled expression.

I can do this, I want to do this, more than I should...

"Bella, what are yo-"

I decided to hell with it, throw caution to the wind and softly pressed my lips to his. I have no clue what I'm doing, but I know I wanted to kiss him sweetly, the way he deserves. Yet as our mouths completely joined, sparks attacked within and left no part of me untouched. My entire universe in that single moment was affected and centered on only him. Edward and those silky, tasty lips of his. His scent and the heat his body radiated against mine felt undreamed of. I never imagined a single kiss would stir up so many emotions all at once.

I needed more, longed to taste more, and hear the lustful toned groan free out of his mouth again. I gripped his neck tighter and slid my hands up, ceasing at his hair then combed through his thick strands. Edward grunted inside my mouth and I deepened the kiss, pressing my mouth harder on his. Edward's hands suddenly clutched my waist, then traveled up until they touched my back and I wished I had taken my damn jacket off. I wanted to feel his fingertips caress my skin and explore more of me. But my conscience reminded that things between us should settle down.

Fine, after we kiss for a little awhile longer...

The tips of our tongues met and once they touched, they went into a frenzy, circling like mad. Our lips caressed passionately, hungrily and we didn't even bother to stop for breath. I could taste him for several hours, or even longer. He's sweeter and more amazing than in my dreams. Our mouths eventually slowed their heated pace, until they parted and our eyes held again. Our breathing was heavy, our faces mirroring the same flushed appearance and swollen lips. Then, without warning, reality came crashing in and snapped me to attention.

What in the world just... Did I really do that? Did I actually make the first move? Did Edward Cullen and I seriously kiss? His expression was perplexed as his eyes lingered deep into mine. Suddenly I grew nervous, the confidence I held moments prior a thing of the past. I was stressing out over what he will say, if anything, about what just happened. I probably screwed things up! _Dammit that was an idiotic thing to do, Swan! _I just assumed he wanted what I did. But, some of this doesn't make any sense. Only days ago Edward made it pretty clear he was only interested in me as a friend. If that were true, then why did he kiss me back?

"Bella, are you sure...that this is what you-"

"Yes, positive. I wanted to...do that, more than anything." I inhaled deeply and lowered my eyes; because I couldn't look at him when I direct back the same question. "Are you...I mean, was that what you wanted too?"

"More than anything." Edward echoed, his creamy voice husky and light.

My breath hitched and my heart nearly froze when his hands cupped the sides of my face, forcing me to gaze at him.

"Bella, you have no idea how long I've waited for this...how much I-" Edward stopped himself short and before given the chance to process his stunning confession, he added, "Remember we're taking things as slow as you want them to go."

I nodded, agreeing, even though deep down I felt entirely different. Our faces inched closer and my heart raced as I noticed the traces of desire in his eyes. "Yes, slow."

Edward's mouth captured mine, caressing my lips slowly and tenderly. My eyes slipped closed and I reveled over his taste and softness. I was so consumed in the heat of the moment I didn't even realize he ended our contact. Until I felt cold and his warm body was no longer pressed against mine.

"Come on, climb on my back." Edward suggested, snapping my mind out of the daze it was under.

I opened my eyes and glared at him in disbelief. His back was turned to me and slightly hunched over while his hands rested over his bent knees. He's serious? He actually wants to give me a piggy-back ride? Oh, why the hell not, all things considered! I shook my head in humor, giggled and took a deep breath.

Edward glanced at me from behind his shoulder with an assuring gleam in his eyes. "I won't let you go, promise."

I didn't miss the hidden meaning in his words, or maybe I'm reading too much into it. Either way, what he said was comforting. Carefully, I climbed onto his back, wrapped my legs securely around his waist and curled my arms tightly over his neck. I think I can get used to this, holding onto him and feeling his body pressed to mine. This is my idea of heaven.

Thankfully for Edward I'm light to carry, since I am on the small side. We didn't have much further to walk, just as he said, and stopped sooner than I expected. Once Edward assisted me off his back, he instantly twined his hand with mine. Again, delightful tingling sensations coursed through my body and my heart thundered in response. Our joined hands were soothing and the anxiety I felt regarding where we heading, was gone. Edward gently tugged my hand and I looked up at him.

His excited grin lit up his beautiful eyes. "Well, here we are. Are you ready?"

I briefly reflected what he asked. Am I ready? For whatever I'm about to see, yes. But, as far as where things may go from here with him? I'm unsure. However what I am sure about is, after the kisses we shared and the declarations said, things between us are taking a major change.

As much as the thought scares me, I can't deny the connection that's continuing to blossom with us, feels right.

**~~~~BB~~~~**

**A/N: Wow, so yes they kissed! About time if you ask me, hee :) For real, I bet I threw some of you for a loop, huh? haa. I hope it was nice as you imagined, I personally loved it! And the entire chap too, I have to say it's one of my fav chaps thus far! Just so much has been said, and for Bella to finally open more of her heart to Edward is major progress! Not to mention her kissing him is a HUGE step, things can only move forward from here, right? Oh yes, they will, still a bit slow going but their relationship will progress! So any guesses about where Edward took her? I know one of my lovely readers guessed it right in their last review! Let's just say being at this place, will cause Edward to reveal even more about himself, his family and Alice's death to Bella. Bella may open up a bit more about herself too. And, there also might be a little bit of kissy time, hmm, *wink***

**After the next chap, things will start to move forward a bit faster. I will give these little previews... Bella will interact with Emmett a little, as he's finally introduced! She may also meet Dr. Cullen, Edward's papa. I will say Carlisle's character will surprise you, and not in a good way! Okay, I gave away enough for now, lol. So back to the chapter, any fav lines, parts? I know I have many! So yeah, as you can tell Edward isn't very fond of Jasper. Bella will have a chance to hear Jasper's side of things in the near future. But before then, I may write and post a bonus chap in Jasper's pov. As I mentioned before, I really want you guys to have an idea of what Jasper's life is like, and get to know him! Also, I might as well throw this out there now... pretty heavy drama to come! Not the next chapter, but the ones after and further on into the story. So, enjoy the sweetness/ things are looking up stage. I hope you guys continue to stick with me through this and remember I am a HEA woman!**

**All right, hope you enjoyed the chap and I look forward to reading what you all thought of it! Speaking of review, thank you so much for reviewing, it really makes me smile! I enjoy hearing from all of you and love reading your thoughts and guesses as to what will happen next in the story. So, don't be shy, leave a review and I do reply to each one. Though I still owe a couple of review replies for the last chap, sorry. I will get to them, promise ;) Don't forget I am on Twitter, vampgirl792011, feel free to follow me and tweet me! I am also on facebook under vampgirl79fanfiction, I would love it if you liked the page :) Okay, I am finally out of here, haa, till next time! I'll be honest, chapter 10 will probably take a while, sorry :( I really need to focus on my other fic, About That Night. My poor readers haven't received an update for a while, so I owe them. But, I will update as soon as I can! Thanks for reading and all the support! Love you all, xo**


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